Long Story But I Really Need Help And Support

8 Replies
Mommiex20803 - October 25

Alright well i already posted something similiar on the postpartum forum but i got no responses...so i figured id try somewhere else...well heres my story...please dont judge me...i love my life just right now im feeling really down....alright well i am 19 years old right now and im happily married to my husband who is also 19....i have two children (both boys)...my first is 3 years old and my second is 3 months old....i have been through a lot and i can proudly say i have overcome all of it...like when my first was born (i was only 16) of course me and my now hubby (boyfriend at that time)...were not living together and we both were still in high school....and we told our parents about me being pregnant and his parents were 'disappointed' but not mad they were very supportive....but of course my mom freaked and prevented me from seeing and/or talking to my boyfriend...which made everything worse but me and him made it through it....and soon things eased up which was great...some tensions were there but other than that life was okay...we both finished high school (im proud to say i graduated! with my class!) and two months after graduation we got married which i was so happy...(which was in august) and around november...i found out i was pregnant with my 2nd child (by then i was already 18 1/2)...anyways i told everybody and at that point things werent as bad as the first time around...granted a lot more people were disappointed but not that raging mad we experienced the first time...anyways things were good and i moved into my husband's house (we still live with his mother only until he joins the air force this spring)...but his mother who seemed to be great at first...turned really evil...she would say things like "what kind of mom are you?.." she would ask my 2 year old "isnt your mom going to do that? she NEEDS to start being a mother" (which i was extremely mad about that one..i do everything for my kids..they are my life!)...anyways im not gripping only about her so i'll move on....well lets start on my mother...she doesnt drive (she's older....personal reasons on why she doesnt drive)...so pretty much even though i live 20 mins. away from her...in the same county...i drive there almost everyday to do something for her whether to let her be with her grandkids...or take her to do some errands...i dont mind being nice and all but i dont want to feel taken advantage of....which is how i feel now...my sister who is living with my mom is perfectly able to drive and drive my mom anywhere she needs to go...but she rarely does and when she does she complains....so since i dont complain my mom turns to me....(now my mom does sometimes pays for gas...*keyword sometimes*....which is a big stress for me and the hubby...gas is expensive! im sure all of you know that!...and she has bought me and my kids clothes and stuff like that so its not like she is completely taking everything and not giving)...anyways so since my sister wont mom always asks me and recently i got mast_tis which made me have the body aches from h__l...and a fever of 102.9...it was hard for me to even sit up barely drive anywhere...but since my mom needs to get her car inspected and get an oil change by the end of this month...i got sh*t on because i said i didnt feel well...she was like oh so now you feel sick and wont be able to take me?! i see how it is...i always help you...blah blah blah...UGH! it bothers me...i dont know what to do to make her understand i have my life and i have stuff i have to do...anyways now my husband he is very great...has always been there for me and the kids...he is joining the air force for us (so we can get out of here and get on our own)...i just feel bad because lately ive been feeling down so after he works from 9 to 5 i usually put the kids on him so i can just lay down (i just dont even feel like being up...i honestly wonder if its postpartum depression)...anyways he usually does and im grateful but i dont know how to help him out with his stresses...i mean as of right now he is the only one employed...and he never complains, he doesnt really want me to have to work...but of course since i have to take my mom everywhere (which the gas is only from our house to hers...about 15 miles there...and 15 miles back 5-7 days a week)...(i know ridiculus..i just dont know how to stop it...oh and the little minor detail is that she also does help watch my kids so i can do my own errands or if i need a break...i honestly would rather travel that much than stay here and be with his mother ugh! me and her clash (sp) too much...and i have tried to get him to live at my moms house but that isnt gonna work..) anyways he is stressed about bills and hates his current job but isnt going to quit because its not a bad paying job (at least for retail)...and i mean i even thought about getting a job to ease some of that stress but the problem is...i most likely will need childcare but we dont have that kind of money to spend on it for two kids and i know my mom wont watch both boys everyday...neither will his mom...and there really isnt anyone else...anyways and now my kids...i love both of my beautiful boys...they are MY life! but sometimes i feel as if i have failed them...like my three year old is very "busy" for his age...always has been...and i see all these other moms (whether it be teen moms or not)...and very very few act like how my son acts...now he isnt off the wall insane but sometimes he just doesnt listen...i just need to know im not 'failing' him ...i would just die...anyways now my 3 month old...he is great...a true mama's boy...i almost lost him when i was 10 weeks pregnant (i was on 2 weeks of bedrest due to a threatened miscarriage)...and i honestly think he is my mircale baby....anyways sometimes i wonder if he has colic or if he is just getting spoiled...i cant tell the difference...but sometimes i feel like i dont want to be around my kids....like i want nothing to do with them at all!...and this feeling scares me because i never ever felt this way when i had my first son...even through all the c__p i went through....alright well i dont know what else to say...i just feel really down...lately i havent been eating that much...i barely want to get out of bed...i get so stressed out because whoever is holding my 3 month old...if he starts crying (which is quite a lot..not hours start but random bursts)...they pass him off to me no matter what im doing...which means i dont get to spend much time with my 3 year old which kills me (you can get some of the story from my post on the postpartum page...its under "i think i have ppd..please comment" or something like that lol)...but anyways i cry a lot even over stupid stuff....im constantly having bad dreams....ugh! and like i said some days i dont even want to be around my kids...and even some days i dont even want to be here anymore :( well anyways im all done now...i would greatly appriciate comments...opinions...stories whatever...anything will help...thanks and please no rude comments..

 

tish212 - October 25

sweetheart- honestly it does sound like ppd... and ur entire situation isnt helping....I have no idea what to say...its horrible that u r dealing with all of that. first off...u need to put his mother in her place...u r ur childrens mother... and she has NO right to say those things to u OR in front of ur kids....that is very immature of her. also it does sound like ur mom AND sister are taking advantage of u... ur sister can help out...besides she is living with ur mom so she owes ur mom something. but for ur mom to throw a tempertantrum over u no being able to take her here there and everywhere when u r sick... but back to the ppd....u NEED to get some help .... u might need medcation to help u through it but if u just let it be it will only get worse... if u cannot afford to go to the dr u can seek help from social services... they can get u temporary insurance coverage so u can get help... they can also help u with things like wic...and such... I am sorry u r going through this but believe me their is light at the end of the tunnel... u just have to seek help...

 

freebird - October 25

I agree that it sounds like you could have PPD. You should make an appointment to speak with your doctor about it. When your hormones are all out of whack it makes it much harder to deal with the stresses of life. Please speak to someone, it can do wonders.

 

AylaRose - October 25

I am 16 and 4 months pregnant with twins. My boyfriend is in the army .When i was 15 I got pregnant with my daughter Ayla. She pa__sed away when she was 6 months old due to a car accident. Since i am now pregnant my fears are the same as yours.... I feel the same as you. i dont want to have them because i am scared i will fail just like i did with my daughter. I talked to my doctor and i talked with my family and friends. Both said that the chances of you failing is slim, the chances of you losing them is slim. Its a fear its a thought. I would advise you to talk with both family/ friends and your doctor.. it could become serious..... Right now since your boys are your life, You need to do wat is best for you and them. To me that would be getting help. ( i am sorry if that sounds mean, i didnt mean for it to be) best of luck darlin!!!!

 

Mommiex20803 - October 25

Thanks ladies...yeah today didnt go that great...mom pushed me so far i just had a meltdown..now inside i feel 'empty' i guess thats a good way to describe it...but anyways im glad i have my husband (he's honestly the only good support i have going right now)...tonight im gonna try to explain everything that is wrong with me to him..i hope he can understand and understand im not just pretending...anyways...aylarose..im really really sorry to hear that! i dont know what i would do if i had to go through that...but i believe you'll be okay with your twins! and congrats...do you know what the s_x's are?..tish thanks im glad to see that someone can agree with what im thinking...instead of thinking im a b*tch..oh and yeah i have gone to the doctor i told him somewhat about it when i was there for my mast_tis....he gave me some anti-depressant medicine...(paxil i believe)...but im kinda scared to take it...because he said that i'll get really moody within the first week then the second week it should work...and i think you can tell i dont need to get any moodier lol...but once again thanks for posting!

 

AylaRose - October 25

I do know the s_xs of the twins... One is a boy and One is a girl... and thanks so much!!!! I hope everything goes so well for you, good luck!!!!

 

AylaRose - January 18

Its been a while since i have been on here! first my dad breaks my computer and until now they wouldnt let me use their computer!! 2. my boyfriend broke up with me by taking me to the mall with him and making out with this girl he met there and when i had my sister come get me... on the way home we got in a car accident!! 3. I lost my twins.. but all in all i am doing ok! I hope everyone is doing fine with their pregnancies!!!

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - January 18

Wow! All 3 in a car accident? not good...I miscarried twins in November 06...glad to hear you are doinf better...screw your boyfriend

 

AylaRose - January 18

I didnt lose my sister thank god.. She was pregnant too, but her and her baby are doing just fine!!!! i just lost my twins!! Thanks so much!!! How are you doing???

 

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