Should I Consider Adoption

16 Replies
makenzie - March 27

I am a college student. The father walked out last week when I told him. I am so confused. I don't think I am ready to be a mom. Abortion is not something I would consider. I think adoption may be an option but I don't know if I can go through with it when the time comes. What should I do?


katie - March 27

i think from the way ur talkin u want to keep the baby...i think u should wait until ur baby is born or a month or two before cause wen u carry a baby for 9mths u get attached to it.but yes adpotion is an option but think about it first okies :-)


kay - March 27

No one on this forum can tell you what to do all they can do is give the best advice they can. Adoption is sometimes are hard process to go through as you do bond with your baby through out pregnancy. Maybe give your boyfriend some time to come around and then you can both sit down and be mature adults about this and sort something out . Good luck :)


Grandpa Viv - March 27

It requires a great deal of courage to do the adoption thing - more than abortion - but it is a win-win situation for all concerned. An open adoption is a great way to go if you can find an adoptive parent who will take that risk (they are frightened you will change your mind). In open adoption you continue to have some contact. My suggestion would be to find an adopting couple as early as possible, let the adopting mother spend time with you during the pregnancy, and both of you take on the mind-set that this is her child you are carrying. Try for a starter. I am at [email protected] May the angels give you strength in this difficult time.


Jaya - March 27

its difficult cos you dont know how you are going to feel until you see your baby. i was adamant i wasnt going to keep my little girl but when i gave birth to her and saw her and how ill she was i knew i couldnt let her go. no one can tell you what you should do cos it has to be your decision. but adoption is always an option. depending on how you feel it wont be too late. good luck xxx


makenzie - March 27

Thanks for your replies and support. I have a while to think I will just take my time I guess and see what happens.


melissa - March 28

Hi Makenzie...I am sorry to here that the father walked out. Most likely he is just scared, as far as the adoption it is always an opt. Just listen to what is in your heart, you will find the answer with some deep soul searching. Good luck.


Julia - March 28

Makenzie, No one can tell you that you should consider adoption. Only you can make that choice for you. You have to search your heart out and decide. But whatever decision you make be SURE its what you want. I myself have experianced someone wanting to give their baby up for adoption and then changing their mind. I am glad that they were able to keep their baby. But it also hurt my family. Because we were so excited about having our new addition. So just be sure that you can handle it if you decide to adopt. And if you decide to keep your baby congrats!!!!!!!!! and GOODLUCK!!!! email me anytime if you just want to [email protected]


Jen - March 28

The adoption agency we used waited until the baby was bron before a decision was made...after birth if the woman adoption...she met families. Before that time she just spoke to the workers there who make it very clear to adoptive couple that if she want to parent, then they will help her do so.


Rachel - March 29

Sure! Adoption is painful any way you do it, but I would recommend an open adoption. At least then you'll get to see your child grow up. It also shows that you care about them. Also, Kay is right. We can't tell you waht to do. We can only tell you the best advice we can. Make the right choice.


Rebecca - March 29

Makenzie, I am the mother of two biological children and one adopted. Our adoption is what is reffered to as "open". That means that the birth mother and our son's three brothers are a part of our lives. Many people now consider this a very healthy way to do adoption. After all, a child can't have too many people love it, right? Many times this works best when the birthmother already has other kids (like ours) or the mother is too young to care for the child w/ out sacrificing the long term stability of her own life and future children (like finishing college so they can have a job etc). No matter which option you chose, it will be hard. Being a mother is hard. That is a fact. If you decide to parent, you need to be prepared to put this child first for the rest of its life, your turn is over, that is just what being a mother is. If you feel ready to that, there is a big part of your answer. If you don't feel ready to do that, there are other options for you, but there will be difficulties w/ that choice too. You need to be informed and supported. :-) The good news is that you have plenty of time to decide what you want to do. Most agencies don't match you to a family until about 6 weeks before delivery. You also get to choose the family and can meet them before the birth. In many states it is legal for the adoptive family to help out with living expenses and medical expenses--that can be a huge help too. It is so different now then it used to be. We had 4 birthmothers change their minds before we got our son, but we got the right baby. The relationship we have with his birthfamily is really special--even though we are all so different. Our son knows that his mother loved him, but couldn't take care of him at the time. My husband and I like to think of it like this. We are soley responsible for his physical well being, but we share the responsiblitiy of his mental and emotional wellbeing with his birthmother. She has input and plays an important part in that. I wouldn't have it anyother way. Most adoptive parents are happy to do what the birthmother wants. By the way, our son's birthmother is pregnant and again and is trying to decide whether to parent this one or place it with us. Everyone's situation is different at different times. Just know that there are options. If you want to e mail me directly and ask more questions feel free. We don't try and push birthmothers either way, and either way you will need support. The most improtant things is to be as informed as possible. In fact, we still have a relationship with one of our birthmothers that changed her mind and have been able to help her navigate being a single mom. [email protected] Good luck!


Amy - March 30

email or IM my friend she can talk to you and give you advice. her email and im for yahoo is [email protected]


Tay - March 30

I am also considering putting my baby up for adoption. I'm worried I cannot provide for my child what my parents provided for me...If you want to talk...I have AIM: TayTay124R


hi - March 30

well i'm looking to adopt


makenzie - April 2

I have decided on adoption. My aunt and uncle have some friends who are real nice and they want to adopt so I have chose them. thanks for everyones support.


Julia - April 2

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish you all the love and blessings that God has to offer. Be strong and pray. Love, Julia


Nisa - April 2

You should absolutely consider adoption. If you believe you're not ready to be a mom, you're probably right. It doesn't matter "how you feel when you first see your baby"- how attatched you are to the child has little to do with the quality of life you and it will have if you keep it when you're not ready. You should finish college, get secured in life and make something of yourself. Giving up your baby for adoption is the best thing you could do for it right now.



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