I Am In Need Of Help

8 Replies
LoveMyAngel - October 2

Alright to put a very long boring story short - I left my husband a long time ago, we are still in the middle of a sticky divorce, I was stupid and married too young for the sake of our child, and I have been with another man for awhile now, I am pregnant, I told my friend, she told my ex and now he is going to try to get full custody!!! I don't know what to do anymore. :( And he was abusive, so what am I suppsoed to do? He will get me alone and my fiance and I worry he will try to abuse me and make me miscarry this child!!


KaseyA - October 2

Well who is the father? Do you mean get full custody of your child with her ex? I don't think anyone on here can help with something like that.


sa__sychick - October 2

If you’re scared of your ex get a restraining order to keep him away from you. Have you done anything to make the courts think you are unfit and would award him full custody? If not then I don't think any judge would grant him full custody because you’re pregnant by another man, you did say that you left a long time ago and are going through a divorce. Did your ex know about your involvement with this other man before he found out about your current pregnancy? And why the heck did your friend tell your ex in the first place.....what kind of friend does that?


LoveMyAngel - October 2

Firstly, the father of my daughter is my nearly ex husband (we will be divorced within the month). I have never done anything to make anyone thing I am an unfit mother, she is the happiest baby, gets fed, diapers everything. The only thing is that I spent 50k in one year, but that wouldn't make them take her away from me because I work and i take care of her, and I am on my own. My ex knew I was with this other man long before I found out that I was pregnant, the man I am dating and I have been together for awhile now. And I don't know why my friend told him, which is why we are no longer friends. I can't issue a restraining order because that would be keeping him from seeing his child which is not legal since we have agreed on custody where he sees her every wesnday and every other weekend. I feel threatened, because he is coming home on Sunday and my family is letting him stay with us and I don't know what to do. I fear that he will abuse me, and my fiance does too. We want this baby and are doing well for ourselves...


sarah21 - October 2

You need to get a restraining order. If he tries to get full custody he will probably be denied because the courts usually side with the mother in less you have been doing more than you let on, such as drugs or other illegal activities. If your ex abuses you, get a police report, doc_ment it, maybe even have video cameras set up to catch it, and he will probably never see your child again, let alone get custody.


kay101 - October 2

You say you agreed on custody, was this done in court? Or was your agreement approved by a judge? If you have officially gone to court to establish custody, I would go down to the court house tomorrow and file ASAP. How long have the two of you been seperated? Also, who was the primary caregiver to your daughter when the two of you lived together? Basically who gave her baths, made her meals, took her to school, birthday parties, to the park, things like that. As long as she is living with you now, it is highly unlikely he will get custody. What is going to happen is the two of you are going to "share" joint custody. Joint custody now a days really means one parent has sole physical custody (which would be you) where the child lives with that parent, and the other parent basically has a visitation schedule. Maybe on the weekends, certain nights a week, or certain holidays. The fact you have a new boyfriend and are pregnant does not reflect negatively on you. If he were an alcoholic, drug abuser, pedophile, etc. and he lived with you, it would look like a bad environment for the child but I doubt that's the case :) He basically has to prove you unfit to care for your daughter, which I see now reason he could. You said you are on your own and taking care of yourself and child so everything is in your favor. File for child support while you're there too :)


kay101 - October 2

I mean to say if you HAVEN"T officially filed for custody and visitation.


sara b - October 3

Okay, I'm going to a__sume your from the US. First off you can get what is called a PFA or Protection From Abuse. All it says is he can't contact you, hara__s you, abuse you, or stalk you. The judge will set up a custody agreement when the PFA hearing is held. You would have some agreement that says that he can only contact you concerning the pick up or drop off of your daughter on days when he has his visits. Any other contact would be illegal and cause him to be arrested. Secondly, getting pregnant by another man should not affect your custody of your daughter. If she lives with you and you care for her then you have what is called factual custody. That means a judge is highly unlikely to take her away from you and grant him custody unless you are out sleeping around with several men, doing drugs, or doing something else that endangers the child. Good luck.


Crayy - October 10

if its not his kid there isnt a way fot him to get custody right? Plus if he was abusive they'll look into that and wont let him get the baby! =]



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