Need Advice

5 Replies
Desiree - May 3

Does anyone on here have experience with adoption. I am 12 weeks and considering adoption. I want to know if open adoption is better for the mom and child or if it just would make it harder to have to see the child. I don't know if I would rather do open or closed adoption because I am afraid of feeling guilty.

 

To Desiree - May 3

No one can make the decision for you. If you think you will feel guilty about it maybe it isn't for you. However you have to also think of your child and what your child needs. Make your decision based on your needs and your childs needs. However no one else can make the decision for you. Hopefully you get responses from people who have previously adopted and they can give you their stories. You can base your decision on this, but remember it is your decision.

 

Cheryl - May 3

We have a son who is adopted. It is and open adoption. At first it was really hard on her to see pictures and things because it made her miss him more. He is 4 years old now and his mom is doing really good with everything. She knows she made the right decision and thanks me for taking such good care of him. Whether you decide on open or closed depends on you as an individual and your personal situation. good luck whatever you decide. We are looking to adopt again. If you would like to talk feel free to email me [email protected]

 

Anne - May 3

Dear Desiree: My Mom is a birthmom and had my brother when she was 16. Unfortunately back then there was only closed adoption. Today there are so many other choices. Don't forget semi-open adoption as well. She has since reunited with her son but she had to wait 21 years to do so. My husband and I are looking to adopt our first child as we are not able to have children and we are looking for a birthmom who can tell us what type of adoption she wants. We are open to whatever contact she wishes. If you would like to get to know us a little bit, please feel free to email me at [email protected] We have an adoption profile that I can email to you as well as photos if you are interested. I wish you all the best.

 

DJ - May 3

What is semi-open adoption?

 

Nanna Ronni - May 4

Ok this is a worst case scenario when considering adoption, but l do feel eyes should be open to all sides of the coin. I was adopted at the age of 2. It was a private and closed adoption. Yes it was in the Uk back in 1965. My adoptive parents went on to s_xually abuse me. I was kept locked and tied up and only allowed out to attend school. I was fed a diet of fried eggs and packet mash. The best food l ever had was when I stole it or when the school thought l was emaciated, so they provided me with school lunches. I was severly beaten by my adoptive parents to the point at the age of 40 I now have sever back problems. I got away from them at the age of 16 and went onto have three children under the age of 5 by the time l was 23. I had several breakdowns and was hospitalised due to my fragile state of mind. Fortunatly after many years of therapy and a few folk who believed that I was worthy of love, help and support, I have managed to turn my life arround and now I am a counsellor helping young people, however I have a daughter who is a teen mum, so maybe residue of the screw ups still does have an impact on the next generation of my family. If you are considering adoption, I cannot stress enough PLEASE PLEASE make sure you do enough checks to make sure the potential adopters of your babies will not go through anything like what I did. My adoptive parents appeared to be wonderful citizens, they both were in the teaching profession, and they had 3 birth children of their own, so to all intents they looked and ideal family unit. Sadly they were not. Good luck everyone and hopeing that your stories will be successful ones.

 

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