Quot Push Present Quot For Daddy

23 Replies
D - October 26

Anyone getting the daddy's a "push present?" I mean, it's not like we got here alone or anything... If so, what are you doing? I was thinking of a watch (with a second hand of course), but other than that, I have no idea...


erin - October 26

I have never heard of this "push present"? I am even prego with 3rd baby..Can you fill us in?


Jaci - October 26

Yes, please fill us in. I haven't heard of this. I never thought of getting my hubby anything...I would like to know. I told him that he's supposed to get me something...he wouldn't have known...he doesn't read things or know anyone close that's had kids. But, this sounds sweet....so, let us know.


Linds - October 26

well i am really out of the loop, i didnt know i was suppose to get him anything and i didnt even know he should be getting me something...but hey sounds good to me :)


kr - October 27

D, thanks for bringing it up. I was planning on getting my DH something also. I was thinking of it in the same way that it's good to get something for the older sibling of a newborn(,ha,ha,ha). I was thinking of a toy he could "share" with the baby, like a remote control car. Any ideas????


Lesley - October 27

Nooooo way am I getting my partner anything! I have bought something for my son and daughter which will be given to them when they come in the hospital to see their new baby brother and thats the only people that get anything. I have went through the whole pregnancy, labour and giving birth - whats he done? I have never heard of a push present though.


pbj - October 27

I think by the time we spend money preparing for our daughter they'll be none left. I really don't understand this gift thing, the gift is my daughter.


Mary - October 27

I am giving him a son, stretch marks for him to kiss forever, a big flabby belly for him to deal with until I can get rid of it and sleepless nights. What else can he ask for?


JL - October 27

Mary, you go girl! I am with you! :)


D - October 27

Sorry for the delay! Really the "push present" is for the mom, but he's been so great, I want to get something for him as well... Here's an article on "push presents" in general... 'Push Presents' Expected From Expectant Fathers Tuesday, October 14, 2003 By Catherine Donaldson-Evans Men who thought their lavish-jewelry duties were over after they purchased the engagement ring might get a shock when their babies are born. That's when it's time to shop for the "push present." But a bouquet of flowers won't usually cut it. Nowadays, many husbands are expected to buy expensive presents to thank their wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor. The latest gift-giving occasion is just one more for men to add to their list -- along with Valentine's Day, birthdays, holidays and the all-important anniversary. "My husband does not believe in jewelry, so I saw it as the perfect opportunity to cash in on the whole societal pressure thing," laughed Seattle mom Julie Leitner, 32, who got a white gold and diamond bracelet in the $800-$1,500 price range when her daughter was born. Push presents, which are usually jewelry but don't have to be, have gained popularity in the last few years. Once one new mother gets such a gift, her friends embrace the trend and pa__s the word on to their hubbies. "I'd been told by so many people that you're supposed to get one that I just a__sumed it was the norm," said Leitner. But many men are clueless about the concept. Some aren't even very involved in buying the actual present. "I wouldn't necessarily say the gift was from me," said Bruce Owen, 35, of Oakland, Calif. "[My wife] picked it out. She bought it. It was more as if I didn't have a choice." Owen said he didn't mind saying yes to the "baby bauble" -- a pair of diamond-cluster earrings that cost a couple of thousand dollars -- when his 2 1/2-year-old daughter was born. "I recognized the incredible sacrifice and difficulty of carrying a baby for nine months," said the real estate professional. The tradition of husbands giving their wives gifts to commemorate the birth of a baby has some longstanding cultural roots. In England, the man is expected to buy the woman an elegant ring. In India, a husband bestows a set of gold jewelry upon his wife -- offering more elaborate baubles for boy babies than girls. And recently, some of those customs have made their way over to the U.S. The British husband of Philadelphia mom Miryam Roddy was the one to introduce her to the idea of birth jewelry after she had their 1-year-old daughter. "That's the way things are done in England," said Roddy, 37, who got a gold and diamond ring. "First he got me a rose with a little note. A day or two later, he brought me the ring. It was such a surprise. I didn't expect anything else." Roddy balked at the notion of spending big money on baby baubles, and even told her husband she hoped he hadn't dropped a bundle. "To spend thousands of dollars on something is ridiculous," she said. "In my mind, that's money better saved for the child's education." Etiquette expert Pamela Holland said that unlike other gift-giving situations, this one shouldn't have set guidelines. "The standard is that there is no standard," she said. "It does make sense to have etiquette around wedding or baby shower gifts because you're inviting other people into it. But this is far too intimate to have a rule." In that vein, the push-present practice is pa__sed along mainly by word-of-mouth. "There isn't a book or rule guide considered universal on the issue of gift-giving at the birth of a child," said Holland. "It's like any trend -- you hear of it, a wife mentions it to a husband and then it gets spread down to generations." Owen's wife, for instance, learned of the custom from her female friends. "It was a peer build-up with all the other ladies talking about this," said Owen. "It became, 'What did you get?' so obviously something had to be done." But the peer pressure isn't confined to groups of women. Men have also been known to rib each other about push presents. One New York City mom said that's what happened to her hedge-fund a___lyst husband after their son was born. "He was kind of hazed at work for not getting me anything," said the 32-year-old investment banker. "So he said, 'Do you want diamond earrings or a weekend away?' I've never been a big jewelry person. I picked a weekend away." Not surprisingly, a couple's financial situation is a big factor in deciding how to handle the push present. But budget aside, it's often just a simple gesture of appreciation that really counts. "My sister suggested [expensive jewelry], and I told her she was nuts," said UPS driver Mike Compierchio, 36, of Verona, N.J., who has a 7-month-old baby girl. "We didn't have the money to spend on some extravagant gift. [My wife] thought it was a silly idea too. So I got her flowers when she was in the hospital."


Steph - October 27

I hadn't thought of this - I don't think I will be getting him anything right away - especially since Christmas is right around the corner, he will get something special then for being a first time daddy from his little girl.


D - October 27

My theory is nothing lavish... Just something fun to mark the occasion. Kr, I think the remote control car idea is great! Except for him it would have to be a Jeep! ;-) However, I'd love to figure out something practical I could get inscribed with some "Daddy" type verbiage, maybe verbiage to Daddy from the baby. Any ideas???


kr - October 27

D- It is so funny you said jeep, that's what I meant. My DH loves his and I got him a jeep liberty stroller and diaper bag to match. There are so many jeep baby products out there. It might seem silly, but if he is into cars you could inscribe a key ring. He would get use out of it, and it would be a reminder. Speaking of presents- in my family we get baby rings for new infants. Does anyone else do that?


Jodie - October 27

My man will be lucky if i dont scratch his eyeb___s out during labour, so my "gift" to him will be resisting the urge to kill him


lisa - October 27

sorry i was going to say, hello the dad gets a push present???? who gets the world cup trophy? the players or the spectators!! surely the man buys the women a huge bunch of flowers, several new outfits, a box or chocolates, and a big diamond ring to say thankyou for birthing their child???? ;-)


lisa - October 27

oh jodie, i just read your thread and ill totally double that, in china i hear they attatch a string up over the curtain rail onto the mans b___s, when the women feels a contraction she yanks the string so he can appreciate the pain, ill just tell hubby hes lucky to not be getting that and im sure he will be over the moon. (mabie thats why they only have one child in china)


Christy - October 28

As much as I am all for a little post-delivery bling, I think it is a bit much to expect it. With that said, I never even considered buying my husband a gift for the delivery. I like D's idea of a watch with a second hand, or something that they can enjoy with the kid(s), but in all reality, I probably won't do anything. It is a nice idea, but I don't want to set any precedents. LOL! :)



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