Abortion Adoption Help Lots Of Questions

3 Replies
guccigal87 - August 13

ok so i am not a teen anymore i guess. I have a son who is 18 months old and i love him to death.. well UH OH i just foud out im pregnant with number 2. My boyfriend is telling me i cant have the baby that he will support me with what i decide but we cant afford it. Which is TOTALY TRUE i just graduated from medical assistant which was BTW very hard to do with a baby and we are finally getting on our feet. Now i know a lot of you have had abortions or open adoptions and im looking into that right now. I want to know how you felt about everything because im not sure i can give up my baby to someone but i cant kill it i would LOVE to keep it but i know that my boyfriend has a point i just dont want to hate him for making me do something i didnt want to. I understand i got myself into this mess i need to take responibilty. i just want my kids to have the best in life and right now im almost at the point where i can provide for my son, i dont know if i can add another mouth onto that. Was it hard to give up your babies, is open adoption better in your view, or should i just get an abortion and have counsaling so there is no way i can change my mind and try to raise a baby on the government


Grandpa Viv - August 13

Tough - and plaudits for your realistic approach. It turns out that abortion is easier to go through with than is adoption. The relative statistics prove that. I used to advise psyching yourself into the mindset that you were carrying the baby for someone else - not really yours. To that I now add that there should be no chance of bonding at birth - you would prefer not to touch, see, or hear the baby at such a vulnerable moment. Is that something you can handle?


amanda17 - August 13

Just guessing from your post but I think an open adoption would be the best choice for you. I mean you have a kid so an abortion will be twice as hard for you, you acknowledge that you can't afford another child so you obviously want what's best for him/her. With an open adoption you can be rea__sured your child is in a good place with good people. However, with an open adoption it makes it harder for you to let go. You see your kid grow up for the first year (if the adoptive parents continue it for that long) and you become emotionally attached... but just the pregnancy will get you emotionally attached anyways. If you think you are strong enough to love this child, yet give him/her away, then I recommend an open adoption. Good luck.


Teddyfinch - August 14

ohkaaay. if he's saying he'll support what you decide, then he shouldn't be telling you reasons to kill it off. maybe he should have known better than to not use enough protection? if he can't handle another baby, tell him to snip himself to prevent this. if you do not want to do it, don't let someone convince you to do it. you will never forgive yourself if it is a decision that you didn't make and it can put a serious strain on your relationship if you feel resentful later. and, hun, if people waited until they could afford babies, no one would have them. no one can really afford a child. we all just make do. if you can't keep it, give it to someone that can't have children. you might feel terrible about giving it up, but you will know you are doing what's best for it and you will brighten someone else's life that maybe could not have a child any other way.



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