UPDATE From Ally Who Posted I WANT A BABY A While Ago

8 Replies
ally - May 22

hi everyone, thanks for all your responses. i know yes i am crazy. i am now 16 and i said in my post that i thought i was pregnant but i wasnt.. well i actually was..i went to the doctor and he did a blood test and i was!! then i had an untrasound and got to see my beautiful baby!!! he/she was the most beautiful, but also so scary, i would hav to change my whole life from now on!! but thats ok, i went for a job and planned on moving out, closer to town so i could walk to and from work..i arranged to start school at home later on in my pregnancy when school became too hard.. 2 weeks after i had the ultrasound, i had the worst pain i had ever had. i was bleeding everywhere, and was so scared for the baby. i hadnt told my mum and dad that i was pregnant yet, and i knew what was happening.. i was in so much pain and nobody was home.. i sat in the shower for 3 hours until the water went cold, and i was still in immense pain. i still didnt do anything about it, i cried and cried knowing that my baby was dead. now i look back and think i could have done something. what if i went to the hospital, they could have saved it. but after 3 days of terrible pain, the pain dulled down and was just a heavy period.. i felt relieved thinking maybe it was ok, and called my doctor for an appointment. i went in there and told him what had happened and he said that i had most definetely had a misscarraige, and sceduled a ultrasound the next day. when i had the ultrasound, there was no baby. they pronounced i had had a complete misscarraige, and said that i should have a d/c to make sure everything was out, but i said i didnt want one, because i could pay for it unless my family found out.. and anyway, who cares if i was in pain, my baby was dead. i didnt tell anyone about it, not even my best friend. i coped with it by talking about how much i wanted a baby, and making up names for my baby. i called my baby ashlee hope. i always thought it was a girl. last week i started talking to the father again and ended up telling him, he was horrified.. he kept saying, i cant believe i had a kid. so now, i dream about her all the time. i cant live without her. i know everyone here thinks it is wrong to have a baby at such a young age, but if it makes you happy, why wait. i want my baby back so bad, i have been thinking about trying for one with my x boyfriend to replace her. i know it will never be the same, but i feel so empty without her. she was my life, and she died. i was willing to change everything for her, and she couldnt stay because she was always meant for life in heaven with god. thankyou everyone who has expressed their opinions on here, i appreciate it. thankyou.


OMG - May 22

omg!! y didnt u go to hospital it wouldnt matter if your family found out then! i feel so sorry for you


THAT SUX - May 22

im sorry. im 4 months pregnant and i would die if that happend to me. i already love my baby and i dont even know the s_x!! if i were you i would talk about it. and try again in a couple of years. i wish the best for you and please post an update


JenniferB - May 23

Ally, I know it doesn't make it any better but once you start to miscarry there isn't anything that anyone can do about it but wait. It makes me sad to think that you went through this alone. I have sons but if I had a daughter I would never want her to be afraid to tell me that she was pregnant. I wouldn't be happy but I would get over it. I know you are probably sick of hearing it but you will enjoy being pregnant and having a baby so much more when you can share the news with everyone when you are an adult. Having to hide it and not being able to afford medical care takes so much of the joy out of it. I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that you are feeling. Please consider waiting. You will be a wonderful mother someday.


ally - May 23

thanks everyone. jenniferB, i could afford medical care, i went to the doctor and got ultrasounds done and everything. i feel so terrible for what has happened to my baby. but i know she will always be inside my heart. she is living her life in heaven where nothing can hurt her anymore. thankyou for all your support, it does make it easier talking about it. i have been thinking about waiting a couple of years, but whatever will be will be. thankyou all once again. and good luck in all your pregnancies.


JenniferB - May 23

I apologize, I thought you said that you couldn't pay for a d&c without your family finding out. I made the a__sumption that your parents needed to pay for it. Anyway, I am glad that you are considering waiting.


becca - May 23

omg thats really upsetting sounds like your doing okay well if you want a baby then go for it my sister had a still birth at 8 1/2 months and had to give birth to him its was so sad and now she has a baby girl (well toddla now) she first got pregnant at 19 and now she is 23 good luck my thuoghts r with you xx xx xx xx


ally - May 24

ohh that would have been really really sad becca. i have been thinking more about waiting, and i dont want to anymore. i am thinking about trying for one now. i know i am young, but i cant stop mourning the loss of ashlee hope, i think about her every day. i know nothing will ever replace her, but i feel it is the right time at the moment. anyway, good luck girls in your pregnancies, and thankyou once again, it really helps talking about it.


Audrey - May 26

Ally- I'm sorry that you lost your child. Miscarriage happens for reasons that we don't really know much about. Usually it's because there's an abnormality, so it's probably for the best. If you did not have a D&C I suggest you take care of yourself because if any tissue remained inside it could cause you to bleed severely (it happened to my mother once). Wait a while for your body and spirit to heal. Best wishes!



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