Words Of Encouragment

6 Replies
beenthere2 - May 9

I just wanted to let all you teens know that things will be ok. I am now 36, and got preg. when I was 17 and a senior in highschool. With a little drive with or without support of family you can still do everything that you dream to do!! It is going to be harder, but with drive and self respect you can still do it. My parents told me that I was going to be a loser the rest of my life, that I would never find a man to love me, that I would drive a junky car the rest of my life and be on welfare. Well guess what? I went to college, I have a very good marriage, I drive a brand new truck and I have a VERY good job. My daughter is now 18, and she has not followed in my footsteps, but then again I have been very upfront and forward in raising her and answering her questions and talking about life. I think you CAN be a good mother and be a friend to your child, there is a fine line there but it can be done. Dont be a statistic that they talk about in articles that are just someones ignorant opinion on how a unwed pregnate teen's life will turn out. Because I know it can and will be different if you try.

 

itsmelissa - May 9

thank you.

 

young_mum_2_b - May 9

Thanks!! These are the type of things want and need to read about!! Thankyou beenthere2, its nice to know someone believes we can get through it! And congratulations to you on being such a successful young mum!

 

beenthere2 - May 10

You are very welcome. I mean what I said with all my heart. Rise above what others say and think and prove them wrong!! There are alot of programs out there to help you finish highschool and to get you further education, do not be afraid of using those programs. Also..(I may get booted off of here by other people my age) but just because you are pregnant DOES NOT mean you have to marry the guy if you do not want to. 2 wrongs do not make a right!! I did most everything I talked about without a man in my life and I am stronger for it. I will keep checking back on all of you!! Good Luck!!!!

 

shesdymed - May 11

omg u r such a motivation. since day one did u do it all by urself? or did u live with ur parents? . when did u start talking about your daughter when it came to s_x and all of that? how did u show her it was okay to run and ask u anythin and b so open with u ?

 

beenthere2 - May 11

Well, here is the story. I still lived at home with my mom and dad, they WERE NOT helpful at all. When they found out I was preg. I was told to not go anywhere but work because someone they know may see me and I would embara__s them. I was 7 mo along when they finally found out (a co-worker called my mom and invited her to my baby shower) I had hid my pregnancy from them, and told no one else that I had not told my parents. I was SOOO scared, if I told them that my parents would make me have and abortion, and I really wanted my baby, I knew I could not say no to my parents. So when they found out they told me to give her up for adoption to someone that could love her and give her a good life. When she was born she went home with a friend who did foster care for 10 hours and I could not take it, so I finally stood up for myself and for my daughter and told them I would not give her up. My parents still were not supportive, and they have never babysat for me (well now Ash is 18). I never asked them to. I lived under their roof for 6 mo with her and finally had enough mistreatment from my parents (mental abuse: Saying I was a loser, never amount to anything unworthy to find a good husband...BLAH BLAH BLAH) that I moved out. It was hard, but I made it work. I found a job in medical coding for work comp claims and they trained me. I got married, had another daughter when I was 20, got divorced from him because he did not want to work, stayed single for 6 years, until I met my now husband, we have been married for almost 10 years. My daughters are 16 and 18 now, once they graduate we are going to try to have one more baby, god permitting. As far as talking about s_x with my girls, well it began early, kids naturally ask questions about s_x and all sorts of things, so I just gave enough information depending on the age. Like when they are 4 and wonder why Cousin Tommy is made different then her, when they are 7 and hear from a friend with a older sister about periods. Just do not be afraid to answer. I also DID NOT parent with intimidation like the way I grew up. Kids will be kids, they make messes, you teach them by having them help you clean the mess up, no reason to yell (hard to learn for some parents), messes clean up, they wanted to play in the dirt or mud in the back yard, I did not freak out I let them, because you can bathe them and wash their clothing. When they got older and step out of line, I quickly put them back in line, with love and compa__sion for their feelings. I did everything opposite of what my parents did. I do not belittle, hara__s, call names or make them feel bad about themselves. It is hard and these are lessons that took me awhile to figure out because honestly I missed alot of fun times by being freaked out if the kids made a mess, or got muddy in the back yard. But then this thing called maturity snuck up on me, and I stood back and looked at my life and how I was raising my girls and changed myself. My daughters are my children but they are also my friends, they trust me and tell me most everything. If they came home today and said they were preg. I would be upset, but I would not freak out, and we would deal with it. The worst advice I ever ever got was from my dad: He said, (this was on the way home from the hospital without my daughter) " Follow your head and not your heart. You know what is the right thing to do, and that is to let that baby have a life since you have ruined yours........." STill stings like he just said it ti me....... feel sorry for my dad, he is still angry and mean spirited, I wonder if he has ever been happy his whole life.

 

GreenAngel9 - May 11

Thanx. My mom knows that I may be pregnant but my bf's doesnt. And if I am, I don't really know if I'd want to tell her. I don't want her to think bad of me or anything like that. My mom is pretty supportive of me. She's a single mom of 3. And the rest of my family seems like yours. They don't know I may be pregnant, but I know they'll react in almost the same way.

 

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