Very Confused And Not Knowing What To Do

1 Replies
Angela - December 17

I am 28 years old and 8 weeks pregnant. I am already a single mother of a 6 year old girl and just found out I am pregnant again. The father of my first left when I was pregnant but I decided to do it on my own. Now the man I'm pregnant for now is 30, with no kids, and I have been seeing him (not very seriously) for 2 years but have known him for 11 years. Well when I told him I was pregnant he said I should have an abortion and that it is unfair for my other daughter to have another child. I do not feel that way at all, actually she would love to have a sibling. I am debating on if I should have an abortion or is sooo hard because I know I want another child but I wanted to be with someone who would support me and be a friend but I can't count on him being like that. He hasn't called me in a week, so I know if I keep the baby I'm doing it on my own. I cry and cry not knowing what to do. I know I want a baby but don't know if I should just wait....does anyone have any suggestions? My mother is very supportive as well as my friends. But I am worried what people will think of me having 2 kids with different fathers and neither one of them are in their lives....this makes me very sad. I also am worried how the people at my work will react...people are gonna think I'm crazy...Anyway I have an appointment for next thursday for an abortion but don't know if I should go through with it...I might regret it my whole life...or if I have an abortion, in a couple of years i might meet "the right one"...I am so confused can someone please help me....


jap05 - December 21

Society will always judge people. Who declared what was the norm and what is not the norm. People get into situations and circ_mstances. There are people from all economic and social backgrounds that have fallen into multiple marriages, blended families, adultry.... the truth is life has no guarantee. The only people who know you have two diffrent fathers is you and anyone you share your business with. It truly is not anyones business. Just because they will have different names does not automatically mean you are or are not with the father. People only know the details of your life that you put out there. I do hope you did the following with your first child if not it is not to late: Take the fathers to court and make them accountable for the role they played in conception. You child has the right to get the best support they can. Establish paternity, child support retro to date of birth, medical care incident to birth(he can be made to cover the childs medical depending on the state), maternity expenses... Look in your phone book and start calling family law attorneys and ask questions, they will answer most them over the phone for no charge. It is important to establish paternity for your childs best interest. If the father were to die the child would recv. social security, rights to his a__sets (home, money, iras...) Also the child has the right to know who the father is without any doubt, many times without DNA or established paternity if the child finds the abondoned parent says, "i wasn't sure you were my child" or something crazy to excuse his actions. DNA test and establishing child support payments through the court eliminate that. If you use an attoney the courts will often award the mother all attorney expenses, make the father pay for DNA if found to be the father, and make the father pay court cost. In the end you and your child get a__sistance. You will be cheating your children and allowing him the right to abandoned his responsibilty. Second I encourage you to use this as a lesson and be more responsilbe and love yourself enough to protect yourself - God gave you life (a child), next time you could get death (AIDS). Demand respect from men and make sure they use protection and you use protection. I alos encourage you to find ways to self improve go back to school - you may qualify for a__sistance & child care & know there are colleges that offer online courses. Better yourself worth and you can provide a better future for you and your children. It also gives you more confidence. As for meeting the "right one" , a man will love you for who and what you are, but I would take time to self improve and place my children first men will always be here. Men are not going to be gone from earth. So please take time to self improve and show your children a womans strength.



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