Going Back To Work Is Already Making Me Sad

9 Replies
margie - November 7

I wish that I could be SAHM...I am scared of going back to work after only 6 weeks! There is no one in my family or any friends who stay home and can watch her and so I will have to leave her with a stranger, I'm really scared and very sad about this. 6 weeks is still so little! But thats all I get paid for and I suppose I could take my 2 weeks of vacation to extend it, but thats still not enough time...I am just broken hearted about leaving her. I have this intense jealousy of whoever it is and I feel like I'm not going to like them no matter what because THEY get to spend all day with my daughter when that is all that I will be able to think about all day. I don't like the idea of her bonding with someone else. I don't like the idea of anyone outside of friends/family feeding her. I wonder what "firsts" that I will miss out on. I get so sad that I feel like crying thinking of it. I wish I could afford to stay with her. Anyone else feeling the same way about going back to work or am I completely insane?


staci - November 7

You are soo not alone! That was my biggest fear, my baby bonding with a stranger. Luckily dh's schedule worked out to where he stays home while I work, when i get home he goes to work. It's a hard transition for lots of parents, you have every right to feel the way you do. Maybe with the time you have left of this pregnancy you can work on finding someone you trust, or maybe try to work out different schedule's like dh and I did? Good luck with it Margie, I totally feel for you!


waiting100 - November 7

margie - is there anyway you can pinch pennies for awhile to stay at home? I have a 19 month old and one on the way and let me tell you, you will not be ready to leave baby after 6 weeks. It is really, really hard to do. I feel for you - if there is anyway you can stay at home at least for a few months, I would really try to do it.


sarah21 - November 7

I felt the same way. I couldn't enjoy any part of my pregnancy because I was so depressed at the thought of going back to work. I have since quit work and we are literally pinching pennies so I can stay home and I feel so much more peaceful. Really consider it!


HeavenisMine - November 8

I'm pinching pennies to be a SAHM right now too, it is worth considering. I know how tight money can be, but you may be able to find a way. I hope you do. I plan to start work at home if I can help it because yes eventually we will have to be bringing in much more income. Best of luck to you...I am so sorry to hear about your circ_mstances. I couldn't be away from my newborn. Think of it this way though, eventually you probably will want a break from time to time, so work may not be such a bad idea then.:)


DaBonkElsMe - November 8

Margie I am in the same boat as you. Pincnhing pennies is not even a possiblity for us right now! I don't even know how we are going to afford putting the baby on my insurance plan, as it is a huge jump for me to go from the single plan to a family! I am taking all of my sick days to extend my time, AND I am taking afew weeks of unpaid leave, which is going to be really hard, but we're going to find a way to make it work. As it stands the baby will be about 12weeks when i go back, which I guess is a little better than your situation, but I am still having major anxiety about it already! Luckily my MIL can come and stay with us for my first two weeks back, but after that we will be paying my neighbor to watch him. I know what you mean about the jealousy, I already feel like it's unfair that my new son will be bonding with some he would normally barely know! I am looking into my options for next year though. After my DH gets his raise in May, We might be able to put me on part time work. I am looking into the possiblity of working part time in a day care center where I can take my son with me. It's not an ideal job, but it'll be worth it if I can be with my baby most of the day. I would suggest you use that vacation time if you can, and according to the FMLA they have to give you up to 12 weeks where your job is secure. They don't have to pay you, but if you save a little now, maybe a week or two of unpaid leave could be doable. That's what we're doing, we've been putting a tiny bit of money aside since the summer, and so those couple of unpaid weeks will still be tight, but possible. I know how you feel! I hope you find a way to work it out!!


KRISTINA - November 8

Margie, I am a military mom, so pinching pennies is not an option and all we get for maternity leave is 6 weeks also. I did take an extra 2 weeks of leave on top of that though. It was very, very hard and at first I had to give my son to a stranger and It was very uncomfortable, scary, and depressing. After a few months of that we got him into the day care on base and I adjusted to being away from him during the work day. As hard as it is, it did have its benifits. He started sleeping through the night as soon as he was in day care, he was well adjusted, and he is 2 now and plays well with other kids and has actually learned a lot at his day care. So my advice is to work on getting him into a daycare you really trust and whos policies you agree with. As far as them bonding with a stranger, you are their mom and they know it, trust me. Good luck


LinLaceie - November 8

I know how you feel. My baby has been in the hospital since he was born on Aug. 26th. And everyday I have had to leave him up there while I come home, and after 6 weeks I had to go back to work. With fingers crossed he may be coming home this weekend, and I only get 3 days off with him at home before I have to go back to work again. then my mom gets him while I am at work. But he has already in his short life bonded with all the nurses at the hospital and I only get to see him on my days off. So I bet he doesn't know who I am :( I miss him like crazy, and can not wait for him to get home, but even then I don't get to bond with him for very long :( Anyways, like the other mommies said, you are not alone and you have every right to feel that way, but it is also true that you will want/need a break from your child at some point, and it will help them a__sociate with other people as well, won't be so clingy as they get older :) GL!


HeavenisMine - November 8

Poor Linlacie, I'd be a basket case, kudos for staying strong for your lo. :( I hope he comes home very very soon!


DaBonkElsMe - November 9

I keep telling myself that I am going back to work for my son! That if i didn't I would not be able to provide him with the life I want for him. So although we will be apart for some of every day, it is so that he can grow up in a house in a good neighborhood and never want for anything he needs. It really does help to think of it that way. LinLacie, I have you and your lo in my thoughts, I hope he comes home healthy and happy this weekend!



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