Change Of Heart It Hurts Too Much

65 Replies
shevvi - December 5

i posted here for just a lil while in may this year when i 1st found out i was preg with my 3rd & the dad had split. in the end i knew i couldnt look after another child on my own, plus it would effect my kids lives a lot. i want them to have a great quality of life. In the end after loads of thought i decided on adoption, i registered with an agency, and they found a family that were cool. We've met up a few times and talk often & they are helping me financially 2. Thing is though & this is sooo bad :( i'm 35 weeks now,, so close. I just feel i cant give this baby up. When i think of handing him over, not taking him home with me, looking at my other kids and him together..... i dont think i can do it. Please wtf do i do?? this really is tearing me apart :(


shevvi - December 5

i say 'registered'.. i dunno what the word is lol


Franny - December 5

May I ask how old you are...? What ever you decide it must be ASAP for everyone involved. What have you been telling your children thus far? This new family deserves to know soon as this is probably one of the biggest events in their lives and you just might pull the carpet from beneath their feet. If you do decide to keep your baby then of course you would have to financially reimburse the family if their was an agreement already in place which is what it sounds like. GL


tish212 - December 5

ok... first off relax...and take a breath.... legally u have the right to change your mind...adoption can be a terriably painful process...early in pregnancy its easy to say I will adopt out this child b/c the baby isn't 100% real to you...however as the time pa__ses and the baby moves more you become more attached and the decision u made earlier seems immpossible. yes if you change your mind the family will be hurt...I was on their end of the deal 3 years wasn't until the week before the girl delievered that she changed her mind...and it crushed me yes...but I moved on...and I have since seen her with her little girl and I can say she deserves that... I can't say I would have made a better mother...equal yes but no better than her.... what I am trying to say is this is your baby....your decision...and while yes if change ur mind the family will be crushed just remember if you decide to do it just to spare their feelings your not thinking about your own or your childs...its not just about this adoptive family...its also about what you think is best for you and your baby...and the rest of your family. you wouldn't be the first girl to have second thoughts and possibly change her mind...and you wouldn't be the last... that is a risk all adoptive families take...I think you should do what makes you happy...not to promote selfishness but its ur life and ur what will make u happy in the end...I would hate to see that u do something you will later regret. everyone is goin to have different opinions on here...but the most important one is yours...follow your heart and do what you feel is and keep us posted


jennifer_33106 - December 5

My honest opinion is that it is your baby. If you wanna keep the LO then do it! Like Tish said they will get over it and move on. Regardlessw of what anyone says, this is YOUR child. I would let everyone know of your decision right away of course. You love your baby. There is nothing wrong with that. You have a right to this child more so then anyone else. GL hun!!


Teddyfinch - December 5

i agree with tish and jennifer. also, the adopting family knows all the risks involved and they know that you are able to change your mind so while it will be upsetting to them, in reality, they know you can decide to keep it. please let us know what you decide.


Grandpa Viv - December 5

This is a trying time for any woman thinking of giving up her baby. It helps a bit if you have been telling yourself all along that this baby is not yours, you are just doing someone else a favor by carrying it for them. I think you need to give the other mother a big hug and share your feelings. Is this to be an open adoption where you will get to see the child once in a while? What has changed in your life that makes you think you will not be adversely affecting the lives of your existing children, or was your original decision the rational one after all? Good luck as you struggle with this.


pomny143 - December 5

What ever your decision, just know that we are all there for you. Do what your heart tells you to do, but make sure you still think with a clear head as well. Good luck and please keep us posted. P.S. Maybe you could talk to someone like your priest or the agencies psychologists.


EMMA2 - December 7



EMMA2 - December 7

Would your life truly be all that bad or different with another child? Would you really suffere financially ? How will having a sibling affetc your other kids so much? I don't understand what you mean by all this. I do understand you are in a tough situation emotionally and I would never be able to give up my own. You have a few more weeks to really take a look at your situation and ask yourself what is best and is it going to be worth it in the end? Good luck


Emerald Princess - December 10

im scared of this.... i am looking into adoption too but im scared of getting too attached and not being able to go through with it. how are you doing now, have you made any decisions?


tsprite - December 12

Look at it this way. You have 2 children that rely on you and look up to their mommy. You will always have that with them. They won't look at you any different if you decide to give this baby to a good home. You can tell them that you made an angel for another family to love. Think of all the years of explaining you'll save having to explain why daddy's not around. Even if he comes back around, let's be honest, he left once, he'll leave again.


Ezzie - December 17

Hey how you doing now? I'd agree with most of the others, this is your baby at the end of the day. It would be very hard for the adoptive parents, but no one said its ever gonna be easy. I've had a bit of experience with trying to reason with a woman who was told by my mum that she could adopt my child. I tried to be as sympathetic as possible but I wouldnt allow anyone to make me feel guilty for wanting to bring up my own flesh and blood. Anyone with a heart would understand you having a change of heart, its not like giving up a toy to someone. Have your circ_mstances changed since when you found out you were pregnant? Hope you've made the choice right for you x


Teddyfinch - December 17

i'm kinda wondering what she's decided to do.


PreciousBaby19 - December 17

Hopefull the decision thats best for her..and what she truly feels in her heart.


Merciii - December 18



Teddyfinch - December 18

somehow i think you post the opposite of anything that is supporting. don't listen to Merciii. she's high again. and had a d*** in her ear so she can't seem to think straight.



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