Update On Too Early To Tell

8 Replies
helpme12 - October 22

I know that I'm young, and I make a lot of wrong decision's, but I am mature enough to take responsibility for my actions. I'm 14 and experiencing ALL of the early symptoms of pregnancy. My period is due in about a week, and I think that these symptoms are not from PMS or ovulating because I never feel any discomfort until my period actually starts. I have a pretty regular 28 day cycle, and I have been s_xually active with my boyfriend ever since my period ended on October 2nd. I'm going today to get a buy two tests, so I can test now, and then if my period is late test then also. I'm actually not freaking out like I thought I would be, because I know that no matter how mad or disappointed my parents are (if I choose to tell them) that they will still be there for me. I know that If i choose to keep that baby (that is if I'm pregnant) it wont have a father figure growing up its whole life. I'm still with my boyfriend, but were not going to get married or anything. I am against abortion, so I am really stuck on what to do. any suggestions if I should keep the baby or not if I really am pregnant?


freeflyingangel - October 22

Ok well first off if your are pregnant you NEED to tell your parents. Being that you are 14 it will be very very difficult to take care of a baby and would need your parents help immensly. In wether or not to keep the baby that is something to discuss with your parents. I was 16 when i got pregnant and i didn't tell my parents and i still regret it but i know now that it was wrong and they love me still and love my sone just as much, but with exception i have an amazing bf who has provided everything for me since then. I am 18 now. Even i find it hard somedays to take care of my son. Bottom line you need to tell your parents whether you are pregnant or not. And you need to see a doctor and get some kind of birth control if your going to continue to have s_x. Doesn't matter which order you do it in but find out if your pregnant or not and adn tell your parents. Keep posting and i'll do my best to help you. Good Luck hun.


newbaby2009 - October 22

How can you say your baby wont have a father figure its WHOLE life? Just because you may not stay with the father doesnt mean he wont be a father to his child. Aslo i doubt you plan on staying single your childs entire life. Considering abortion is not being mature and accepting responsibility for your actions. Keeping and raising your child is. I think you are really jumping the gun here anyway. You dont even know if you're pregnant. And all this obsessing can make yur period late and actually cause you to experience pregnancy symptoms. Just dont worry anymore about it until you at least know if you are even pregnant.


helpme12 - October 22

Thank you both for the advice. When I said that the baby wouldn't have a father figure it's whole life I miss worded it wrong, sorry about that. What I meant was that I know me and my boyfriend aren't going to stay together forever.So what I meant by that is, I'm not so sure of how long he is going to stay in the child's life. If he takes the responsibility and actually be a father to the baby it would be okay for now. Your right Newbaby, i don't plan on staying single forever. I'm not really obsessing over this, it's just I'm kind of excited..when I know that I shouldn't be. Having a kid at 14 (well i would be 15 when the baby is born) is not going to be easy at all. I think any age of parenting isn't easy. I know right from wrong, and we do use protection every time. But the past two times we have had some problems, and had to actually fix the condom, and the first time he didn't pull out at all. He did pre-c_m and got it on his hands before he fingered me, so I know that is another possibility or that's what I've been told. If you could I would really appreciate if you told me some of your early symptoms, and how you broke the news to your parents. Thanks a lot for the info and your advice, I really appreciate it!


newbaby2009 - October 22

There is nothing wrong with being excited about the possibility of being pregnant. Its better to be excited then to dwell on the negative aspects it may have on you life. For me i was 19 when i first got pregnant and made it far enough along to tell anyone.I lived with my dad. My mom pa__sed away a month before i found out. I actually didnt come right out and tell my dad. I hinted around about it for a few weeks. Finally he asked me how far along i was. I wasnt with the father at the time. We were "friends with benefits." My dad took me to my appts. I lost the baby at 11.5 weeks. I got pregnant again 3 months later. This time my dad was p__sed and said he was kicking me out. He yelled and screamed (for certain reasons). But he got over it. The babys father was the same as the first and we still werent together. He was a real a__s at the time. My dad took me to all my appts. He drove me back and forth to work. My pregnancy was very difficult. I was alone throughout it with no one to talk to. I went into labor (which they stopped) at 26 weeks. I needed to be on bedrest for my sake and the babys sake but i could in no way afford it. So i continued to work until the day i had my daughter. My dad was at the hospital and was a very proud grandpa. He spoiled her every day. He helped take care of her when i was sick. I got very lucky. Now fast forward. My daughter is 16 months old and im 24 weeks pregnant with baby #2. Me n the father are now engaged and are very happy together!(both babies have the same father) Im going to be a mom of 2 at 21. And i wouldnt have it any other way. My first pregnancy symptoms were sore b___sts, fatique, and headaches. The dead give away for me was the sore b___sts. Im usually a night person, going to bed around 1am, and i started going to bed at 9pm and still being exhausted the next day.


helpme12 - October 22

Freeflyingangel, i have a question for you. You said that when you were 16 you got pregnant and you didn't tell your parents..How did they find out? Did you just start showing and they figured it out on their own? or what else. haha i can't think of anything else, im like beat right now (and in desperate need of sleep, and food) sorry if I'm being nosy, i was just curious how this all worked out that's all. You don't have to respond back, I was just curious as to how you made it through the pregnancy by yourself before your parents found out. Once again, thank you for your advice, its really helped a lot so far I've been looking at this situation in a totally different point of view! (thanks to you for opening up ideas to think about) Also NewBaby!- I'm happy that everything worked out with you and your man. It's also just amazing that you guys wound up getting engaged and are now having a 2nd child together! It seems that everything turned out great in the past couple of years and I'm truly happy for you :) Good luck with your pregnancy, Is it going to be a boy or a girl!? keep me updated! -*thanks*


Apple Tree - October 23

Hey hun, I wouldnt waste your money testing now, it's really too early to tell yet. Wait til your periods due. The thing is, sometimes if you believe strongly enough that you are pregnant, I swear the signs and symptoms start increasing and can really fool you into thinking you are for sure! i really think it's very unlikely. Things can change in your body and your cycle once you lose your virginity. I'm not sure why.. but they do. There's nothing wrong with being excited, no matter how young you are. It's not something that happens everyday. I'm 17 and excited as hell! And this is a pregnancy from rape! People don't understand, they start saying they're sorry when I tell them how I conceived but I'm like, don't be! From a horrible situation came something GREAT! But it is hard, I'm under no delusions how hard this is gonna be, and so part of me is terrified, but I think that normal. I can't imagine it at 14... It's good you got family there for you, but ultimately this will be your responsibility and will be a lot harder than you think. Try to relax. As I said, I think it's pretty unlikely you conceived. If your period is late test then. But you should be aware that for a lot of girls they have delayed periods after they have had s_x the first time. Again I don't know why.. they just.. do lol xxx


newbaby2009 - October 23

Thanks helpme12! Yes thing have worked out amazingly. I never dreamed we would be where we are.we're not sure on the gender of this ababy yet. There is a possible hereitary condition that can make it impossible to tell.


freeflyingangel - October 24

Well help me, what happened was i was living with my mom and her bf, and her bf decided to sell our house(he's not a good person and has put me through alot of s**t & we didn't get along), So i basically had to choose to move out or be taken to social services.(I was already two months preggo.) So i talked with my bf and he went a way to another town for about two weeks and got a job and a house and i moved out of my house at 2 in the morning... My mom knew i was going said good bye to me and eveything... she still didn't know i was pregnant. So anyway i was living with my bf and didnt have contact with my mom cuz well i didn't know where they were, and i was just scared to tell my dad. I hadn't lived with my dad since i was 3 and hardly saw him so it was awkward to talk to him let alone tell him. So time went on and i never told my mom or dad. Come January i emailed my dad and told him approx 15 days before my due date.... not to say he wasnt happy. His words were "I'm not mad, i'm dissappointed" and since then i have no problem telling him anything now. Now with my mom i had seen her in december for my birthday and she says she knew but didn't say anything and neither did i. So i didn't personally tell her untill after i had my son. Thats the just of it.. i have no problem sharing. Also on a side note being that i am pregnant again both my Parents know and have known from day one, it was so easy to tell them this time... lol anyway sorry this was long, but if you have anymore questions i dont mind answering them.. Also i dont suggest you do what i did in the way of telling your parents lol. TTyl and good luck again.



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