What To Do -pg111488815818

7 Replies
jackie - April 30

i am 11wks preg, and not w/ the babys dad, he wants nothing to do with me, i feel alone and think that my life is going to be ruined, now that i am having a baby i am 24yrs old. any advice i really want to keep this baby and could not imagine having an abortion but every once in a while it pops in my mind would if i didn't have this baby and i wait to have a baby w/ somone who will care for the both of us? i need some advice, thoughts?what should i do?

 

Anne - April 30

Hi Jackie, I am sorry that you are going through this. There are so many options and one never knows what is best. However, have you considered placing your baby through open adoption or semi-open adoption? This way you can create a nice friendship with the adoptive parents and still be a part of the babies life as much as you wish to be. Only you know what is best for you and in time everything will come to you. If you ever feel like going the adoption route, please contact me as my husband and I are seeking a private open, semi-open or closed adoption based on what the birthmom wants. We are very easy going and want to have a nice relationship with a birthmom during and after her pregnancy. My email address is [email protected] I wish you all the best in whatever decision you decide to make.

 

beans - April 30

Hi Jackie. I feel for you. It's gotta be a tough situation you're in. Please consider adoption. I'm not a mom nor am I seeking to adopt, but so many of my good friends are having so much trouble conceiving. I have friends who have been trying for 7 or more years, and no luck. I'm sure there are many many of these types of families out there, and you and your baby could be their dream come true. You could change a family's universe, and at the same time know your child is being well taken care of while you pursue that knight in shining armor you truly deserve. Take this baby as a gift, and share your love with a really deserving family. Best of luck to you!

 

Aisha - April 30

Hi jackie...dont consider adoption. As far as I am concerned these women are piranas focusing on women who are at their most sensitive in life. Your life will never be ruined having this baby...in fact that child will bring blessings all by itself. Be Strong

 

beans - April 30

Aisha - what a terrible thing to say! I only hope you never have to feel what it's like praying every minute for a child and there's just something wrong with your body that you can't have one. Jackie simply asked for advice, and we're offering it. No one is trying to take her baby! It's her child, her life, and she can do what she believes in her heart is best. But to call the poor moms-to-be who can't have children piranas is just heartless! You should be ashamed of yourself!

 

Anne - April 30

Thank you Beans, I appreciate you sticking up for us "pirranah". Some people simply are too closed minded to understand the effects that infertility can have on women, couples, etc. My mother had her son when she was 16 and placed him with a WONDERFUL family. She could not have raised him and she knew it so she made the decision to place him with someone that could. They did a fabulous job with him and when he reunited with my Mom 21 years later we found him to be a spectacular person. They did a phenomenal job with him. Aisha, we don't doubt Jacie's abilities to raise her baby successfully. We just wanted her to know that there are other choices than abortion or struggling trying to do it alone. Some women don't want to do it alone, some do. To each her own. However, I was sincerely hurt by your remarks. I am a very kind and compa__sionate woman who would never come into these areas and bash or take advantage of anyone. Perhaps you should re-read my initial post where I state "Only you know what is best for you and in time everything will come to you". I also concluded with "I wish you all the best in whatever decision you decide to make". Those are not threatening comments by any means - yet they are supportive. I do hope someday that you can reconsider your opinion of people who want to adopt. We really aren't "pirranah". Maybe you should email me sometime and get to know me so you can see that I am not a fish with teeth that eats birthmoms ;) [email protected]

 

April - May 1

Jackie... i'm pretty much in the same position as you are... i'm 23, 28 weeks pregnant and don't even talk to the babies father (he has a new girlfriend). What helps me is knowing that once this baby's born, she'll be all I need, and I will be all she'll need. You are going to love your baby so much you won't know how you ever did without her, and it won't matter that the father isn't involved because you and your baby will have each other. There's also all kinds of government help for single moms, such as medicaid and WIC. Those programs have helped me tremendously. If i were you (which I AM in your situation)... I would keep the baby.. and just think about all the fun times you'll have to look forward to. Also... you can go through domestic relations to get child support and all that... legally the father HAS to pay child support whether he wants to or not, and if he says that he isn't the father they will make him take a paternity test. You can always ask your doctor for any further information.

 

April - May 1

Also... for beans... I'm sure it's very difficult to hear that you will never be able to have kids, but keep in mind that miricles happen. I have a friend that was told by several doctors that she could NEVER have kids... and that even if she did she would never be able to carry full term. Guess what... she has two BEAUTIFUL boys now (ages 2 and 4). Also my great grandma was told she would die if she had kids. She also had two. If she would've listened to those doctors one whole side of my family wouldn't be here! I'm a firm believer that if God wants you to have a child, you will have one. Telling people on the internet who are confused is not the answer. Now if she was saying "i definately don't want this baby.. and i'm concidering abortion" THEN i would say to do everything you can to get her to adopt... but she wants to keep her baby... and she should! Would you rather her agree to adopt.. get some adoptive couples hopes up.. and then when she sees her baby and changes her mind.. then the adoptive couple doesn't get their baby? seems to me like that would be worse. So if you want to give advice, adoption IS an option... but I think babies need to be with their birth moms as long as that mom is willing and able to take care of the baby, which I believe that jackie is.

 

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