A Concern Keeping Me Up At Night Advice Anyone

12 Replies
DaBonkElsMe - November 19

I am due Dec 10th. On Nov 26th and 27th my husband has to go on a business trip 5 hours away. I am freaking out that I might go into labor while he's not here. It would be two weeks early, do you think I should be worried? I am loosing sleep over this. I have a Dr appt tomorrow and i am going to ask her opinion, but even if she says there is a chance I could go early, I don't know if it'll matter. My DH's boss is such that if he stays home and missing these meetings, and I don't give birth for another 2 or more weeks, he will be really upset with my DH. But if my husband goes, and I do go into labor, I'm going to freak out. I have NO family here and only one neighbor who would be willing to drive me to the hospital if need be, but really I hardly know them, and would be so upset if that's how this whole things happens! My DH would be upset too, He has been preparing and looking forward to this as much as I have. I giess I am just looking for some reassurance, or advice. Should I push my DH to stay home, even though I know I may not have this baby for a while? And risk his boss getting really p___sed at him? Or should I make it easier for him by pretending it's not really bothering me this much? What would you do???

 

cattac - November 19

You know what...the same thing happened to me (kind of) and my friend's sister. First me...my second son was due last october. My induction was scheduled at 38.6 for the 19th and my mom was coming the 17th. I was soooo scared and paranoid she wouldn't make it here for my labor and to take care of my older son who was almost 2 at the time. Literally I was so worried and my body was so tense I dont think I let myself go into labor. My mom came into town around 2pm...contractions started around 5pm that day and I went to the hospital the next day and had him. I think once she got here I let myself relax and I just went into labor. Now for my friend's sister....her husband's mom suddenly died- she was about 38 weeks...he had to leave to go to South Africa where his mom lived. She was sooo upset and paranoid she would go into labor. Seriously...literally the DAY he came back she went into labor and she had the baby. I think a lot of town if you're so worried about something like that once you let your body relax you go into labor.

 

Erins Mom - November 19

I would have dh stay home unless you think he'd be fired over it. Having the boss po'd a little is way better than dh missing the birth of your child imho.

 

Tory1980 - November 19

Personally that close to your due date I would be keeping hubby home. As for the boss being pee'ed off - tough. If baby was here before then wouldn't your hubby be off on paternity leave anyway? There is ways around him being there (conference calls, faxes,etc) and for your husbands boss to expect him to do that trip seems a little unfair. If you and hubby make the decision he is going do so with the proviso his mobile will remain on no-matter what just in case and should you go into labour he will be leaving immediately. If the boss isn't happy with that I would be hunting for a job asap because he will only be worse after the baby is born!

 

DaBonkElsMe - November 19

If he does go, he would definitely keep his phone on and if I called and told him to come home, he would leave immediately no matter what. As i said, he wants to be here for the birth and would never forgive himself if he missed it. And he would not be fired, his boss can't fire him over this. I just don't know what to do. I don't think i will go this early, but one can never really know. And if I really ask him to stay he will, but part of me wants to make it easier on him and just act like I am not so worried, and then just hope for the best!! Thanks for your input.

 

Krissy25 - November 19

Let me just say this, i had my dr. appt just a little before i was 37 weeks, and i had so signs that labor was close, no diation and no effacement. A few days later my water broke and i started to go into labor with in the hour. I'm not saying that will happen to you but it could. Really you are at the point where it could happen any day now.

 

star_eyes - November 19

I would definitely have my DH stay home. His boss will get over it. However, if for some reason your husband missed the birth he would not get over it. Not to mention it's not good for you to be losing sleep and feeling so stressed out. It's not like you're being selfish at all or anything like that. This is the birth of your child you're talking about and what if your neighbor isn't available at the time or something like that?! Good luck to you.

 

DaBonkElsMe - November 19

UGH!!! I don't know what to do! I know I want him to stay home,and I know he should stay home, but I don't want to ask him to stay and then nothing happens! It's so frustrating that we can't have further warning about when it's really gonna happen!

 

tgirl - November 25

Hi DaBonkelsme, I am also due on 12/10 and just last Monday at 37wks. had my cerclage(st_tch to hold baby in due to incompetant cervix)removed and could go any day now! When in the hospital I was having contractions even before they removed the st_tch! I am pretty sure I lost my mucous plug on Friday and have been having cramping on and off. Along with my stomach tightening on and off also! Some good signs I hope! Monday I go back to Dr. and see what he says. As of last Monday I was also 2-3cms. dialated. Curious to see if I dilated anymore or what is going on? I understand about the boss dilema-its not fair you should worry about if your hubby will be there when you deliver or not and quite honestly your hubby's boss probably doesn't care! I know mine wouldn't! I have been on bed rest and disability since the end of July and my stupid boss keeps saying how soon will I be back! He says like Januaryish! Meanwhile I have had major surgery and a complicated removal and again they don't care! My hubby's job is fairly new(he started in May)so he won't have too much time off! He told his boss who seems to be nice enough that he will be out a couple of days and she said of course just when I deliver to let her know how long! He probably will only take a week being that he will not be getting paid! So I understand when it comes to bosses and how all they care is about the business! I would tell my hubby to stay home, but you can't risk his job! Don't know how you receive benefits! I can't let my hubby risk his job either! Disability sucks and we need the money and benefits! Good luck and sorry so long!

 

Liezel - November 25

Well, I would be worried too.... but the way I look at it is your DH will be 5 hours away.... which isn't soooo bad. It's not like he will be on the other side of the world and it will take him 20+ hours to get to you by plane. Another thing to consider is if he is flying or driving? If driving, then perhaps he can rent a car and if you go into labour he could always just fly back to you which should be about a 1 hour flight. If he is flying then another thing you can look at is that most labours from the onset take hours, so if your water breaks or you start feeling contractions then you just contact him and he could be on the next flight out. I think you will be fine and that he should go, besides it is only a 2 day trip, not 2 weeks. I'm sure you will be fine and baby will hang on till mommy and daddy are together. As cattac said... it will probably happen when your body relaxes after he is back. I wouldn't risk his job, since that may be your only major income while on maternity leave. Hope everything works out for you. Remember he is probably worried too. Good luck =)

 

DaBonkElsMe - November 25

Thanks again. As of now, I have been having sporadic but stronger contractions all weekend, so he is going to try to get out of going, but we are still not sure. He is driving, and the drive a rental than fly back idea, seems like a good one, but where he will be will be 1and a half hours from the airport and we live an hour from ours, so if he was going to fly back, it would be 3 and a half hours anyway, and that's without any delays or problems. He'd rather have his car and be in control. I don't think I'll go into labor this soon, but one never knows. So we'll see what happens. Thanks for the advice, good luck to you too!

 

DaBonkElsMe - November 26

I was thinking the same thing!! But good news! DH is staying home! He called his boss on Sunday and after the holiday I guess the guy was in a good mood, b/c he said he would hate to have me stressing out at the end of my pregnancy like that. So DH does not have to leave now! I am so relieved, you have no idea! Especially since I have been having contractions on and off since yesterday! I would be freaking out if he were not goint o be home until Wednesday!!!

 

Liezel - November 27

I'm glad everything worked out for you. Good luck with your labour =)

 

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