My Story

1 Replies
In need of Advice - November 22

I guess it all starts in April, prom was coming soon and although I had graduated early and already lived in my own apartment it was still my Senior prom, and with no one else I could think of I decided to take my exboyfriend of two years. We had only been broken up for a few weeks, and still had feelings for one another, so instead of just going to prom together we got back together. A couple weeks after prom we started having s_x again, throughout our two year relationship many condoms had broken on us, but I was always on the shot so it was no worries considering we were eachothers firsts anyways. When we broke up I had decided to get off the shot, it was making me have weird periods and I didn't like it. So anyways another condom broke, and 5 weeks after my last period I realized I was pregnant. Working fulltime at Walgreens was not paying me enough to take care of a child, I could barely afford to take care of myself. I thought about abortion, and my boyfriend wanted me to get one, and although I have no problem with other girls getting abortions if they aren't ready for children, I knew it wasn't the answer for me. So, I told my mom she was going to be a grandmother and she cried... a lot. I was only 17 at the time and she knew I had many goals in life. Eventually, my mom accepted the news and even became excited... she has always loved little babies anyways. My parents are great, they let me move back in with them so I could save money and eventually quit my stressful job. I think I have handled everything pretty well, and I feel like I am mature enough to care for another person... but there is nothing I can do about my now ex-boyfriend. I can't make him stop smoking pot so that he can have clean urine and get a good paying full time job. I can't make him be a mature responsible adult. I can only control my own actions, which is why I broke up with him. But now, I'm faced with a lot of parenting decisions and I'm sooo worried that I won't make the right ones and that I will have a son who resents me his whole life. I only have 2 more months until my precious baby boy will be here, and I have already made the decision that next summer I will be moving to Texas (I live in Oregon) to further my education, I want to be a nurse. But what am I supposed to do about my sons father? Should I let him have his name on the birth certificate? Should I try to get child support from him? Can he legally stop me from moving to Texas with my son? My aunt lives in Texas and she has a baby that will be exactly a year older than my son, we can work our schedules out so that we don't have to get a babysitter I will help take care of her children when she and her husband want to go out together, and they will watch my son while I work part time and go to school. I just don't want my ex getting in the way of my goals in life, I know I can make a great life for my son... I'm just worried about what his father could or would do to stop me.


Lace - November 22

I really don't think he could stop you from moving to Texas, but you'd have to check Oregon state laws to be sure. Don't let anything get in the way of your dreams, it sounds like you have it all worked out. I hope it works for you. Good luck and best of wishes!!



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