Mixed Feelings About This Pregnancy

18 Replies
Laurz - September 25

Hi all I used to come on here well over a year ago when I was pregnant with my daughter. She was born Sept 06. She passed away in the following January :( I've recently found out I'm about 7 wks pregnant despite being on birth control. I'm not sure what to think. I go between desperately longing to have it but being scared to death to have it because of what we've been through. I suppose i just need some people to talk to who will convince me that the likelihood of this happening again is very slim! Thanks girls x


lunamoo - September 25

Laurz, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine to live through such an experience...I am though very happy for your pregnancy! I can imagine the mixed feelings and that is natural, do not try to fight them, try to understand them. May I ask what happened to your daughter..? It is difficult to say what the liklihood of the same tradgedy happening twice without knowing what happened. Have you spoken with your doctor yet....Try to be strong and positive, it sounds like you have been given a wonderful opportunity : )


fayesyoungmum - September 25

oh god hunni i am so so sorry for your loss. i have a little girl who is 4months old and could not imagine what you have been through. i agree with what lunamoo wrote.. it is completely natural to be feeling this way and scared of the same thing happening again but try not to think of the bad things (as hard as it might be) and think of the positives. i wish you loadsa luck xx


ChattyKathy - September 25

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I invite you to join the Pregnancy Loss forum as we definitely understand what you are going through. It is scary, especially after what has happened to your little girl, but I can a__sure you that the chances of this happening to your family again are VERY slim. You just have to take each day one at a time and make an effort to think positively about the situation. I have had two miscarriages, and currently am pregnant with hopefully baby #1. My friend is currently pregnant after a stillbirth. You just get through it somehow and hope for the best. Good luck


Laurz - September 25

Thanks so much girls that means a lot. Kathy I am so sorry you had to go through those miscarriages :( Best of luck with this pregnancy :-D Thank you for the invite, I shall definitely join. My daughter (her name was Aimee Rose) had meningitis (into septicaemia) and even though I always checked her so thoroughly and it was caught quite early and they fought so hard to save her, they couldnt. It was......well words cant even describe it so I wont try. I am soooo happy to be pregnant even though it was totally unplanned, but just totally overcome with worry cos I dont know what the future hold you know? Anyway thanks again, and if anyones got msn, mine is hoot-hoot-hoot at hotmail .co. uk xx


sashasmama - September 25

I'm sorry to ask or to sound "dumb" but are there any vaccinations that you can get to prevent meningitis? I haven't gotten a chance to look it up online, but thought you would know a lot about it. I really don't want to bring up any bad memories. What are some ways to prevent it? I've had two miscarriages in a row in the past 6 months and have an almost 2 year old. So now I'm worried about EVERYTHING concerning my next pregnancy AND my child. I'm driving myself crazy.


Laurz - September 25

Hi sashasmama, its not dumb at all. I'm sorry about your miscarriages :( try not to lose hope ok? There are vaccines for group C meningitis, but not group B (in UK at least) which is what Aimee contracted. The ironic thing is less than 2 weeks before she had her Men C jab :( Try not to be so worried, just find all the info you can get to recognise the signs. She had been "off" all day, sleeping a lot, not feeding, then started getting a rash and crying in the night, so we had her straight to A&E :(


sashasmama - September 25

Oh Laurz, that is the saddest thing in the WORLD. I could not imagine, I'm sure you felt like dying with her, it is terrible. I hope you are doing better, did you have to take any antidepressants? But I think your pregnancy is a blessing. How far along are you? I bet you have mixed feelings about guessing whether it's a boy or a girl. Thank you so much for that info. I need to check out my daughter's immunization chart. I'm planning on doing a research, knowledge is power. And it's so hard to tell you know, because when babies get sick they all sleep a lot (with a fever) and cry and not eat...so many things to worry about. I wish you a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child. Could she have caught it from someone else? I think you know what to do, keep your new baby away from people until they get their vaccinations. I'm sure in a couple of years you'll have a healthy little toddler running around! Good luck and keep me posted, I'm obsessed with being prego, lol. I wish I still was!


Laurz - September 26

Hiya hun thank you :) oh yeah definitely I just wanted to go with her. She may have only been with us a short time but I just couldnt bear to imagine life without her. My fiance Matt was so strong and has pulled me through it all the way, but we still have a cry everyday. Everythings felt so empty. I think we're seeing this new baby as a new hope, something to hang on for, its so great. I'll just always make sure this baby knows she had a gorgeous big sister and she's watching over him/her :) I think I'm just over 7wks now. When will your daughter be 2? I love the name Sasha, my friends little girl is called that :) To be honest ive not done a lot of research on meningitis. Afterwards I just couldnt bear to go through all the symptoms and see what I'd missed. I just kept thinking I should have known and we left it to late and all the what ifs... You can drive yourself crazy thinking what could have or is going to happen. I'm just worried that with this baby I'm going to turn into a health nutter! Are you trying for another baby yet? If so, baby dust!! xx


Zeelful - September 27

Why cant you just be happy that god has decided to give you a second chance at motherhood. Theres no need to be irrational, you jus get on with it and feel blessed you are allowed to have another. Some people wouldnt be able, so just consider it a blessing


Chris1975 - September 27

Are you normally this insensitive Zeeful? Laurz irrational? I highly doubt that. Shes experienced a loss, and any loss of a family member is excrutiatingly painful and hard to deal with, especially one so young and innocent. Losing a child is the most difficult thing that can happen to someone from what ive heard from my relatives (both my grandparents lost children in their prime of life). I can imagine she is scared after her terrible ordeal and memory. Its a scar that will be with her forever im sure, but hopefully get less raw with time. Have a heart. This forum is to support and give women strenth. If the shoe was placed on the other foot, Im sure you would want some support during this emotional time. LAURZ- im truly sorry to hear what happened..i cant imagine how terrifying and worrysome this time much be for you...but us women here will be by your side every step of the way if you need us.


guccigal87 - September 28

laurz im very sorry about that happened to your little girl.. there ared btoh vaccines where i live being menigitis happens a lot here. there are about 4 kids who die a year from it where i am from... i also kinna know what your going through.. ive had two misscarriages... i was told my son would be a miscarriage too, when he was born the nurses took him away for the night which is very wierd here and told me there was too much fouid in his lungs and he could choke and die ... after i got outta the hospital he started breathing funny... turns out his lungs never fully deveploped... he is 8 months now... still doesnt breathe properly but i have learnt to deal with the fact that he is here aftersoo much for a reason.,.. and if he wasnt meant to be here then i will have to get used to it and enjoy what time i do have. sooo i have turned into the most laid back mom .. he eats dirt.. and leaves and he is the happiest baby soo just remember that you are pregnant again for a reason and god forbid something should happen it was meant to


missy046 - September 30

Luarz, May God Bless you and your family. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I don't know you but I sense that you are a truly amazing person. I believe that the Lord does everything for a reason.


Ezzie - October 3

OMG that is so terrible, what an awful thing to happen :( Congratulations on your pregnancy though that must be a ray of light. Its totally natural to feel afraid hun, i know i would and i think any normal human being (not zeelful obviously though-no need for that comment) Good luck hun :) -xEzzie


Laurz - October 9

Thank you girls those posts are so lovely! Im about 9 1/2 weeks now and sickness in full swing :( but ey well. guccigal Im sorry to hear you had to go through miscarriages :( thank god your son is doing good, i bet hes a little cutie! Does anyone have facebook? I'm not sure how to really look for people to be honest but i know you can find them if your emails in their address book, so add me!! my emails in my 2nd post on this thread I think x


AylaRose - October 25

I am really sorry for your loss, i know you probably hear that alot but i know what you are going through. i also lost my daughter she was born august of 06. I am 16 and currently 4 months pregnant with twins. My friends told me that the chances of losing them again was very slim. Each baby is a new person so its hard to say wat each pregnancy brings... * i am so sorry that sounds so mean and really stupid* Just keep a smile on and a positive out look on things and go to people for help when you need it or when u just need to talk.... best of luck darlin!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Laurz - November 5

Thanks AylaRose, I'm so sorry you lost your daughter too :-( No it doesnt sound mean or stupid, its absolutely right, they ARE different people arent they. I suppose its just hard to get your head to understand that when you've lost a child. I get a bit more confident everyday of this pregnancy but apprehension will always be there I guess. Aww congrats on your twins! This is a new beginning for us :-D x



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