Help Me I Am 13

29 Replies
itsstori8 - August 6

i am 13 years old and i am 3 months pregnant. I found out about a month ago. I am really scared. I havn't told my parents yet. The thing is i go to Catholic School and i dont know what to do. I am not really showing but i don't know. My parents think i am just getting fat. I have been eating a lot of different types of food too. The father of the baby doesn't know. I was at a highschool party that my friends and i got into. I didn't think any of this was going to happen at the time. I was hanging out with my friends and then this guy came up to me he is 16 and asked me to dance. I did then he asked me if i wanted a drink i took it not knowing it had alcohol neigther did he if thats what you were thinking. One thing let to another and here i am. My friends took me to the doctor and that is how i found out. I am really scared! I dont know how my parents and my family are going to react. I have 3 really over protective brothers too so that doesn't help. I need some people to tell me what they have been through if you have been through this same situation please tell me. I need some help and opinions. what should i do? HELP!


V9653 - August 6

Well first of all you have to try to understand different reactions. It's different for a lot of the girls on here because not many were 13 years old, so though there might have been disappointment or anger int heir parents, their parents either knew they wouldn't have to be responsible or knew that their daughter was going to be moving on in a year or two. So first thing to consider. When you tell your parents they have to deal with the initial shock of you having s_x. The way they are going to look at it is that their little virginal baby has been violated-some guy using her and not respecting her. Our parents want us to be respected and way older when we have s_x. Then on top of that they have to deal with the fact that your whole life is going to change and there's nothing they can do to protect you from it. If you have an abortion you'll never be completely the same, if you put the baby up for adoption you'll never be the same, and if you have it you'll definitely never be the same-whatever is left of your innocence will be gone. That's a lot for a parent to deal with. Then on top of that your parents are going to have so many questions they can't think straight, they're gonna feel overwhelmed by the idea of trying to navigate you through pregnancy and raising a child. then on the selfish side they are going to feel angry that your irresponsibility is going to be loaded on them. They are going to have to figure out how to get you through at least another 5 years of school, and working, and make sure you take care of a child. FIVE YEARS!!! So tell them, and try to understand their reaction, don't get p__sed off, and try not to take it personally because some cruel words may fly around and depending on how your parents are, things may not be the same between you for a little while. That's them trying to deal with their own anger, and not knowing how to deal with this new version of you-not the innocent 13 yearold-now a s_xually active pregnant woman who will soon be someone's mother. Over time it'll all work out. If you are really worried you should go to a local clinic that has counselors and talk to them, or get your parents to go with you to the doctor for them to tell your parents. Only you know your parents and can guess the best way to expose this to this life-changing news, but what's really important is that you are only 13, though you may hang with older people and think you're more mature than most, you really don't have the tools to keep dealing with this alone-you need guidance from an adult. Good luck.


Teddyfinch - August 6

i thought when you are under aged, your parents have to be contacted. and how could you not know there was alcohol in your drink? it doesn't exactly taste like pepsi. sorry, kiddo, i can't help you but i'm sure some other ladies will have good advice for you.


itsstori8 - August 6

well tomorrow i am going to tell my parents after i babysit my cousin i am going to make them dinner and tell them. i told my aunt and she was the one who took me to the doctor. i can trust her with everything and she said she would be there for me. and for the alcohol part again it wasnt my fault it was spiked!


amanda17 - August 6

Hm. 13, eh? That's pretty young. I was 14 when I lost my virginity though so I can't say much to you. Anyway I'm 17 now and I have a 9 week old daughter. What exactly did you wanna know? I got pregnant on my 17th birthday. I told my parents who were, needless to say, furious with me. My mom got over it and eventually became happy for me, my dad is still an a__ssssss about it though. I took forever to tell everyone because I was so scared to. Everything turned out okay in the end though. I wouldn't say most people are really "happy" for me but they leave me alone which is all I ask for. Basically not with my newborn my days consist of the same thing. Wake up at 3am, feed her, burp her, go back to bed at 4. Wake up at 5 or 6am. Feed her, burp her, probably change her and start the laundry (I have to do her laundry EVERY day), and if she lets me I'll have breakfast. If not I grab a cereal bar and eat with one hand while rocking her in the other. When she sleeps, which is pretty often, I make time to clean the house, clean up her room, do my homework (I go to an independent study so I only go to school once a week for like 15 minutes), grab something to eat, maybe go online (I keep my computer on at all times which is why it seems like I'm on a lot. The second someone is holding her or she's sleeping... OMG PREGNANCY INFO I HAVE TO RANT ABOUT SOMETHING! Hahaha. My daughter has acid reflux so her naps probably last about an hour and it's pretty rare for her to be awake and not crying and/or eating. Thinking about going out with friends or even to a sit down restaurant? Forget it. The only time I ever leave the house is to take her to her doctor's appointments or buy groceries. Her or her monitor are never more than three feet away from me. If my friends want to see her/me, fine but that basically consists of them sitting on my couch, staring at her sleeping while I run back and forth trying to get my chores done. Then at about 7:30 it's time for her bath, get her dressed and put her to bed. She usually goes to sleep at about 10ish... if I'm lucky, that is. Also lately I've been changing like 4-5 poopy diapers a day I don't even know if that's normal or not because at first it was just one every other day... I hope it's just because she's eating better. Your average baby will probably eat every 3 hours, need a diaper change like 10 times a day, and will have 2-3 hours of play time. The rest of it is sleep. However, I don't know anyone lucky enough to have your "average" baby. So, it's hard. It's really hard. It's incredibly hard. I haven't even looked at my hair since she was born lol. But, it's rewarding. It's worth it. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


amanda17 - August 6

Oh and that's just the first 9 weeks so far. My nephew is 10 months and a little demon. I dread the day she learns to walk, seriously hahaha


Grandpa Viv - August 6

Good luck telling the parents. It can be hard - maybe you can have the aunt be there to help. Maybe you can rehearse a little intro, like after that dinner, say "Can you believe how much weight I have gained lately?" My guess is that you are just going to screw up your courage and blurt it out. Be brave. We are with you!


amanda17 - August 6

When I told my dad I wrote it down in a note. It gets the message across, gave me time to think about what I wanted to say, didn't let my nerves get the best of me, and gave me the chance to stand by the door incase I needed to run for my life hahaah


V9653 - August 7

LOL!!! Dad's are the worst!!! My dad moved out of state and I was sooo scared to tell him though I was friggin 20 years old and had been living on my own for a year and a half!!! I called him up at a totally awkward hour just knowing I'd get his voicemail and I could leave the info there, tell him to take a day or two to think about things and calm down and then call me and talk about it. Well I called and he answered-ahhhh-I still just told him to hang up the phone and I'd call back but told him not to answer so I could leave a message. Oh it was not pretty at all. After that initial conversation after he got that message he talked it all out but wouldn't mention the pregnancy AT ALL, he wouldn't even let me mention it. Dude, I called him from the hospital and he just wanted to know the basics and that was it. It took a week for him to even want to know my son's name. He now LOVES my son, thank god. It's weird how parents go through their stuff and even will still go through it by having separate relationships with you and your child. Like my dad and my brother love me, and they love my son separately for just who he is to them, but us together as mother and son-it's like they don't even want to think about it!!! It's weird I don't even know if that made sense.


angelmonkey - August 7

you said your friends took you to the doctor? and now your aunt?


lunamoo - August 7

Thought the same thing anglemonkey, but alas.... she is in a Catholic school with Catholic so of course they will forgive her and not make her feel guilty and support her 100%. She doesn't take the blame for drinking alcohol cuz it was spiked...but what was her reason for having s_x...? And did they do it under the bleachers!?!?!?


lunamoo - August 7

Meant to say "Catholic parents"


amanda17 - August 7

Hahaha. My dad didn't come to the hospital either. He calls me all the time and leaves me voicemails because I don't answer. But one time out of pure habit I answered the phone (I forgot to check the caller ID) he was like "I just wanted to let you know. I love your baby more than I love you." And I was like "Really Dad? What's her name?" He got quiet and then got mad and started screaming "Why does it matter what her name is?!! I love her okay?!?!" My dad is sooooo dumb hahaha.


V9653 - August 8

Wow!!! My dad isn't hurtful about it, I have to say I'm blessed for that. My dad is really a wonderful guy, it's just that I'm the baby of the family and he just can't deal with what's going on. Also he caught a whiff of what was going on from some of the phone conversations we had, where I asked kind of vague questions about things and he could just tell that I was in a bad situation and something bad had happened. When I told him I was pregnant I try to play it off like I had been dating the guy and we were stupid (that's weird because some girls usually do the opposite) it was then that he figured what had happened. He actually had met my son's father at my sis' house and he TOLD me to stay away from him. He said he had crazy eyes and he looked at me and my sister funny. I should have listened to his warning cuz i thought the guy was harmless. I know that his att_tude was more him wanting to be in denial and I understand. He is like the ideal protective man. He has been protective of us girls from day one and succeeded but now he has a bad heart, is way in another state and this happens to his baby girl, it was too much for him to deal with. He didn't want to embarra__s me by saying he knew what actually happened, and he didn't know what to do. He actually ended up getting really sick a month after I told him and ended up in the hospital for awhile a month after that. Maybe your dad is hurt and doesn't know how to express it and is just lashing out right now. My dad has done that a couple of times even though we are so close, but some men just don't know how to talk out their feelings, so they end up trying to be brave and chicken out at the last minute by saying something mean-usually it ends up sounding completely childish!!! LOL!!!


amanda17 - August 8

Ah, well your dad seems like a good guy regardless. I know my dad is hurt... I just can't force myself to care for him. I mean I try to care, because I feel like I should, but it's amazing how much I just don't. I guess it's understandable, he's been treating me and my entire family like c___p since before I can remember. He always tried to take everything that made me happy away from me and this is no exception. I can't have sympathy for someone who acted so heartless toward me, I was and am a good kid I think I should get credit for it. The other day my sister called and said 'your dog is dying, he's coughing a lot' I thought she said 'your dad is dying' and I felt really... uncaring. My first thought was 'I hope they don't expect me to attend the funeral' it sounds really cold-hearted of me but I can't help it. When she clarified that she said 'dog' I cried for like 20 minutes and took him to the vet.


grow_up - August 8

nobody noticed in the middle of her name and she speaks like she's telling a simple tale.


amanda17 - August 9

I thought it was supposed to be "itss tori" but... yeah I guess sooooooo.



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