Update Kinda Long Sorry

10 Replies
V9653 - March 5

So I haven't been on here as much, and I'm always playing catch up. I've just been having such a problem with my energy level and school and life, plus my weekends are occupied with the new bf!!! Hehee. I thought I'd update on that and I could use some advice! I've actually got a couple of problems so bear with me. Well, I had planned on transferring in the fall to a college either out of state or back to the town I grew up in and where I'd actually have friends and support, but this guy and I have fallen kind of hard and though he's so supportive of whatever I choose to do, he has just bought a house and is offering for me to move in with him and I'd be pretty much set with a job, daycare, a school nearby etc. It's tempting but I'm just so scared. It's almost like when he offered that, I just put up a wall to him. I have so many trust issues and issues about living with someone else (like they'll readily kick you out on your butt) and I've turned into a ball and have even been being distant towards him. God I hate it because I care for him so much and he is so understanding-even when I told him why I'm being standoffish! SO the other thing is my ex. Since he found out that I'm serious with someone, he is constantly popping up and calling and texting. I offered my friendship to him before this guy and I even got together, and my ex is REALLY in need of a friend, but I don't know how and where to put that boundary line so I don't feel like I'm giving my ex what he really wants (which is back into my life and to come between me and my bf) and without breaking any hearts too much! I really don't know what I'm doing here, and I'm too scarred and stressed out to be completely on point, so I need you guys here!


PreciousBaby19 - March 5

Well, to be honest in my opinion you need to make it clear that you dont want a relationship with your ex. Make him clear that he can call you and text you but if anything is inappropriate whats so ever then you'll have to rethink the situation. You also need to let your current boyfriend know that your having a friendship with your ex so he doesn't find out and think all of a sudden your cheating on him if he finds out. How long have you known your current man? You say he wants to move in with you, and your a little unsure. How long have you been seeing eachother?


amanda17 - March 5

I think it's great he wants to move in with you. Think about it, this is the chance for the new beginning you've been waiting for! Finally you can be in a relationship with someone who isn't..freaky haha. Finally your son will have the male figure in his life you've both been waiting for. Finally you can get away from your ex!!! This new guy has to like you A LOT if he was the one who suggested you guys move in together. You know guys and their fear of commitment, it sounds like he wants to take it to the next level. I know it's scary to put yourself out there, but if you really like this guy, and you want to take it to the next level just as he does.. You need to take the plunge. Good luck :)


PreciousBaby19 - March 5

[,agrees with amanda!


AddyAndVictoriasMommy - March 6

Whatever you decide to do I wish you the absolute best. Sorry about your ex though.


V9653 - March 10

Aww! Thanks you guys-you guys are so sweet and so much more BRAVE than I am!!! I still don't know what I'm gonna do on the whole moving in situation, but I can report that I'm sooo smitten. This relationship just keeps getting better and better! I can't help but wait for the bottom to drop out or for him to realize he's just been infatuated with me and now is sooo sick of me like in middle school romances! LOL! I met his 'rents over the weekend (I was SOOOO nervous) and it went great! It even shocked him because he's been warning me that his dad is not that friendly and won't talk but just sits there with a mad look on his face. But his dad started talkng to me, loved my little man, and even gave me a hug as we were leaving the restaurant we met up at!!! As for my ex-I think I've gotten him under control but I just feel so bad because he is wallowing in self-pity. I know it's his own fault, I'm just not used to being the reason for someone's misery.


amanda17 - March 10

Aww V! He sounds like a great guy! Let's put it this way to help you figure out if you want to move in.... Forget your past for a minute, has this guy ever given you any reason not to trust him? Is there anything other than trust holding you back from moving in?


V9653 - March 11

Well...I'm daddy's little girl and he would freak out. That's not good because he's got a heart problem, diabetes, and now has to undergo cancer treatments. My mom would freak and cause all kinds of problems...just because. If it falls through then I'm out on my b___t and not alone this time, but with a child! I'd have to pretty much start all over again... So yeah, those are my worries on top of the trust thing. I'm thinking I'll go ahead and apply to the school that's nearby and at least that leaves that option open and buys me some more time. I guess I feel pressured because I feel I've hit the jackpot and it wouldn't be smart to just move in with him until I was really sure and he was to. At the same time, if I don't move in with him then I'm moving far away from him and I just think it will b__w a really great chance at what might be happily ever after...urgh!!!


amanda17 - March 11

Personally if you really, really absolutely are head over heals for this guy, I think the pros may outweigh the cons. But... it's your decision so, think it over and good luck with it!


V9653 - March 12

Thanks Amanda! It's a wake up call in itself that someone I haven't even met has more faith in my ability to make good decisions than I do!


amanda17 - March 12

Aww V! I just want you to be happy and it seems like this'll really make you happy. So I'm still pushing you in the direction of moving in with him, but it makes sense why you'd be on the fence about it. Let me know what you decide!!



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