Scared And Dont Know What To Do

26 Replies
Emerald Princess - November 26

im 14 and recently found out im preg i dont know what to do. i didnt know who else to tell as nobody knew someone had s_x with me so i told the father. he has told me to abort it or he will do it himself and if his gf finds out he will kill me. he said she would beat the shit outta me 2. im really scared and really just dont know what i should do next does anyone have any ideas?

 

Emerald Princess - November 26

everything ive read on abortions just sounds horrid i just couldnt do that. but i have othing to offer a baby either. adoption seems a good option here but im scared of the father :(

 

Emerald Princess - November 26

am i able to go to the police myself? its just that i dont live with my parents and i am not in contact with them. im staying with my older brother atm while its decided were im gonna go but he doesnt like me anyway and wont be any support hes out all the time anyway. the father is his friend. i have a social worker who visits me once every 2 weeks but shes not really friendly she just rushes through the visits and doesnt really ask me how i feel and i dunno if i can talk to her. i dont think i could go through with abortion it just sounds wrong to me. to be totally honest i feel this baby could save me! but i know i cant put that on a child and i have nothing to offer at all :(

 

tish212 - November 26

ok I worked fr social services for a bit here...if u don't feel comfortable with ur social worker u can contact them and ask that someone else be put on ur case...and yes the social worker is the best person to tell they can get u the help u need with prenatal care...wic...and if u chose to keep the baby...they can help make sure u can do it.... u need to go to the police and make a report of what this guy said to u...it is a threat and needs to be reported...DO NOT ABORT THIS BABY just b/c he threatened u... if u don't believe in it don't do it for him..its ur body and a choice YOU will have to live with not him.... u need to talk to social services...since I take it u were removed from ur family... they can help u..and go to the police...u don't need anyone to go with u...

 

chriswife - November 26

please do not abort this baby, it will change your life and possibly keep u from having babies in the future. manyof us would to adopt a baby even

 

jennifer_33106 - November 26

She said she didnt wanna abort it.....

 

Saturn - November 27

What a knob he sounds. I get the feeling it wasnt your average relationship..? Oh YES you are able to go to the police by yourself and I really think you should. Is he pressuring you every day? Even if he isnt the threats are enough to go to the police. He would probably be arrested for more than just the threats though, although I'm really not sure of all the details. Depending how old he is (sounds older) he can be prosecuted. I'd definitely do what tish said, if there's no one else, get in touch with the social services and find someone to help you x

 

ChattyKathy - November 27

You are 14. Tell your parents and tell the authorities. He will have statuatory rape charges (and if you file them, a protection order) brought against him and the situation will take care of itself.

 

Emerald Princess - November 29

thanks. i cant tell my parents as i am not allowed contact with them atm. i dont think i can tell my social worker we just dont get on at all she never makes an effort with me. i have a teacher here (im in school) that i do like and she gives me a lot of time. i think i will tell her. i dont know what she could do though really. i hope something though cos to be honest i really dont want to go to the police on my own. ive decided im not getting abortion i just cant go through with that. im going to find out about adoption. i might be fostered myself in a few months. the probably perfect thing for me would be to have me AND my baby taken in by the same family but i know thats not very likely at all :( people will want a baby but not the teen mum. no were not in a relationship and never have been. he stayed over at my brothers and had s_x with me :( he doesnt threaten me like all day every day but he has told me it more than once and he emailed me yesterday to say have you got rid of it yet. so anyway ill talk to this teacher at lunch and go from there. thanks

 

Nervousmommy2b - November 30

Good luck with whatever you decide to to do hunny.

 

Saturn - November 30

All you can do is enquire about it. To be honest I have heard of pregnant teenagers being taken in and being allowed to stay with their baby. Not sure how often that happens, but it isnt unheard of. I would talk to social services about that, they might be able to advise you on it. Did you have a talk with your teacher?

 

Emerald Princess - December 10

thanks yes i spoke to my teacher and shes been really great she talks to me daily at school in break times. shes given me advice and got me sorted out with docs appts and ill be booking in with the midwife in a couple of weeks. hes still contacting me, now saying he will drag me there himself to get an abortion or if i dont do it by next wkend he will tell his gf and she will be after me. to be honest im getting bored and sick of it. i dont get why hes getting so wound up by it i dont want him in this babies life and i have no intention of telling anyone about him. but if i say this to him i know it wont get through. it makes me so angry that this was all his fault but he blames me for it all and reckons im out to ruin his life! i hate him i dont want to have anything to do with him and i dont want the baby involved with him so he hasnt got anything to worry about anyway hes just being a total idiot

 

lastchance - December 10

Quick question? All his fault makes it sound a bit like rape.... it DOES take 2 to tango... I am glad you decided not to have the abortion. I was in a similar situation when I was 13, but I made the opposite choice.... (read the abortion post in the teen pregnancy section.) thats me.... It may have been the right choice, but I know that I will regret it for the rest of my life... its good to have the right to choose, but thats a hard choice to make... You sound like you have it rough... know that even if he drags you to an abortion clinic you cant have an abortion without your parents or a cregiver being notified AND they ask if YOU are the one that wants the abortion, if you say no and tell them that this guy that brought you here is forcing you, especially if he is order he will probably be arrested... You should save all communications between the two of you because this may be evidence in the future... just in case...

 

lastchance - December 10

Oh.. please... how old is he?

 

ChattyKathy - December 10

Don't be stupid. He is threatening you and the baby. If you really care about your child, grow up and do something about the situation. Tell your social worker. Have something done about this or you wont stop being hara__sed and you could possibly be harmed to the point of being killed by him. Stop running away from your problems. TELL SOMEONE.

 

lastchance - December 10

I do agree that you need to take measures to protect yourself from this "violent individual" and his girlfriend. Try to avoid contact with him and her... I don't trust him, and don't want to see you get hurt... also she should be mad at him, but I wouldn't put it past her to go after you, because there is no rage worse than a woman who feels someone is moving in on her man... (even if you aren't, didn't know about her etc...).

 

babylove4 - December 10

First of all, If I were You I would go straight to the police dept. and file a report ..You said He threatned your life, Becuase of your age they may do more I'm sure, You dont have to be alone in this tell someone You trust...Where do you live? Do they have a woman's home's? Maybe your SW can place you in one for preg.teens? You should ask her..GL

 

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