12 Replies
*bug* - October 20

hey, im 17. and i had a bf for 1 yr and lost him about 2 months ago. ever since then ive been incomplete. i have a WONDERFUL co-op job at a daycare. and this is my last year of high school. then im going to sheridan collage. to get my ECE. (early childhood education) and they thing is i want to love someone. i already love myself and my dreams are coming true, but incomplete with out being pregante at a young age.i get straight Bs in school i have a bright future. i have family,friends.... but im still alone. And it hurts all the time when i close my eyes.i basicly raised my nephew since he was born up till now and now hes three and same with my neice and now shes 6. i know how to do it. ive been around kids my WHOLE life and i know how to proberly raise them. but i dont want my parents to be mad. with they will. and well... what should i do cuz MR. PERFECT isnt ever coming around plez help me thank youz


Helpful - October 20

You are only 17, and have many more years of your life to go before you are going to meet "Mr. Perfect". You need to focus on getting your ECE as you will need to have an education past high school to raise a child, financially it's better for you and the child. Anways, you need to enjoy being a teenager now and go off to college like you have been planning to. Also, you may want to look into volunteering at your local Big Brothers Big Sisters network as there are lots of children who are in single parent homes who would really like to have an older person to look up will be worth your time and it really can make a difference in a child's life.


mina - October 20

hi bug, "helpful" had a wonderful idea. you are young and will probably fall in love many times before you meet "the one". so please concentrate on your education so when you do find the right person you will have a stable career and life and the two of youcan share the joy in creating and raising a child. it really isnt something you should do alone at your age, it will only WAY complicate your life and the truth is girl, if you are looking fo rlove again you will really narrow your selection if you are pregnant or have a baby. live your wonderful life and dont forget it is VERY different when the child is your own and you cant give it back. you sound intelligent. do the right thing for yourself and your future children! good luck sweetheart!


Maggie - October 20

Helpful, that is some really great advice. Bug, I'm sorry you feel so alone, but I promise you a baby will not fill that void in your life. I think you are suffering from a bout of depression that more than likely has to do with losing your bf. Is there someone you can talk to, like a parent, doctor, or priest. It sounds to me like your life is going in the right direction and that is something to be very proud of. Mr. Perfect will eventually come along, but not at 17. Try to enjoy what little time you have left of being a teenager. I have a 17 year old niece, and I always tell her that someone couldn't pay me to re-live my teenage years. (I'm 26) I know life is tough right now, but I promise it will get better. Don't try to speed things up too much.


Bonnie - October 20

I agree, great advice guys. Definately wait for the baby until the timing is right. Not just for you, but for the sake of the child as well. Have you considered getting a pet? I know that's a typical answer peopel dish out, but it does help. I wanted a child and while I was old enough, I just wasn't fully ready at the time. We weren't established enough so we bought a dog. And she is like a child to me as well. :) I am now expecting a baby and am quite happy I waited. And my dog is part of our family, I swear she's human :P Maybe that is something you could consider.


Bug - October 20

thank you ladies so much for your help. if you have any thing else to say i would be glad to hear it. thanks a million -Bug


cakes - October 21

bug- wait until you are married or until you at least find mr right, i am 27 and have been married for 2 years and still no kids, kids tend to complicate things, and even though you may disagree, some guys don't want to raise someone elses kids, my husband is great, but if i would have had a baby i am not sure our relationship wwould have went beyond dating, just a little something to think about..


Hey - October 24

come on ppl help me!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the person "Oh jeeze BUG " dont ever write me again! becuz you werent even understanding of what i was saying. you got it mixed up. so dont. all you other ladies out there plez keep helping me because i want to do this and its getting closer to when i do this. And im getting desprite for help!!!!! thank you to all the women out there who sent positive messages to me.. KEEP SENDING!


Bonnie - October 24

While "Oh Jeez" was pretty rude, she did make one good point for you bug. 17 is really young, you have PLENTY of time for Mr. Perfect. :) I always thought when I was a teenager that I would get married by 23 and pregnant by 25. Heh, I ended up getting married at 27 and am now 34 and pregnant with my first child. (Man, I SWORE I'd never meet the guy and had pretty much resigned myself to being alone.) We truely have no control over when these things will happen to us (despite wanting them NOW so badly). I think Mr.Perfect always seems to come along right when you least expect it. And think of it this way, middle age is now 40. The majority of people live to at least 80. Which means, at 17, you have not even lived a quarter of your life yet. :) You have TONS of time to find Mr.Perfect. I can truely sympathise with not wanting to be (or feel) alone. I think everyone feels that way deep down. But I am a firm believer that you need to learn to BE on your own and learn how to enjoy your own life before meeting Mr. Right OR having a baby. Go to your college, get yourself a place of your very own. Get a great job, make some friends, and enjoy being single and having your own life for a while. Once you can do that and be happy with who you are, everything else will fall into place and you have sooooo much time to do it all. (God, I sound like a shrink...but it's so true). I love being married since my hubby is awesome to me, and am so excited about this pregnancy. But at the same time I really enjoyed my early 20's, being on my own and independent and I have great memories (even miss it soemtimes) of it all. Don't deprive yourself. :) Good luck!


Bonnie - October 25

thank you very much. that helped me alot ;)


Kellie - October 25

I can understand how you are feeling. I am 24 and have had my share or MR. WRONG'S! I have now met someone who has made me complete. All i can say is that having a baby at such a young age is hard work and looking after relative's children is completely different than raising your own child. You can't hand your own child over to someone when it cries all night, needs feeding, nappies changing, etc. Go and get your education and enjoy your life. Meet up with your friends and have a good time. Mr.Right will come along when you least expect it. Don't look for love, let it find you. When you finish your education and get a good and well paid job and finally settle down and have a family, you will be able to make a good life for your children.


to:shannon - October 26

that was very imature. grow up!


to:kellie - October 26

thank you very much :)



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