Young Single Alone And Depressed

5 Replies
hope - May 11

Since I was 13, I was forced to see a psychiatrist to deal with my problems. I’m scared because I know that when this child is born, I wouldn’t be fit to raise her. I can’t even take care of myself. People say I lived a spoiled life, whatever life I lived, I didn’t want to let it go. In a month’s time, I’m going to have to force myself to support and raise a child on my own. I am already prepared to go through post partum depression, and I’ve heard that when you go through that, you end up rejecting your own child. I feel awful for having thoughts like that. I tried to opt for abortion. But when I was in the room with the doctor, all I could think about was my little sister. My mother gave birth last year, and she’s our little bundle of joy. I’m totally in love with her, and I couldn’t bare the fact knowing that I was going to come home knowing that I killed something so innocent. The biological father immediately got another girlfriend the week after I told him I was pregnant. I definitely wasted 2 years of my life trying to devote myself to him. He was my first everything. I was stupid enough to give up my chance to a better education, my friends, and family’s trust just to be with him. Today, single, 18, and 8 months pregnant, I am definitely the one at loss. I’m in a place where my family and friends are hundreds and thousands of miles away from me. I’m breaking down everyday, and I hate hurting my baby because of my depression. I want to be able to get over my depression, I just need help in trying to do so. I have never felt so alone in my life and it’s the worst feeling. Please help me find ways to make the pain go away.

 

Audrey - May 11

Hope- Have you thought about adoption? Or can you move cloesr to your family? There are still options that you can explore. It's sad that the baby's father was so irresponsible and chose to skip out. Hold your head up and say that it's his loss and your gain. You can be stronger if you put your mind to it. :)

 

Jen - May 11

We all feel alone sometimes. You will feel better. Force yourself to meet people and other preg girls to be friends with. Guys suck sometimes, a lot of the time. I'm sorry you are so sad...thigs will get better. Where is your family?

 

Amanda - May 11

Well go see a doctor about the feelings that you are having. Also if you do consider adoption please contact me. We would love to care for your baby. Or if you just need to talk email me at [email protected]

 

Hope - May 12

My family are in the philippines and i'm in LA. I can't travel anymore, i'm too late into the pregnancy. And adoption is definitely not a choice because my family is against that. I have been seeing a doctor and he diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. I'm even more scared now than ever! Thanks for your thoughts! it means much.

 

karen - May 14

I feel for you. I have not seen my parents for 5 years for several reasons. They live in NY and I cant bring myself to fly there since 9-11. I also lost my aunt and grandma who live three and five houses away. I was very close to my aunt. I have two sisters who I never talk to...for no reason...and a brother I have not talked to for 25 years. He lives a couple miles from my parents but he stopped talking and seeing us shortly after his best friend died of a heart attack at 22 yrs old. I have another brother who I talked to on occasion when he answers my parents phone. He is 8 years older than me (48). Its funny because we talk more like equals now rather than seeing me as his little sister. He is the brother who has dinner at my parents often, and is on speaking terms with all of my siblings. I think he started to change after 9-11 when his best friends wife came home with a litter of puppies found next to the trade centers. From the litter he adopted his first child, spot. Biologically spot is a canine, but you would not know that to hear him or my parents talk. Both of my parents are in their 70's and were agains ever having a dog again...let alone one over 80 lbs. In a two month period, my mother injured both shoulder joints when Spot took off before she did while walking him to his playdate. So what happened to Spot? Did they get find a new home for this over zealous pooch? I think they would find a new home for my mom before they did that. While many people see animals as pests, unemployed dependants, or useless, my family has always used animals as subst_tutions for they could not always get in humans. I have not dated for a long time due to illness. I have had many bouts with depression wondering why I am always sick and now after finding out that I am through menopause and can not have kids. Not that I could have them before. Anyway...many people ask me how I can live alone..I must get so lonely. I find that so totally bizarre. I live with a dog, wolf, 4 cats and two parrots. Right now I have 7 cats because I had rescued 38 stray cats (all black) and three of them are too wild for the animal rescue group to take in. Lonely? Im glad to go to work and get some piece and quiet. I am not saying that a pet will solve your problems..or even make them better. They may make them worse since your life is not very settled at the moment. But perhaps if you signed up with a local animal rescue group, you could foster momma cats and their kittens...or a small puppy until it can find a home. This way you will not have to worry about not having a home for the animal if you have to move and yet have the feeling that you have saved a life that otherwise would have ended in the pound with a cold needle. Remember, these homeless animals are unwanted pets. The phrase unwanted just make me nausous. How can a small kitten be so unwanted that to kill it would be better? The little kitten needs a home and a family just like you do. You may find yourself so focused on the kitten that your problems are forgotten. While your life has its ups and downs at times, you are not facing the choice of being killed because your family is not with you physically but they are mentally. You will live if they do not call you every week. You do not need them to feed you and keep you warm. You can stand on your own and survive with your abilities. This small animal can not. It will not be easy at first. And if the kitten is adopted by a family and no longer needs your love and care to survive...foster another animal. For each animal that you lose to another caring family...it is another reason to be happy to see it go. You now have the chance to save another life and realize that you are making a difference to those who have no voices. PS...This apparently only works with animals. Adopt-a-plant will not have the same effect. Unfortunately I had the idea to buy some really nice plants last spring. Unfortunately you have to remember to water them. Fortunately Home Depot takes back all plants that die. Lesson learned. Although I had pets all of my life and learned the importance of pet responsibility early, I was also banned from even watering the houseplants for fear of killing them. Just last week my mother called to tell me that a ficus plant(I think) she has for years had reached 35 feet long and was donated to a sanctionary. She also had to add the fact that it did so because I was not there to breathe my death wish upon it. Really who cares. When was the last time a plant would welcome me home after I had returned from checking my mailbox anyway? Cheer up. If you ever need to talk...my email is [email protected] I hope that you feel better. Also have you heard that the more animals you have around a baby, the less likely it will have allegies? Its true.

 

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