The Dad Is Ughhhhh Help

3 Replies
Amberk - November 10

Well, My Boyfiend And I Got Together In The Beggining Of July, This Year, IJust Turned 17, He Turned 18 Earlier This Year, His Ex Girlfriend Was Pregnant, i Was Stupid Anough To be With Him Anyways, but She Moved To Arizona, were in california, and she did that so he would be as far from his baby as possible, she kept in touch with everone down here of course, but she told everyone "i dont think its his" and he didnt either, but there was a possibility that it was, so i tol dhim to keep fighting for his baby girl. well about a month after we got together we started having s_x, and we had our scares every now and then but i always had my period, till one month i didnt, i am now two months pregnant. on the nineteenth of october, his ex had her baby, beautiful baby girl, and last week she decided to move back, and she called him and complained to him about how horrible it was being a single mother! she did this herself, you know, but of course i was still wanting him to be happy and telling him to try, so one night he talke dto her allll night over the phone, i got upset tso i broke up with him, and automaticaly i was nothing, "my daughter is my only care now" and things like that. he knows im pregnant too, so when i aksed, well what about my baby? hed just hang up. i told my aunt and uncle and everybody last night, so i guess reality hit him. i told him that he needed to choose which family he was gunna support fully, and which one he didnt want to, he chose his ex, which i dont understand, i supported him the hwole time, i love dhim so much, and he chose her. so i said fine, and i let him go, he calls back and says i wanna be there very sep of the way (he already missed out on the pregnancy of his last baby) so i said how is that possible? i mean, his ex (kayla) wouldnt support the fact that he has anothe rbaby, and would tak ehim away. i asked him if it was over for good, and he said idk, ill love you and miss you but idk. i dont know what to think of this! we started talking about names and we were both getting excited until kayla called, he broke the news to her, and she wont let him talk to me, he said "i cant do this to her" and when i said, "but you can do it to me?" he hung up. i dont know if hes scared that if he got back with me hed loose his daughter, or what. idk. theres alot more to the story, but i really need help!


Mrsrowe18 - November 10

Oh honey, Im so sorry. Nobody deserves to deal with a guy like that. In my opinion, you should just leave him and forget him. He's no good for you or your baby. He'll never be a good father if he doesn't even wanna be with you while you're pregnant.


V9653 - November 13

She's right. He shows signs of being too easily led and his ideas about the way things work are almost at the the development level of a toddler! There's nothing you can do about it. It sounds like you are dealing with a toddler male who doesn't know what he wants and enjoys the drama of back and forth or is a punk for anyone controlling, and it was just your luck that his ex is conniving and immature enough to get him to do what she wants. As your pregnancy continues your going to become more and more attached to this baby, and I bet you anything he pops in and out and then after the baby is born he'll want to get back with you, but yuo don't need that. You are a mother now and that is what's important! You dont deserve the way he's treated you and handled things and your baby doesn't deserve to have you raising it where it is expecting and longing for the return of someone who is part-time. If he wants to be a father, so be it, but he doesn't deserve to be in a relationship with you, and if he lets some other woman determine the kind of father he'll be then so be it, but don't let it affect the life your baby has. It's hard now because you got fooled into believing things would go a certain way, and you'd probably give anything for him to come and say it was a mistake and you guys live happily ever after, but he's already shown his true colors, so it's better to let go and mourn that now instead of letting him keep you in a psycho cycle! He's a Jerry Springer type and it sounds like he's at the beginning of those life choices-you don't sound like a dumba__s, so rise above it all, and tell yourself you are WAY better than that lifestyle. Good luck and if you need to talk don't hesitate!


lovemydoggies - November 16

Trust me, you don't want to go down that road of never being first in his life. Make him be responsible for his child that you two created together and forget about having a personal relationship with him. Life is too short to settle because you are young and scared of raising a baby without it's father in the home. Many families consist of healthy step parents and there is someone out there that will love you and make you number one and your child. I wish you well. (From someone who has been there and did the opposite, not good)



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