Please READ A Bit Of Advice From Someone Who Cares

4 Replies
alivea - June 13

I just wanted to write this to the young girls who either are, or want to be preg. I am 19. I have a 4 y.o. daughter and a 2 y.o. son. I had my daughter at 14. I got pregnant when Iost my virg. Her father and I got married when i was 16, at which time i got preg with my son. I can't even begin to describe to you how hard it is to 1. be preg and in junior high or high school. 2. actually push a baby out. and 3. raise these children to be all that you want them to be. Being preg. is the most incredible and exciting thing in the world.It is also the most annoying and in a way painful thing in the world. Esp, when you are young. Let me tell, you, I have been to h__l and back trying to take care of my kids, I have been living good with my own house and car, I have also been homeless. I have had good jobs, I even did 3 semesters in college. I have had a house full of food, and i have had nothing but peanut butter from wic in my cupboard. It is hard. But it's possible, it depends on who you are and what you want in life. I would advise youto get help, because i know i couldn't have done it with out help. Get wic, if you can get medicaid. Go to churches and other orginizations for diapers and stuff. Ask freinds or family. Finish school. Because raising a child is expensive. I just wanted to put this out there for yall to know, you are not alone and you can do it. I am not promoting teen preg. Because if you really want to know....If you are not preg. already, DONT get preg! not now. I dont regret my kids but i do WISH I WOULD HAVE WAITED. I know you probably heard that before, but that is cause it is true!!! Anyway, All that there is to know is to much to put here in this little box. So, if you would like to talk to someone or need help. You can email me. I know how hard it is especially, when you look around and realize all the friends that were there and loved you before, are not there when you need them most. [email protected]


greenlight - June 13

Thanks for sharing that, Alivea. I'm glad you're here to show these girls a little more of the reality. You sound like a strong woman and it sounds like you're gonna go places in life. You obviously have the motivation to keep going, which is more than most pregnant teens can say. I wish you the best!


sunshine - June 13

thx man! I'm not pregnant, and i hope not to be until i am ready. The thing with me is that, although i know it is stupid, and although i know i won't for a long time, i kind of want to have a baby. It's wierd, i dont know why i have this feeling, and i know it's not something u hear everyday, but i just do. Anyways, i appreciate wat u have to say, thank u!


hey sunshine - June 13

It's natural for women to want babies. You're perfectly normal for thinking about motherhood. The trick is having the maturity and discipline to wait until you're independent, hopefully married or at least living with your man, and able to cope with the challenge of having a baby and dealing with the real world at the same time. For your sake, just wait a few more years.


trinh - June 14

Thank you Alivea for sharing your past experienced with us. It must been hard, wasn't it? I know. I understand. I had never experienced this whole trial of having kids at a young age or having a kid unprepared. I have learned a lot, however, through my siblings' mistakes, I would love to help other people by providing them the information they need and convincing them not to have kids at a young age. This especially goes for all the young teen out there. So I recommend people out there not to have kids until you are prepared, mature, responsible, independent, etc ... having to drop out of high school or not having a good high education level isn't a good start on becoming a parent. Sharing my siblings experience in this forum, I want to show other teens out there not to have a baby at a young age because it is really difficult. My three siblings: Mary, Adam, and Andy, all had to go through the step of coming forward and telling my dad that they or their girlfriend was pregnant; they had to do this while they were still at a young age and without a good high education level. My oldest sister, Mary, who is now twenty - six years old had two babies; one girl and one boy by the age of twenty -one. From Vietnamese family's perspective, the age of twenty-one is still young because the need of continuing college and graduating with a degree is what all Vietnamese parents wish and expect for their children, in return for raising them, of course. Because my sister was young and had no guidance whatsoever, she took the wrong path towards her life. Due to my mother's addiction to gambling, our mother ended up leaving us; my sister, who is also a mother to us, had to work two jobs a day just to support the family. Living paycheck-to-paycheck, she soon decided to drop out of college and go to work full time. Her husband, on the other had, was a lazy guy and so their relationship didn't work out, leaving her with nothing but her two precious kids. My oldest brother, Adam, who is now twenty-four, had a baby at the age of eighteen. He dropped out of high school during his junior year and decided to join a gang as the leader. Committing crime after crime (beating people up, jacking cars, robbing, etc...), and traveling from one jail to another, he soon realized what he had done was all a mistake; on top of everything else, having a baby at the age eighteen left him with child support to pay. My youngest brother, Andy, who is now seventeen, had a baby at the age of sixteen with his girlfriend. Although he and his girlfriend are still continuing high school, they both still have to worry about the future for their kid. At such a young age they shouldn't be worrying about any of this. But, instead, they chose to be worried. Having a kid with no jobs and no money, they had to think positively and find a babysitter, so they decided to continue finishing their high school years, since his girlfriend's mother could baby-sit, but having a baby was a choice. Although they went through a lot of trials and tribulations, luckily they have made it through all the tough stages of raising a baby: providing her with food and clothes, staying up late at night, etc… Because differences in others' perspectives about having kids at a young age, some are okay with having babies at a young age and dropping out of high school, some aren't. My purpose is to point out to others that having a baby at a young age is very difficult, Even if you are not young, without a high school diploma or a degree of some kind it is very hard to find a stable job. People who do decide to have babies during their teenage years, please do reconsider because I am sure that your whole life would turn around within a matter of seconds. You're just taking the harder step into becoming a parent. Why not just wait until you reach around mid twenty's or thirty's and take care of it then. The majority of you would say "no" but would still choose to get pregnant. Once you're pregnant and finally realize everything was all a mistake, it will be too late to turn now. So please ACT now before it's too late.



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