Feeling Guilty And Reluctant To Take Plan B

23 Replies
amanda17 - April 24

Last night I was stupid. I missed the feeling of s_x without condoms, so I gave in. I thought if we used the withdrawl method it'd be okay just one time. Just my luck, he didn't pull back in time. I checked my calendar and I will probably ovulate in the next few days. I know the responsible thing to do right now is to take Plan B. I've told my grandma about it, and she's taking me to Planned Parenthood this morning. I know that Plan B isn't like the abortion pill, I know I'm only preventing pregnancy... Like putting on a condom or remembering to take birth control pills. But for some reason I feel like I'm having an abortion. I feel like I'm keeping a baby from being born but that baby doesn't even exist yet. My mind knows that's not what Plan B is... but my heart doesn't seem to listen. I made a mistake, I should fix it... It would be selfish, irresponsible and just plain stupid of me to wait and see if I get pregnant or not... I still feel terrible about it. I guess what I'm asking is... Can anyone help me snap out of it?


baby_maybe - April 24

no worries plan b would be the better choice!! you shouldn't feel guilty you already have a child and 2 would make life alot more crazy at the teen level! There is no way that you can relate this to an abortion because the sperm hasn't even hit the egg so no worries on that part. Don't worry...you shouldn't feel guilty specially since you have a child already and are a loving and amazing mother you took a chance then and you are doing great. Don't worry yourself cuz you will be fine :) plan B is just not plan A lol not having s_x thats all! hope this helpss!!


Grandpa Viv - April 24

Plan B is made of the same chemicals as birth control pills - let go of the concern. You probably should be on the pill as well as using condoms too. On the pill, you could perhaps forget the condom in the last week of your cycle. Good luck!


amanda17 - April 24

Like I said, I know what Plan B does... I know it's just preventing pregnancy but I still feel c___ppy about it. I've already taken the first pill so it's pretty much done now. I still don't feel right about it... When I took it I got that feeling like I was doing something wrong. Viv- hee, I know I should be on birth control. Unfortunately I've been on the pill before and sucked at taking it every day, even with a reminder on my cell phone. I want to be on Mirena but my first doctor wouldn't give it to me and now I don't have insurance so I can't afford it.... or any other type of birth control unless I get it free.


just a teen - April 24

The day after I had s_x for the first time I saw my doctor and she gave me the "morning after" pills. Even though I used a condom I still took it to be on the safe side then I stayed on the pill after. Chances are you didn't get pregnant right? and its not an abortion cuz the baby is exactly...well planted in your uterus yet the morning after pill just makes sure the sperm doesn't meet with the egg. So your not doing anything wrong, don't think of it as an abortion. I hope you get over your worries! :D


amanda17 - April 24

Chances are pretty high that I would have gotten pregnant. I'm very, very fertile, I had s_x around ovulation and he didn't pull out in time. I'd say I'd almost positively have gotten pregnant. And I really don't need another person explaining to me that taking Plan B isn't like having an abortion... I GET IT. I know! It's PREVENTING pregnancy, not TERMINATING it. I'm not ignorant about what it is or what it does... so explaining it to me does no help at all. Excuse me, but I'm frustrated because I am genuinely hurt by it... I don't want facts I want someone to relate to me. I want someone to say "I know why you're upset and it's normal to feel that way." I don't want to be told "well it isn't an abortion so you have nothing to feel bad about." Because that's all anyone has been telling me all freaking day. I KNOW DAMNIT! *sigh* Forgive me. I know everyone is just trying to help... I'm just frustrated that no one is.


socurbaby7 - April 26

it seems like your upset because deep down you kinda of wanted (and i say that loosley) this little mishap to happen... i mean this subconciously.. and then you came to your senses and did the right thing.... but even loosing the potential of having a child can hurt... like when someone thinks they are pregnant.. they miss their period for two months and then it jus comes again... it's a let down because the potential for life is gone... don't worry about it... life goes on and it's for the best


V9653 - April 27

Oh babe. See this is why I don't like plan B. See there is an emotional difference between prevention and stopping what has already been set in motion. In a way it is emotionally aborting a baby that may have been meant to be here. I don't mean that in a judgemental or even scientific way-I have this feeling that you are kind of like me. I sooo long for another baby and have to fight the temptation to stick my foot out there for an "oops...now let's just hope for the best," type moment. Dude, everytime I get my period I think about how that cycle could have been such a wonderful child and I'll never know. You seem like such a deep thinker and so moved by the experience of becoming a mother, and I think with Ellie heading towards 1, this is a hard time to think about stopping a ball rolling that could lead to another child that is as wonderful as her, and maybe even makes you wonder if you are toying with fate or god's plan. Am I off here? If I'm not, then it's not stupid, and it'd not way off base or anything. You have to realize that natural mother and mating instincts are at work, and we have toyed so much with nature, with birth control and morning after pills and all kinds of weird stuff to stop what we have experienced as a miracle that required perfect time perfect place, right egg, right sperm, etc. Now I'm not against these methods because this world needs some population control and not everyone should have to have a baby when they aren't ready but at the same time we are going against natural things in us, and to me, the Plan B pill affects me worse than just being on birth control. Hell I'm the person who adopted the philosophy-if I have to worry about using a condom, I don't need to have s_x. And for those out there who may think I'm sending an unsafe message, really I've never really had much of a s_x life! If I have to worry about things like disease and pregnancy then obviously deep down I don't want to take a chance with that person, so I'm not going to. If the guy feels that way, then I'm not going to share something that special with someone who is already showing signs that he might bail if something did happen! Sorry I'm tired and rambling. Amanda, the only thing that helps me snap out of that baby longing and questioning stuff is to really weigh the real situation I"d be in if I had another baby. Ask yourself if you'd be taking choices away from Harold. Ask yourself where you and Ellie would be if you had another baby. Think about all the progress you've made so far just trying to fight through finishing school, raising Ellie and getting a job. NOw I don't know, maybe you are in a place in all of these categories where it'd be a huge change but not negative...then okay...having s_x during ovulation doesn't guarantee pregnancy....but if it happens whatever. IF not then maybe you shouldn't chance it and make things harder on your family. But really it all is about following your heart on these matters, and I'm here for you on whatever you feel, cuz it's not weird and I understand the dilemma. Oh and I don't know if you and Harold changed your plan to wait a bunch of years before another, but maybe it'd be less of a pain on you if you guys got a more open-ended goal. Like for example, plan to revisit the topic every six months, or tying it to one achievement like saying you guys will be more open to an oops or trying when you have a place and have been financially making it for 6 months or a year. No time is going to be perfect, and setting it off like 5 years or whatever you guys did makes you antsy! You really might find it'd help to rethink that.


Floricica - April 27

I wouldn't worry about taking PlanB, You are just creating a period I think. It's not abortion. AND as for mother natures comments, Yes it is mother's nature to do things a certain way, but people were also put here with the brain that came up with all the science. If we were not meant to have birthcontrol then it wouldnt be there.


amanda17 - April 27

Thanks girls. Finally people are starting to get it... and then explain it to me! Haha, cuz I didn't even get why I was so upset. I guess losing potential baby can be hurtful too. Anyway I'm feeling okay about it now. It's all done with so, best I can do is put it out of my mind and concentrate on Ellie and Harold.


The Nightmare - May 1

Wow there's no need to be so rude to people just trying to comfort you. You said "But for some reason I feel like I'm having an abortion", she said it's not, so you bite her head off? Don't care you are frustrated, thats no excuse for being rude and ignorant to those taking time to try and comfort you for something which you have brought upon yourself. YOU had the stupid idea of having s_x without a condom, deal with it. Perhaps you should practice what you preach so often, get a life and stop thinking about breeding all the time.


V9653 - May 6

Babe, just ignore random people popping in with that c___p, seriously! I know once you wrote that comment I knew exactly what you needed. I mean come on! Most people come on here and ask, could I be pregnant or what are the chances of me being pregnant? Questions that can't really be answered, but we've all been there. Where you have that gut feeling and you can't get answers until that missed period, so you almost need that emotional support. That's why I wrote what I did. As for Floricica's comment, I didn't mean it as a jab against science. I just meant that when you are sitting at that crossroads of should I take the plan b or not, then that guilty feeling comes from a place where you are thinking about things like..."oh if I let mother nature take it's course then there could have been a little baby." That's why I hate plan b. It's too after the fact and it makes your brain go CRAZY with those kinds of thoughts. I'm totally not against birth control, or science, and I hope ya'll get the point I was trying to make.


amanda17 - May 6

Mreh she didn't upset me or anything so I didn't feel the need to ignore her. I'm okay with myself taking Plan B now. Actually I think my baby fever seems to be wearing off. Yesterday, when I sat and thought about it... I'm not sure if I want another child, ever. I'd rather concentrate on Ellie, grow with her, give her the attention she needs. Once I'm on my feet, I'll be working full time and not getting very much time with her. It kills me to think that what little time I will have with her may be cut down even lower by another child. When you think about it... children take so much love, support, time, patience, care, etc etc. There just aren't enough hours in the day to have more than one. There may not even be enough hours in the day to have one hahaha.


KaityBear - May 7

I know you probably hate me now, but, i have tried this birth control method, i got it for free, its the shot, you get it right in the but cheek! lol, it doesnt hurt at all, but man it works! it works for 3months, and all you have to do is go back every 3 months and get aniher one. which, i didnt do...


amanda17 - May 7

Don't be silly, I don't hate you at all-- Where'd you get the shot free? Planned Parenthood? I thought they gave it to you in the arm?


V9653 - May 8

Amanda, the baby fever kind of comes and goes, so I'm warning you now! With my son the ache started wearing away because of my relationship situation, then because I realized that it really would take away from enjoying the good years with my son. Oh but he's 2 now and it's back in a way, but it's a little more controllable, and easier to reason through.


amanda17 - May 8

Don't jinx it V!! lol



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