Confused As To Whether I Am The Dad

9 Replies
Tom - September 3

I'm a 19 year old guy and my ex girlfriend who is 17 is 8 months pregnant. We were together for about a year and we split up 6 months ago when I dumped her. I always used condoms, they never broke and as far as I know she was on the pill. She told me when she was 5 months pregnant so 3 months after we split up. I decided to fully support her through the pregnancy but a couple of weeks later when I refused to get back together with her she screamed at me and told me I wasn't the dad. A few days later she said she was only joking, but I've since asked around and people tell me I wasn't the only guy she had s_x with and her best friend kindly told me a couple of weeks ago that my ex had been to a clinic to be tested for s_xual diseases just before we split up. I only saw her at weekends as I had a punishing work schedule so these tales I was getting sounded full proof. When I confronted her a couple of weeks ago she admitted to me that she slept with a number of other guys from school and the neighbourhood. She said that she knows I'm the dad, but how can I be sure? I don't want to support and care for a child that is not mine! When I mentioned a paternity test a couple of weeks ago she called me all these names and said how dare I suggest she doesn't know who the dad is. What should I do for the best? I've been avoiding her calls since.


brucen - September 2

Considering she admitted sleeping around, it's not only fair but practical for you to ask for a paternity test. If she wants to be outraged at anyone, it should be herself for putting the both of you in a situation where the question NEEDS to be asked.


Sandy - September 2

You really need to get a paternity test. If she will not submit to one, since she admitted to sleeping around, she may know that the child is not yours. I think it is very likely you are not the father, especially since you say you always used protection and used it correctly. My guess is you are the one she wants to be the father because you are better than all the other guys she was sleeping with. I would not give her one dollar until it was confirmed that this was my child. You don't want to be trapped. Good luck.


humm.. - September 3

tell her that you wont support her or the baby untill you know that you are the father .. she probly doesnt want to because shes scared that your not the dad and she still wants to be with you and this is one way she can.. hope everything works out .. post to tell what happens


Hayley - September 3

Consult a solicitor. If she refuses to get a test done, the courts can probably order her to.


kate - September 28

DO NOT give her any money untill the test is done and your the father. But if you want to become a father I looking! Good luck


jennifer - September 28

I'm 19 and 8 1/2 months pregnant. I know my fiance is the father of my child so I had no problem when he asked for a paternity test. It made me uncomfortable to know he didn't trust me, but I have no worries so I'll do it. If she KNOWS this is your baby, she would do the paternity test (at your expense) and prove it to you. Sounds like she doesn't know. Be careful and if she won't do one, I hate to say it, but take it to a judge.


kennesha - September 28

well, since she slept with all those boys, its only fair that you get a paternity. you could get a jod, and work your but off, and when the kid's four, you'll realize" whoa! this baby isn't mine. in fact, he's a splitting image of my best friends older brother!" then what?


ashley - September 28

i totally agree w/ everyone else. Don't support her until you know for sure... if she had been faithful in the 1st place neither of you would've been put in this position... i hope you guys work things out


Shorty - September 28

Get a paternity test and I would not put yourself in a situation that you need to support this baby until you know who the father is. Your ex seems pretty selfish in playing these deadly games with people, not only is she taking you for a ride in playing "who is my babies daddy" but in her sleeping around while being with you, she has also opened herself up to STDs which could have been pa__sed thru carrier to carrier. There is NO WAY a mother can know who the father of her child is unless she is in a monogomous relationship.



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