Help I Need Advice

8 Replies
coco797 - November 13

Ever since the 2nd trimester, my mother-in-law has told me not to buy the stroller since she was planning on buying it for us, and not to but ANYTHING since she was going to plan a shower. Well, my EDD is 1/3/08 and it's already the middle of November and she has not started planning anything. I have nothing yet, as I was still waiting on her. I don't want to sound like a brat or anything, but this is bothering me. I was going to start buying stuff little by little months ago, but since my MIL said no, I didn't. I have a feeling I will end up buying everything and with the holiday season coming up, I know me and my dh will be broke. I just feel a little let down by her. Please tell me that I'm being irrational and that I shouldn't feel upsset. I don't want this to bother me.


Mrs.Steve - November 13

I went through a similar situation with my shower. My best friend offered to throw it, and I ended up doing all the work. A mother in law, though, sounds alittle more reliable than a best friend. You can always buy things, not tell her, and then if she comes through, just return what you bought (make sure you save all the receipts). Touchy situation, though...I've been there. Good Luck!


coco797 - November 13

Thanks Mrs. Steve. What also sucks, for lack of a better word, is that a couple of my friends had suggested showers too, but I had told them that my MIL was planning on doing one and inviting them. I guess I just feel let down my her


evae777 - November 13

it stinks when people push such a generous offer and then we end up worrying about it. i had the same thing happen for my shower. i said screw it and just did it all myself and paid for it. i think the good intentions are there, but its easier said than done. it's hard for people to be as selfless as their offers. try not to be too disappointed , she may be a last minute person, which i can understand if you aren't because i am not either. but she may come around and finish up last minute if not then at least you know for next time!


emfine99 - November 13

I went through the same situation as MrsSteve... I however knew I would be stuck so I bought little things here and there anyways. You can always keep receipts and take stuff back. I had 2 showers and I got tons of doubles of things that I took back. I am due in a week, had my last shower a couple of weeks ago, and I just now got my nursery together. I still have a few things to get, but they aren't things I need right away. I thought my MIL was going to get the stroller as well and then at the shower she said that the one I wanted "wasn't safe" so she didnt get it and instead she got the playpen.... so I had to go out and get the stroller myself. It'll all come together I"m sure! I freaked out as well, but you should have at least a few weeks to get your last couple of things that you absolutely need I'm sure! Good luck! :-)


jennifer_33106 - November 13

Oh I am going through the same thing. My friend offered to throw it for me and she wont return any of my phone calls or call me back. I am not due til Feb but I wanna have my shower before Christmas because like you said everyone is broke after. (sounds a little bad) I havent talked to her in maybe 2 months so I am just planning it myself. But I know how you feel and it sucks! I feel let down as well and worried that we wont have the time to prepare.


evae777 - November 13

i wonder why when it comes to showers, being wedding showers or baby showers most people i have seen around me tend to get dissappointed. are people really that bad at executing on their plans or do we just have too high of expectations? I have a very close friend that I thought the world of, but ever since she convinced me to let her throw a shower (me and hubby were not going to have one at all), i have ended up just being dissappointed and thinking that she is more of a poor friend than what i used to think. it is almost as if these events give me a bad impression of what my good friends are. luckily i didnt let myself get upset and said screw it, it's not all about me. i'll just suck it up and pay for everything and do it myself, when it comes her turn i won't even offer to throw one!


coco797 - November 13

wow! It seems like a lot of us feel let down. I don't feel as bad. A few months ago I had this overwhelming urge to start getting everything ready, my friend said I was nesting, but every time I wanted to buy something, my MIL would tell me not to get anything just yet. One day I came home with a blanket my aunt had bought for the baby and my MIL looked at me and hubby like "didn't I tell you not to buy anything." We had to explain to her that we did not but it. evae777 is right, she is a last minute person, but she has not even started to plan, after all that pushing us not to buy anything.


Krissy25 - November 13

I would be worried a little too espically with the holidays comming soon. People get so busy and if it's not planned yet nobody may be able to make it. Maybe call her and say that some of your friends would like to know when the shower will be b/c they have holiday parties they have been invited to and they don't want to say yes and miss your shower. If it seems like it just isn't going to happen start buying some things and keep the receipts like emfine said. Showers are great but you won't get everything you need so better to know before the baby comes than after.



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