Who Is My Baby S Father Help Grandpaviv

17 Replies
TeenInNeed - December 3

I'm four months pregnant and having a real problem. I've been with my boyfriend two years and want more than anything for him to be the father. My last period was around August 16 and my cycles range from 27-32 days long. On September 2 I cheated on my boyfriend after a night of bar hopping (please don't ridicule me, I feel terrible already) with a guy friend of mine. He wore a condom and we only had s_x once. The next day my boyfriend and I had unprotected s_x (we had been having unprotected s_x since july, numerous times in august and september). I got a positive pregnancy test on September 15. Today, by my doctor's estimate, I am 15 weeks 2 days. I called and talked to my guy friend and he assured me the condom didn't break, but he also told me something else. He told me that he has something like a varicose vein in his p__s that makes it too hot to keep sperm alive. Is this a real condition or is he trying to make me believe he isn't the father? Please give me any advice you have. I plan on doing a paternity test with my guy friend after the baby is born but I just can't tell my boyfriend. I just need someone else's advice.


PreciousBaby19 - December 3

well if the condom didn't break then you should be fine. i have no idea about this condition he claims to have..i thought they only happened in the legs...and i googled it and can't really understand if there has been a case in the p___s...you are going to have to do a paternity test...you can do it while the baby is in the womb although it is a bit dangerous..you can try getting the paternity test with just you and your guy friend and not tell your boyfriend but honestly in a relationship..even when things have gone wrong and you've made a mistake..honesty is the best way to go. its going to make you feel better by telling him what happened. its giong to be tough and a strain on your relationship but will put it to the test...if you are confident in your relationship and you want to start things with him openly then you have to tell him the truth. all couples have very big problems but you have to work through it...if he finds out another way..its going to look even worse.


Grandpa Viv - December 3

The fetal age makes it likely you got pregnant Aug 4 and had an implantation bleed Aug 16. This is confirmed by your positive pregnancy test Sept 15, too soon to be the result of pregnancy from s_x in your September cycle. If you think back you will remember you were already feeling different at the beginning of September. Put the guy friend out of your thoughts and concentrate on keeping the boyfriend happy. Your s_x life before you were married is your business alone. Good luck!


Tootsie5c - December 3

Wait grandpa viv.... if she's 15 weeks...I put it into a calculator and it says probably date of conception would be Sept. 1 and her due date would be May 24. In that case, it's a close call. The fact that you were using protection should put your mind at ease a little though. You should still get a test though.


ChattyKathy - December 3

Sperm spend most of their lives in the sack, away from body heat, for a reason. A vein in the p___s would not effect the lives of the sperm whatsoever as they quickly pa__s through the p___s during ejaculation. But I agree with everyone else that your boyfriend is most likely the father. But for future reference, don't believe anything any man says when he talks about why he can't get you pregnant. 99% of the time, HE CAN.


Grandpa Viv - December 3

Yeah, Tootsie, thanks. I got to worrying about that calculation as I drove to town and came back to check. I must have skipped a month. Counting back 15 weeks and 2 days from Dec 3 takes us to Aug 22, probable ovulation on a 30 day cycle Fri Sept 7th meaning her positive test was 8 dpo - tight, but I'll buy it. If we go from her reported Aug 16 period, ovulation would have been the first day or two of Sept, and a positive test 14 dpo is very believable. It is likely that she was ovulating close to the time of the regretted episode, and that is what put her hormones in high enough gear to mis-step under the influence. Bad luck! I still believe that the guy friend's condom reduced the chance of his being the father to a negligible level compared to the boy friend who was having regular unprotected. Sure, if a paternity test after the baby is born is something that you want and can afford, go right ahead. God bless and good luck!


tish212 - December 3

I don't understand why most women on this site are such men haters....not all men lie cheat and steal...and just b/c a man may have done u wrong doesn't mean u have to a__sume all men are that way and talk crossly about another man u know nothing about Here is an article that proves her guy friend prolly wasn't lying about the varicose veins and being infertile.... A varicocele is a collection of enlarged (dilated) veins (blood vessels) in the s____m. It occurs next to and above one or both of the testes (t______es). The affected veins are those that travel in the spermatic cord. The spermatic cord is like a 'tube' that goes from each testis up towards the lower abdomen. You can feel the spermatic cord above each testis in the upper part of the s____m. The spermatic cord contains the vas deferens (the tube that carries sperm from the testes to the p___s), blood vessels, lymphatic vessels, and nerves. Normally, you cannot see or feel the veins in the spermatic cord that carry the blood from the testes. If you have a varicocele, the veins become bigger (they enlarge or dilate) and this makes them more prominent. It is similar to varicose veins of the legs. The size of a varicocele can vary. A large varicocele is sometimes said to look and feel like 'a bag of worms' in the s____m. Possible cause of infertility Studies have shown that there is a higher rate of infertility in men with a varicocele compared to those who did not have a varicocele. It is thought that the pooled blood causes a slightly higher temperature in the s____m than normal. This may reduce the number and quality of sperm made by the testis which can reduce fertility. Even if you have a varicocele only on one side, both testes can be warmed by the increased amount of blood pooled in the enlarged veins.


AddysMummy - December 4

It makes much more sense that your b/f is the father.


shevvi - December 5

i'd say its 90% likely its your bf. yeah honesty is a great thing in a relationship but i think if you told him the truth here then he would be heartbroken & would ruin your hole family. i think it would be best to learn from the mistake and never repeat it. GL with the pat test, hope it works out ok


TeenInNeed - December 5

Thanks everyone for your answers. It helps put my mind at ease, but there's still always that underlying gut feeling. I just wish I wouldn't have done it at all, or at least not so d__n close to my ovulation date. It also helps to hear that his condition might not be totally fake. Does anyone know if there's a non invasive paternity test you can do before the baby is born?


tish212 - December 5

teeninneed...please please for the safety of ur baby wait to do the paternity test.... to do it while pregnant requires a procedure called aminocentisis(sp) where they take a long needle to your belly and remove some amniotic fluid... it has a risk of miscarriage to it... I wouldn't risk it... I knew the condition he spoke of was real b/c I spent many years reading into infertility and that is one of the causes... and most men wouldn't just know about it so if he says he has it he probably does. ovulation is not an exact science so there is a high chance its ur bf...since u used a condom and he may have the variocele... I'm sorry I went off on ur thread but it upsets me that people automatically a__sume all men are liars.... I don't think he isn't trying to take responsibility I think he's trying to put ur mind at ease. wait until after birth to do the test... if u feel it is required... just know that they aren't cheap tests they can run over a grand for them depending on where u live.


EMMA2 - December 7

so why is this even a question if your one nighter used a condom which clearly did the job and didn't brake?


TeenInNeed - December 7

If you look closely, I asked about a condition, which I now know is called a varicocele. And condoms aren't fool proof, so I asked for some advice. Keep your b___hiness to yourself.


EMMA2 - December 7

Condoms work properly when they are not broken. So since it didn't then the question is not really a question . I think your paranoid because you feel guilty ! it's ok you'll have plenty of time to think about what you have done...i hope you come clean to your bf !


Tootsie5c - December 7

Jesus emma, in her question she didn't ask about the stupid condom, she asked if a condition was real or not. And EVERYONE worries about condoms, whether they break or not. They aren't foolproof, which is obvious by the high volume of teenagers on this site who THOUGHT they were protected. And I'm sure she feels guilty enough, we've all done things we regret. You're just some little girl sitting on her high horse trying to sound like you're better than everyone.


stillmourning - December 7

Don't pay any attention to Emma, honey...some people just like to make other people feel bad. Knowing you did wrong is enough. I wouldn't tell your bf, it will only hurt things. I wouldn't worry too much about the paternity test, I think it's very very likely that your bf is the daddy - and even if your guy friend is the daddy, what is it going to change? again, it would only upset things. If you and your bf are happy, just leave things as they are. Good luck.


grow_up - December 7

This is the best thing you can do if you don't want to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him. When the baby comes have the other guy take a dna test. If it comes back negative, then you know your boyfriend HAS to be the father and he never has to know what happened. It will eat at you if you don't know 100% sure the baby is his, even if there is only 1% of doubt in your mind. Not the most honest approach, but I think you owe it to your boyfriend, yourself, and the other guy to be able to look at your baby and know without a shred of doubt that your boyfriend is the father. The odds are obviously in his favor. The dna test will cost you a few hundred dollars but it sounds like it would be well spent.



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