Anyone Have This Problem

5 Replies
amandababy - January 19

Anyone else being told that they are being to lazy? My fiance and I recently moved into my brother's dads house (he and my mom are no longer together). The dad moved into his mom's b/c she is sick and he wanted someone here to watch the house and it also helps us save money for the baby. Anyways, my mom decided she didn't want to pay her rent anymore so she and my two little brothers moved in here a few months after us. She said she would be helping me out. Problem 1: My brothers can't share a room so I no longer have a room for my baby (due in 10 weeks) and very little space in the bedroom as we had to make room for them. As for her helping me out, she meant me doing any and all housework so "my labor isn't so hard on me". Hence, I clean the house, do the laundry, make the meals, and do all shopping for 5 people now. To make it worse, she works 1/2 before my youngest brother goes to school so I get to fight with him every morning to get him up and ready, then in the day do all the house work, shopping, and getting dinner started. She gets home around 3 and locks herself in her bedroom ALL NIGHT. As dinner is cooking, I have to go pick my other brother up from after school sports, then come home and eat and clean up the dinner mess. Because she stays in her room all night I have to put the boys to bed as well. I feel like I'm raising her 2 kids and will be burnt out on doing things by the time my first is here. She says it's good for me to get used to it, but isn't this a little ridiculous? She doesn't pay the bills her (brother's dad still does) so she can't say I'm earning my keep!!!

 

Confused - January 20

Sounds like your mom is giving you a snow job. Don't let her send you on an unnecessary guilt trip. She's responsible for your brothers (though it's very kind of you to help out), and I'm amazed that she would show such insensitivity/selfishness towards you, her daughter, during the latter part of pregnancy. She sounds like she's being more of a child than your siblings or the baby that you'll soon be giving birth to. Is there no where else you could stay? Other relatives, perhaps? I'd hate to think she could get worse after the baby's born, but given how she's behaving now could raise some concerns.

 

Rachael - January 20

Sounds to me like it's your mom who's the lazy one. That's all so unfair, putting all that pressure on you, when you should be taking it easy. I think I'd have to move out if I was in your position. Even though you may not be able to save money, your baby won't care. I'm sure baby will be happier in a tiny apartment with two loving and unstressed parents than s/he would be in the current situation. Good luck. :o)

 

yungmama - January 20

Talk to her. Tell her you don't care if she thinks you're lazy. That you are going to rest and prepare for YOUR child not take care of hers. Also tell her that you will not be cooking (atleast everynight) and if she wants to eat she will start pitching in. Is there any way you could just get her out of there? She only moved in cause she didn't WANT to pay her rent. That is some bs. I would not put up w it. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

 

Ginny - January 20

You are WAY more patient than I could have been! Your mom is taking advantage of you. As long as you are the responsible one, she doesn't have to be. Perhaps you could take the pa__sive aggressive route, and just slack off. Make a very small dinner and keep it in your room - when your brothers ask about dinner, tell them to go ask their mom. When it's time to pick up your brothers, knock on her door and give her a firm reason that you can't, then lock yourself in your room. If the boys don't get picked up, the coach or teacher will hold HER responsible, not you. And just stop doing the laundry - at some point, she'll figure it out. But if she is one of those people who is manipulative (which it sounds like she is) she's going to find some way to make you feel like a horrible person for carrying her weight. So, prepare yourself to simply ignore her. Don't answer questions as to why you're not doing the things she wants you to do - you are her daughter, not her maid, and you owe her zero explanations. And I hope things change for the better! Let us know how it goes!

 

amandababy - January 22

My fiance just told me that he was looking at a house he was wanting to buy. I was talking to my mom about it and she doesn't want me to buy a house. She says it's because of the neighborhood (which isn't that great) but I don't know if she's worried her built in maid/babysitter will be gone. I'm excited about buying my own house and having space and a room for my baby and two extra rooms to really start my family. But, I don't want to rush into anything just to get away from all this mess. What do u think?

 

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