Fired For Not Being Married

26 Replies
dy - July 6

i taught in a Christian school for the last 3 years. Im not married so when i got pregnant this past january, i told the administrators that if i needed to leave b/c i set a bad example i would totally understand. They thought about it and told me that we all make mistakes and it was okay for me to stay and we discussed what grade i would teach the following year. A couple of weeks before school was over they told me that i could not come and work in their summer program and that they would not renew my contract for the next school year. their rationale: it's wrong to have a baby if you're not married, they suggested that i just get married and then i could come back. they said that getting married would fix what i did wrong and then my child would have a family ( which made me furious, saying that my fiance my child and i were not a family) they told me that my other option was to take a year off, get s ome counseling and spend time reconciling with God and then i could come back. I think this is totally ridiculous. As a Christian, i know i was wrong for having s_x before i was married. But i shouldn't be punished for not getting married when they want me to. anyone have an opinion on this?


Revel - July 6

im sorry but id sue there b___ts tahts just wrong!! can they legally do taht? why would you want to teach for stuck up peaple like that :( that just makes me very very very mad!


Atarahsmommy - July 6

In their defense they want to set a good Christian example for the students (although I really don't think most Christian schools do or care about whats right, I think that the students are just as bad as in regular school, but I may be wrong I didn't go to a Christian school) And in your defense you went and asked them if you need to leave and they said no, if they wanted you not to come back they should have said so then. Also, just a question is there a reason that you are waiting to get married, not that I think you should get married just so you can keep your job, that wouldn't be the right reason, but you sound like a nice Christian lady so wouldn't you feel better if you could be right in the sight of God, but then again what does a piece of paper have to do with being right in the sight of God. I don't know its kind of confusing stuff, sorry for rambling on your post. When are you planning on getting married? You said Fiance right? Maybey you could take some time off untill then anyway, it would be good to be able to spend time with your baby anyway, they grow up so fast, but the counseling thing I wouldn't do the only counseling you need is between you and God not some guy (or girl) with a degree


ashley - July 6

yeah thats discrimination. I agree with REVEL. Seriously get your phone book out and consult an attorney. OR give them a call and give them once chance to change their minds before consulting with an attorney. (let them know that you plan to get an attorney if they don't give you your job back. with or without marriage.)


CyndiG - July 6

Yes Revel, they can do that. They are a private Christian school and can do whatever they want. They aren't governed by the same laws as public schools. Dy, forgiveness is the whole point of Christianity. So I understand where you're coming from. I think they should have came up with this decision when you first approached them and not waited till the end of the year. And getting married isn't necessarily the answer. And not being married doesn't not make you a "family", but as a parent of a child in a private Christian school, I do understand their point of view. I would be very upset if I had to explain to my child that her teacher is pregnant and not married and it's ok. Because it's not ok. It goes against what I'm trying to teach her, (at home and at school) that s_x before marriage is wrong, and babies are a blessing that God grants within a marriage. So as a Christian, I totally agree with forgiveness, repent and make it right with God, and all's well. But as a parent, I agree with the school that you shouldn't teach and be an example to the kids until those things have happened. And as long as you are "living together", and not married, those things have not happened. Because if you knew it was wrong to have s_x, then you also know it's wrong to live together, which seems like you're squelching the Holy Spirit. That's my opinion, from a parents point of view. Lot's of prayer is what it will take to fix this. Good luck and know that God and Jesus loves you regardless. He is standing with His arms wide open, waiting for you to respond to Him.


ashley - July 6

unless its in YOUR contract with the school that being married/pregnant is a must they CAN NOT fire you for it.


CyndiG - July 6

They didn't "fire" her, they just chose not to renew her contract.....


Been There - July 6

Actually, it's not discrimination if they can prove that what DY did is against their principles. If their main purpose is teaching Christian principles and what you have done or exhibit is against their principles, you do not have a case. In these cases when they can prove this, you don't have a ground to stand on and they are not considered to be discriminating. This does not have to be stated in a contract for them to make their case. I sympathize with the situation, but you have to understand how it can affect their students and their parents (enrollment, etc.) to have an unmarried woman having a child born out of wedlock. I'm not saying they should tell you when to get married, but I am saying they do have the right to say that you cannot work there if they feel you are not exhibiting Christian principles.


Mingill - July 6

I don't think they can fire you for not being married. And they are going against their word that they originally gave you. Where's the whole christian forgiveness? It's between you and God. Hang in there, maybe something better will come along.


dy - July 6

now that i've read all of your responses and done some research of my own. they would have been withing their rights if they had fired me for being pregnant, it's in the contract that it's against their rules. the problem is that they didnt do that. instead they will not hire / re-hire me based on my marital status. which is not in their rules. if they didn't know me and i came in for a job, they couldn't not hire me just because i was a single parent. their second mistake is that they have in writing in their handbook that they are an equal opportunity employer and do not discriminate. Under the 's_x' clause there's a couple of paragraphs on pregnancy. Now i just have to find out about marital discrimination in the state of maryland. ATARAHSMOMMY - to answer your question. We're not getting married right now b/c we hadn't planned on getting married this summer. I didn't see a reson to bump it up just b/c of the baby. Even if I did it wouldn't make it "right in the eyes of God.' The fact would remain that i commited a sin. The bible condems having s_x before mariage. So if i get married or not, I was still wrong and that doesn't make it right. What makes it right is that God has forgiven me. and i didn't mind you rambling, i wanted feed back :) CYNDI G. - i agree that as a parent, trying to teach your child right and wrong it would be hard to explain to your child. which is why it didnt make sense that they let me work up until my 7th month. but talking to the kids about it was great, it allowed us to talk about God's forgiveness and it allowed the parents to talk to their children about sin and forgiveness and how God loves us regardless. And these were kindergarten kids. the parents of my students stood behind me 100 percent and all but two that were in my cla__s decided they would not re-enroll thier child next year. they recognized that sin is sin regardless of what it is and if i should be allowed to teach pregnant, surely i should be allowed to teach once i have the child. and as far as living together. I don't believe it's wrong. i believe that having s_x out of wedlock is wrong and most people living together are having s_x. but based on scripture where is it wrong to live together. we weren;t living together before this. but it's kind of hard to live alone when you're unemployed I do know that God loves me, which is the only reason i've been so calm about this. so sorry this was so long, thanks for your opinions and advice, i'll let you know how it turns out. and for any of you myspacer's come visit me


ashley - July 6

THEY CHOOSE NOT TO RENEW HER CONTRACT BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT MARRIED-is it stated in the rules and regulations that one must be married if they had a child????????? They told her why they wern't renewing and that is discrimination. illegal sorry.


ashley - July 6

dy-by the way.. I am a christian and I do go to church. What the school is therefore teaching the children is THEY JUDGE and do not leave it up to god.


Tanya2 - July 6

I teach in a Catholic School Board in Ontario Canada, and we have a strong union here and its against the law for them to fire you because of that. We have many unmarried mothers, divorce mothers etc they can't touch us. This is not a private board, its actually funded by the government. I think they would say don't go around telling the students your personal business thats all. Yes there is a matter of what is right or wrong, but the school board has no right to judge any employee and they could be sued for millions if they did end up firing for any of those stupid reasons. I am also a Religion specialist and if you study the Bible, you will see a lot of immoral things done by good people, especially in the Old Testament. And what was Jesus's message, don't judge, 'anyone without sin should caste the first stone'.


mischelly30 - July 6

I remember reading about similar cases (although I don't remember where). But, I also remember that some people were seeking legal action through the ACLU. I'm not sure how those cases will turn out, because this tends to be a tricky area of law, from what I remember about the article. But, you should contact the ACLU!!!


Tanna - July 6

dy, while I do not agree with the fact that they did not decide to renew your contract due to the fact that you are not married, you did say you told them " if i needed to leave b/c i set a bad example i would totally understand". Now that they actually did tell you not to come back, you no longer understand?


jas - July 7

It's their decision to renew the contract or not. It does not have to be based on marrage, s_x, the time of day, weather - it does not matter. They are not OBLIGATED to renew a contract - that is why contracts EXPIRE... Gives the employer the chance to evaluate the employee with no obligation... You were not fired from your current contract which is why they let you stay when you approached them. If they fired you then you would have a case. Because they let you finish your contract and decided not to renew - you have not a leg to stand on. I used to be in contracting and am familliar with it. Because they have a non discriminatory disclosure does not mean anything. Most places have to have it in order to hire. Their choosing not to renew the contract could be based on parent complaint - all it would take is one parent to complain to them that you do not follow the Christian way with your chosen lifestyle and what can they say in your defence? Not much ... (living with a man you are not married to is living in sin) honestly, they see you as a liability to their way of teaching in their school... My opinion? Chalk it up as an expierence and move on. There are plenty of schools out there that DON:T care how you live or what you do. To pursue this is pointless. Think about it - you make a big fuss, manage to change their way of thinking and they do re-new - can you really work for these people? Would you want to? Let it go.


Olivene - July 7

I know that most teachers can find themselves in this non-renewal situation. I have a friend who was not renewed because she had a personality conflict with an a__sistan principal. I don't think they even have to tell you why they aren't having you back. I think the school treated you unfairly because you went to them and discussed the concern, put everything on the table, and they only had a problem when it was convenient for them. I, personally, think it would be good for the school community to talk about this- there are many lessons about forgiveness and God's love in this. What irks me is that I'm sure there are a mult_tude of "Invisible" sins that are being ignored everyday. Did you tell them you will be married next school year? Do you still want to work there?



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