Surrogate Mother Should I Do It

8 Replies
Nathasha - September 8

I'm 17 and my sister is 30. For 4 years her and her husband have been trying for a baby. But she has had several miscarriages and the doctors say she has a condition where her womb keeps rejecting the baby - I don't really understand to be honest! Anyway she has asked me to carry her and her husbands baby for them. She's offered me money but I find that a bit tacky. If I did this I wouldn't want paying, I'd be doing it for my sister. If I were older I think I'd probably say yes straight away, but I'm just about to start my 2nd year at college, I have a part time job in fashion, which is my love and I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and we haven't even had s_x yet - we believe in s_x after marriage. If I do this fpr my sister my life will be put on hold for a year and I'll probably lose my boyfriend - is it worth the risk? Am I being selfish only thinking about myself? My sister desperately wants a baby. Should I just do it and shut up?


The real deal - September 6

Nathasha, in no way should you become pregnant while being a minor. Nor should you become pregnant before finishing college or any other reason before you are ready to become a surrogate mother. If you have serious feelings for your boyfriend, you may seriously want and consider his input before jumping off this clift by yourself. You could lose someone who cares deeply for you and a potential mate for life. Would it be worth it to you if you lost him?


to Nathasha - September 6

well you are still a minor. if you really dont want to do this then dont. sit down with her and tell her face to face. if you go ahead and do this you need to sit down with your partner and tell him. he could go along. its a big choice. if you dont do this for her there is other choices she can make out there. she can adopt or look for another surrogate mother or find an egg donor. so if you turn her down she has many other options out there.


Viv - September 6

You are being very generous in just considering the proposal. Your sister should not be asking you to do this until your life is more settled. She can well wait another five years. Perhaps she thinks that because you are a year ahead academically, it would be OK to skip a year. I don't agree. The experience could easily derail your college career. Be selfish for right now. Circ_mstances will have changed by the time you graduate, and you will be mature enough to make a more informed decision.


amanda - September 7

did they ever think about adopting a child .. or does your sister have a best friend or someone else close to her that would do it for her .. if not i hope everything works out for you and you sister .. maybe you can consider it when u get out of college .. good luck :o)


Cherry - September 7

No no no! You are not being selfish at all. I know your sister must be desperate but to put this pressure on you, especially at your age and being at college and starting to form a strong relationship with your boyfriend is very unfair. I know a bit about how you feel. I am currently pregnant and acting as a surrogate for my best friend. Believe me it wasn't an easy decision but I am single and already have a daughter and am settled in a job so I haven't got anything to lose by doing it really. You obviously don't want to do it and feel as if you'd be letting your sister down but she has got to consider you, your life and your future and realise it would be unreasonable for her to expect you to do this at just 17. I know this sounds harsh but it is not your fault that she cannot carry a baby and she shouldn't take it out on you if you say you aren't ready. It would be a wonderful gift to her if you did it yes, but when you are older. You are too young for this kind of responsibility. Especially when you haven't even had s_x yet. There are people she could contact for advice, COTS being one of them. Does it really have to be now? Like you said you would probably do it when you were older.


Mad - September 7

NO WAY!! DO NOT DO IT!! surrogate mothers usually do not know the person they are giving it to and that is a good thing and perfectly safe. Its stops people having problems,people might have trouble giving their baby away and the fact that you will see it all the time, you will end up having family problems. When this baby is grown up it would by so hard telling it. actually, natasha is your mum and im your aunt.also u might end up wanting to tell it earlier, and natasha might not want to tell it at all. Its disgusting she has asked you to do this. seriously. She should go and get someone else to do it. There may be a waiting list, but it will prevent you from having a huge break up, family problems with your sister when ure older. you will regret it when the baby is born and later in its life.


Nathasha - September 8

Thanks for all the feedback guys. I'm still in 2 minds over this. A couple of my friends have said this is the ideal time to do it as I'm not married and am not settled into a full time career yet. What do you think? Just to clarify, if I went ahead with this it wouldn't be my baby. They would use an egg from my sister and a sperm from her husband. This is why my sister wants me to do it as it would be HER baby and she doesn't want to run the risk of some stranger running off with HER baby or deciding to keep it for themselves.


Viv - September 8

If its her egg and his sperm, why don't they just pay any ol' surrogate mother $10,000 to carry it for them? Put an ad on the college bulletin board. Maybe there's some student to whom it would really make a difference.



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