Am I Bad For Wanting This

7 Replies
samgray863 - January 22

Hi all im new and i need some advice I've just turned 20 and my fiance is 23 we've been together 4 years, i still live at home with my parents and he lives with his parents too. I have a part time cleaning job and he works full time, and my problem is i want a baby but he doesn't, do you think I'm in a good enough situation to have a baby?. We couldn't afford a mortgage so we would probably rent but he doesn't want to do that he wants to save get a mortgage then have a baby and thats about 3 years time and I'm ready for one now. What should i do, sorry about the long rant but it's been bubbling up inside me.

 

CAROL - January 22

First off, there's nothing wrong with renting. So, if you rent, don't think it's the end of the world. but if your fiance is saying he wants to wait, you're going to have to respect that decision. If you had a baby, you'd probably end up giving up your job, so it'd just be his income. Can his income support a family of three, rent/mortgage/, utilites, car, groceries, insurance and heaps of other bills you don't expect but pop up? It would be much easier on you two if you had your life together before you going for a baby.

 

freebird - January 22

It sounds to me like your boyfriend has a good head on his shoulders. Three years is not a very long time to wait and your situation will be that much better. I can tell you that it's very tough to save up money once you have children and could take WAY longer than 3 years for you to get that mortgage if you have a baby first. You've only just turned 20, you've got plenty of time. I think you should listen to your boyfriend and wait. He just wants to have the best possible situation for you to raise your child in. Good Luck!

 

AyameLovesXion - January 22

Well you can't push him into a baby, so you really have to respect his decision. There is nothing wrong with WANTING one, but it might really be better if you do wait.

 

nikki11 - January 23

im 20 n my fiance is 22 we are renting an trying to have a baby... to be honest if you have a morgage you will be strugling more than with rent because paying back a morgage is much more

 

freebird - January 23

Yes a mortgage is more, BUT you are building equity. When you rent you pay the money every month and it goes to someone else. When you have a mortgage you're paying the money to yourself. Yes, you're really paying the bank but with every payment you make you OWN a little more of your home. When it comes time to move, guess what? You sell your house and pay off the rest of your mortgage and whatever money is left is YOURS to put toward your next (bigger) home. THAT's how those people who live in big fancy houses get them. You begin at your age with a starter home and you slowly trade up over the years. If you listen to your fiance you will be very thankful in a few years. There isn't anything wrong with renting, but getting your first mortgaged home is key to owning a nice house to raise your family in in the future. Renting and having a baby will only make it that much harder for you to save your down payment (babies are money vacuums) and you'll be renting for a much longer time than you want to. There's nothing wrong with renting, but why give all your money to a landlord every month when you could put it into owning your own home and keep it for yourself?

 

mummy2paris - January 23

hey well if you want to have a baby with ur fiance then you will have to wait. Its good that he wants to wait till you buy a house thats sensible, i already have a daughter me n my partner r waiting till we can buy a house we ust live in a small rented house so we can save try and comprimise

 

Grandpa Viv - January 23

It's totally understandable that your mind and body are wanting a baby at 20 years. That is what women have been doing for the last 400,000 years. Trouble is, it's not smart in today's world. Listen to your boyfriend, spend the next few years getting a better education (trade school?) and then when you have health insurance, a nest egg, a marriage, and a roof over your head you will be able to give your baby the life I am sure you would like for it to have. Good luck!

 

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