Anyone Ever Had Their Partner Check Dilation

10 Replies
momofalmost3 - July 11

I'm seriously thinking about having my hubby check to see how dilated I am. I learned how to do it on the net last night and think he could as well. Of course I can't reach! But I plan on staying home as long as possible before going into the hospital in active labor. I don't want to wait too long. My midwife said I could stay home till about 8 cm or until I felt a lot of pressure. I'm 39 weeks and 2 days. I also wonder if there is a way to have him strip membranes. I know how to tell him to do this because my friend who's a midwife has done it to me once this pregnancy and three times last pregnancy.


Tanna - July 11

I have read where women check there own dialation, although I don't know how to do it. The stripping the membranes thing though I don't think I would attempt. I did read that only a Dr. should do that, and even then it is not without risks.


dee23 - July 12

momofalmost3, i would love to know how u found out the the technique for your hubby to do this. my doc refuses doing internals, they dont even check for strep b. im 39 weeks and am extreamly curious as to if i have dialated, even though i know that it doesnt mean much in the long run. does he need to be wearing sterile gloves before he attemps it? what method will he use or do u have a web site with directions? im not sure if its the safest way to go about things, but im all for it if its done with sterile fingers and in the right, careful way. althoguh im not sure he would be so he has heard that it isnt something he should be doing...maybe i can convince him? who knows. also just curious, do u live really close to your hospital? i would love to hang about home til i was 8 cm's! im only 5 minutes away by car, but they dont support staying home that long.....maybe i will anyway. anywho, if u can inform me how to to home checking, that would be appreciated, cheers :0


LollyM - July 12

I am really interested in this idea as well... I suppose it couldn't really hurt the baby at all as long as everything is clean. I mean, If you are dilated and don't even know it and are still having s_x with hubby, how could that be any worse than having him check you? I really want to know if I'm dilated also! I would have mine check if I could explain to him how to do it!


Ca__sie06 - July 12

haha. I dont have a clue how to do this, but I just wanted to say there is no way my hubby could have checked my cervix!! I went in last night and was checked (I am 50% effaced and 1 cm dilated, yea!) and I swear the nurse had her whole arm in there!! She said my cervix was back and up really high, and she had to lay the bed down all the way and search to find it. He would have been convinced something was wrong if he had tried to do it himself! The look on his face was priceless while she was checking me!! He said there wasnt a point in s_x anymore after I went through all that he couldnt do anything for me!! lol. I hate to see what he thinks when the baby actually comes out!


momofalmost3 - July 12

Hi guys, I wish I could remember the website but I can't. Here's what it said. You use your pointer and middle finger. Put your middle finger on top of your pointer finger kind of like scizzors. If you then raise your middle finger as far up as you can and put your pointer finger as far down as you can, that's 10 cm. So then he just has to guess about how far he had them apart. I'm not real fond of that one but this one makes sense to me. They said to have him get his tape measure out and put his fingers on the tape measure to see what one finger is, two fingers side by side is, etc. My midwife says one finger is one cm, two next to each other is two cm, and three cm is your pointer and middle spread apart just a tiny bit. After that she didn't explain. Anyway, make sure after he's done looking and touching the tape measure he washes his hands REAL well but no he doesn't need gloves on. He's your parter, his p___s has been in you. How sterile is THAT!? LOL Since I have an appointment today I'm not going to have him check me. But a good idea for the lady who had a fist up her (I have that every time practically OUCH) is my midwife just asked me last time to put my fists under my bottom and lay on them. She didn't hurt me at all this last time reaching up there because it tilts your cervix/uterus back and makes it very easy to reach. So even if your Dr. or Midwife doesn't ask you to do that, I would anyway. Makes their job a lot easier! I live 20 min. from my hospital but it's my first v____al birth (had 2 c sections) so I don't think it's going to go fast. She said usually the quickest a person has a baby is pushing for an hour once you are 10 cm so I'm not worried. I'm closer to one hospital by 10 min. if I had to go to that one but they don't support vbacs so I'd have to go in crowning.


MEO - July 12

the cervix could be far back or it could be close - I tried to check my own last week in the shower (thought if the doc can feel it why can't I) but there is really a lot of texture to the inside of your v____a so I was totally guessing on what was even supposed to be the cervix - obviously you can fit at least few fingers just into the v____a so unless you know what the cervix is going to feel like and how to know if it's open or not, at home internals may be just something fun to try... but I don't know. If someone finds something that corroborates with a doctor's findings, let us know! Yah, it wouldn't need to be sterile gloves and the doc only wears clean gloves because that is standard precautions. If you or your husband or whomever has washed hands well (this was my idea with doing it in the shower) and you are both comfortable with the skin to skin contact then no gloves should be needed. My husband was kind of worried when I told him I had tried to check myself because he was worried I would hurt the baby but I pointed out that if he was worried about my little fingers "up there" then s_x was definitely out of the question... he got over it :)


piratesmermaid - July 12

I had my hubby check me about a week ago. (I'm currently 39 1/2 weeks) He wore a glove and used a bit of ky to help decrease the discomfort. At our childbirth cla__s they had a plastic example of the cervix at various stages of dialation. It was 3D, not just a picture, and my hubby studied that thing for a while! Often you'll find the same thing in the doctor's office, so if your hubby goes with you, ask if you can see it. My hubby couldn't tell me a % of effacement, but he could tell that it was progressing, and he guessed that I was 1.5-ish cm dialated at the time (a fingertip is close to a cm), and he wasn't far off! When I went to the doctor's a couple days later, my midwife said I was around 2 cm.


Patti - July 12

Okay, I'll admit I've checked myself w/ my last pregnancy. When I knew I was 2 cm dilated I started checking myself. I could tell when I had dilated more and that my cervix was thinning. Keep in mind I carried really low and barely had to go in. Then one night I was having horrible cramps, groin pain and contractions that were not regular all night. I checked myself and knew I was at least 5cm, and could feel the bag of waters and the baby's head. I was almost 8 cm when I got to the hospital. I thought I was the only one who even considered dong this, lol!!! I will do it again as I get a little closer. I'm only 32 weeks now. I can't say my dh would do or or know how. I just was used to checking my cervix when ttc and it's no big deal to me. Oh, the stripping the membranes thing...I don't know that I'd go that far because I'd be afraid of doing something wrong and putting the baby at risk.


Tanna - July 12

I did some reading on this last night and I learned that you should either wear a glove or have very clean hands. You should not attempt this if you are more prone to pre-mature labor, and what you are feeling for is something with the same consistancy as the tip of your nose. There will be a "center" to this, which is the opening you are going for. Oh, momofalmost3, if I understood you correctly your Dr. or midwife told you most women push for atleast an hour? I only pushed for both of my kids for 15 min. tops. I don't know how accurate the hour thing is because I have heard a lot of women day they didn't push long at all. I don't think I personally would hang out at home banking on the pushing taking atleast an hour. : )


momofalmost3 - July 13

Yeah I am not going to wait that long. I really don't think I can! Last night I had contractions three min. apart for the entire night but they didn't get any worse. Then they just stopped. That's the second time this has happened. Today I had accupuncture done so we'll see but I remember the pain now! OUCH!



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