I Think Im Pregnant By X Boyfriend

12 Replies
bkat - October 20

im 18 years old... i have recently been in a serious relationship with this guy. we broke up about a month ago. to make a long story short, i cant get a hold of him to let him know that there is a strong possibility that i am pregnant. i dont know what to do..if i am this will ruin college and everything... i dont believe in abortion and i know im an adult but i cant do this alone.


bkat - October 20

any advice would be helpful. i work constantly and want to be a nurse and this would sure put all my goals on the back burner. i gues my real question should be what would my legal options be? i dont think we will get back together


Daile - October 20

Okay, first of all, it won't "ruin" your life to have a baby. It will make college harder, but you'll still be able to do it if you work hard. Most schools own apartments on or around campus, and some even have special dorms for parents/married couples to live in. This would give you somewhere to live, and the school would also probably be able to give you a workstudy job so you'll have money. Legally speaking, if you are against abortion, you have to options: keep the baby, or make an adoption plan. If you keep the baby, you can take your ex to court for child support. He would probably demand a paternity test, but that's no big deal. Then he will have to make monthly payments. If he fails to do so, the court can order them to be garnished from his check (taken out before he gets it), and if he reaches the 5,000 dollar mark of missed payments he can have his license suspended or be sent to jail. If you decide to do an adoption, you will need to speak to an adoption agency. My advice would be to go through the better business place to make sure you find one that is credible. Then you can decide if you want an open or closed adoption, and they will show you profiles of the families that are looking for that type of adoption. Most places set it up so that you don't actually sign over your parental rights until after the baby is born, so that you still have the option of changing your mind after labor. However, if you have money problems then you could sign your rights over to a couple while your pregnant, and many of them will then cover your doctor's bills, and some will even provide you with somewhere to stay while pregnant.


Jet - October 20

Maybe you should find out if you are pregnant before you worry about all this? You may be worrying for nothing.


me - October 20

you need to do EVERYTHING you can to get to this guy. so what if you ruin things for you. you didn't f yourself and wind up pregnant did you?


bkat - October 20

im almost sure that im pregnant...im just scared because he wont return my calls and there is no way for me to even find him. we broke up because hes unstable. ive missed a period and that has never happened before. i know its not from stress because i didnt start stressing until after i missed my period. i really loved him but i cant be with someone that i cant trust or even get in contact with. thanks for all of your help...when i find out for sure...i will definately keep the baby and try to continue nursing school. i just needed to know my legal options. thanks


K - October 21

Don't nail the poor guy for child support, I can't stand it when women do that. If you're so into keeping this kid, do it on your own, leave him alone. Otherwise get an abortion (I know you're pro-life and all, but believe me, it'll make your life very easy) or give it up for adoption. You're so young, just move on with your life. A baby WILL ruin your life and your goals will slip away.


Daile - October 22

K, first of all, he helped make that baby, so whether he wants it or not, he should have to help take care of it. Secondly, having a baby will not ruin your life. My sister had her first son at fifteen. It was hard on her, but she graduated highschool on time. She started college before getting married and having her second son at 19, but had to stop for awhile because he had medical problems. She is now going back to get a pharmaceutical degree. She is very happy with her life, and it is by no means ruined.


Viv - October 22

bkat, do you think you may be a compulsive caregiver? You want to be a nurse. You "really love" a guy whom you say is unstable. Were you hoping to fix him? What relationship in your childhood makes you feel this is the right way to go? Please take a time out to examine your own personality and motivations as you embark on the next phase of your life. We have our fingers crossed for you - the stress may be from the break-up - if you don'y have early pregnancy symptoms other than a missed period there's still reason to hope you are not. Take a test, it's not too soon.


bkat - October 24

viv you are right...about somethings... i constantly spend time worrying about everyone around me. my x needed care because he came from a bad family and i thought if i showed him care that he would change.i have a wonderful family and my parents taught me to do unto others. i talked to my x today and i just asked him what would he think if i was pregnant. he said he wouldnt leave me high and dry and he would hope that we could work things out and raise a baby together. i havent told him anything yet about my feeling that i am pregnant because i am waiting on results of a blood test. i researched a lot and a missed period could be a lot of things. so hopefully this will be just a learning expirience for me, not something that will change my life forever. thank you everyone


tiff - October 28

i am in the same boat but i am 16 and my bf and i just broke up and i believe i am now pregant but he has a new girlfriend and i dont know what to say to him


Jennie.P - November 1

If you were in a "serious" relationship with the guy, then maybe it can be worked on. Tell him about the baby and try for it. TRUST ME, it's much easier with a mom and a dad then it is by yourself.


Jennie.P - November 1

BTW it WON'T ruin your life, it just may be a little harder then you thought it might be (I'm 19 and pregnant, but I got pregnant at 18)



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