Manipulative Opinions

13 Replies
AddysMummy - November 21

I don't know what to do. My ex is confusing and he just wont leave me alone. He says he is done with me one day, the next he tries to get me to go out with him and his friends. He is trying to manipulate me, by trying to say he wants to be there for addy, then doesn't talk to me for 10 days. He is talking to my family and they are supporting him because he tells them he is going to take me to counseling and we are getting back together when that never happened! I am so angry with him it is not even funny. Then he goes and says I commited adultry when we were legally seperated. I was like COME ON if that was true, you would have too! In the time I supposedly did all this c__p to him, he was with some idiot, so I don't see how it is any different. He tried to get my friend to go onto his side, but I sat down and talked more in depth with her and she heard him call her names etc. It's like he can not grow up. I try to get him to see his kid, he chooses not to. WHY! I don't understand it. He can go DAYS without seeing Addy, and nothing comes of it. WHY? I asked him a WEEK ago, please call your insurance company and get her a doctor. He IS NOT DOING IT! And I can't call them because it is his policy. He is stressing me out and I don't know what to do with him, what to think. I call him all the time saying hey you should see addy, he makes no effort. I stopped because I wanted him to be her FATHER so i stopped calling him for it, but he has NOT CALLED ME more than ONCE in 2 wks and he saw her once then has not called me back concerning his child, if she is OK or for her doctor :( :( :( Idk I don't know what to do with him. He is manipulative and wont stop his shit!

 

PreciousBaby19 - November 21

i know what hes like hun. I'm sooo sorry. I'm just glad you left him beffore things got out of hand. Hes an idiot. he really is. And he is seriously messing with your mind. I would take him to court and make sure he takes care of his daughter..then i would just leave him be. You can't make him see addy. maybe he will come around but mayube he wont. I hope you get it worked out.

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - November 21

So was he the one who got you pregnant recently? Really, I dont think you should give the guy a chance. He don't deserve you or his daughter. If my husband became like that I would want him to be apart of my daughters life, but at the same time I wouldn't want him to influence her in any way. If he won't make an effort, you shouldn't either, you can't force him...it will just make him worse. You are both better off without hin it seems like

 

tish212 - November 21

nerdy girl is right u should have to mae him...if he doesn't put forth the effort then that's his fault...and if he comes around (for her) then he will feel bad for not trying harder. he doesn't deserve u at all....not acting like that. u should sit down with ur family and explain to them what's really going on and if that doesn't work...try not to stress about it.ur daughter has u and u sound like a wonderful mom so u are all she needs. don't let him drag u back b/c he isn't worthy of u.... gl hugs

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - November 21

Well thats good that you weren't with him...just had to ask, but it seems like your daughter has a father figure in her life anyways

 

AddysMummy - November 21

She does, Jake is in her life and loves her..

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - November 21

Thats always good to hear...I had some guy think my daughter was his...I hadn't even seen him in over a year and when I was 6 months he said she was his...he was a no good guy too. But how stupid can a guy get. I was 6 months pregnant and hadn't seen him in over a year lol he made me laugh.

 

mummy2paris - November 22

Hey, thats a horrible situation to be in but, dont stress over it all too much just think your daughter has you and your partner who love and care for her. If her "father" wont make the effort is he really worthy to be apart of her precious life?? As for the doctor can u get her changed on to some one else's thats more trusting?? I hope i helped good luck dont let that guy get you down all you can do is be the mature person and dont stoop to his level he obviously cant see he is the one loosing out here!!!

 

AddysMummy - November 22

Thanks, it is a difficult situation because when he and I were together it was all good, but then I left him and suddenly he wants nothing to do with her? I need to change her insurance..

 

durante baby - November 22

Okay putting all of our differences aside for a sec please! Your daughter has you....Your daughter has jake....I have never doubted for any second that you are a unfit mother. From what I hear and see on your myspace you are a great mom...You are perfectly capable of being a single mom (with or without your ex or Jake) I wouldnt push your ex to be the father he doesnt want to be. it could seriously cause more problems. If he really did use to beat you and your daughter, I wouldnt let my kids anywhere near him, but I dont know the whole situation. I just know that if he did, and has no desire to be a responsible parent. It could cause it to god forbid happen again. You dont need him! You can do it on your own. You basically already have been. The tension between you and your ex, isnt good for you and your daughter.

 

AddysMummy - November 22

DB I appreciate you putting the BS between the both of us aside. I am trying hard to get him involved in her life, he is a little different now I don't see the same anger issues, but still I don't get why he will not come around often. He comes every now and then when HE feels like it. Like every 10 days, or something. I don't know, it's upsetting. I love her to death, and Jake loves her, he said even if things don't work out between us he would like to see Addy often.

 

durante baby - November 22

Do you think it is posible he is just saying he wants to try harder with Addy so he can get closer to you again? Long story short...My niece hasd been rasied by everyone but my sister..my sister is a great person, just never meant to be a mom I guess. I started raising her at the age of fourteen, then handed her over to her dad, right before I gave birth to my first son. We have all tried so hard to get her involved with her daughter, but all the drama just seemed to put stress on my niece. So we all stopped trying to force it. Now, my sister still Isnt much of a mom, but from time to time she will ask to get her daughter for a weekend, and she is allowed to have her with no problems, but my niece is alot happier without being felt like she is getting pushed on someone who doesnt want her...Mabey your best just to stop trying so hard....Your ex is the one who should be trying.

 

AddysMummy - November 22

I just decided to stop calling him and told him that if he wants to see her he will call me. It didn't work that well seeing as he has not called or texted me in awhile, but he saw her for 10 minutes today, and thinks it is ok. IDK. It upsets me, but like Jakes mother says, who cares if he is not in her life because she has Jake, HAS since she was 4 months old. I just don't know why he wont be in her life because she is the most amazing baby in the world. My mom did that to me and my sister, left us to be raised by my grandma, who did OK but my mom needed to be a mom, instead she tried to be a friend, still does. She has not paid me back fully, doesn't really care about anyone but herself, never really has.

 

PreciousBaby19 - November 23

Its alwasy going to be upsetting to the child that her real dad didnt want to spend time with her. And i'm starting to think that he was just using her as a way to get back with you. Since he knows its not possible you can see how he really cares about his daughter. I have no doubt he loves her but hes going back to iraq soon and yet he doesn't want to spend time with her. There could be other reasons too like maybe he doesn't wanna get too attached just to have to go back to iraq nd not see her. Sure jake is in her life and thats some sort of a father figure but when shes older she will be upset that her daddy wasn't around. Its something your going to have to explain to her when shes older. She will always love him as dad...but right now..shes just to young to understand. I hope he comes to his senses because once the damage is done and addy grows up without him around then there is going to be more conseqences for him that you an her. shesgot jake and that will provide the love and support she needs for a father figure and i'm sure she loves him to bits. In the end though its a pain thts always going to be with them. A bond that they neveer really got to share. You can't force it...he will realize his mistake. You dont know whats going on in that head of his so you just have to let it be for now. I know its hard cause you want whats best for your daughter butyou can't control someone elses actions.

 

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