I Have To Say It

19 Replies
Aimes - June 5

This will probably cause controversy, but why is it that whenever the subject of br___tfeeding comes up, those who are pro BF seem to be really pushy about it and act like it's horrible if you don't do it? There are some women that are supportive either way, but seems like way more are so one sided. I don't know what I am doing yet, but I hate feeling like I am bad person becuase I may choose formula. Sorry, but state your opinion without being so judgemental. It's begining to feel like a br___tfeedign cult :)


Ca__sie06 - June 5

I completely agree! I have had many people act judgemental when I tell them I plan not to bf. But in reality, I couldnt care less what people think! My sister and I were formula fed, my DH and his brother were formula fed. All of my cousins and his cousins and his cousins babies were formula fed. We are all healthy and happy adults. Also very educated, so I dont see any negative long term effects, and I am sure the same will go for my baby.


Atarahsmommy - June 5

people are that way because b___stfeeding is what women are intended to do and no formula can copy the benifits of what b___st milk can provide for a baby, now some women for different reasons just simply can't b___stfeed and so it is great that there is formula that cansupport a baby, but there are many benifits to b___stfeeding that no formula will ever copy, that is why so many women are so one sided because it is the best for your child, and if you absolutly can't b___stfeed it does not make you a horrible mother, you do what you can


moucheka - June 5

Not very controversial I'm afraid, but a very common topic. I think it depends on what direction you are coming from:) I think you would consider me pro-b___stfeeding since that is the only option as far as I am concerned. This comes from a very deep cultural perspective, that of my own family and what is normal in my country. If you grow up observing something done by all those elders around you, there is a pretty strong chance that's what you'll think is normal. I could call you pro-formula for even considering using it. I could intepret the fact that you say you might choose formula to be pro-formula :) Ultimately it is each person's choice what they use and I don't think either side will ever agree but that is going to be the same with many issues such as what kind of school you want your kid to go to, many aspects of how they are raised etc. I think formula feeding gets such a bad rap as it was only invented to make money for big corporations and it is fairly limiited in use to the US ( and unfortunately poor African countries where again companies out to make a buck and managed to convince women their milk wasn't 'good enough' - your body will make good milk regardless of your nutritional state). It is also a sad side affect of capitalism in the US where mothers have to work to survive and often may not have the support or education to understand their choices. Whatever you choose, make sure you do the research and I hope you can find support.


mom.2.5 - June 5

I am not pro at either, because I do both..I bf because its easier for me and it takes weight off, and makes a cute fat baby, but I do have 4 other kids and have to either pump or supplement, so that I have time for everyone. This time I intend on doing it longer than the 4-5months I usually do, but that may change.It is just sooo much easier & cheaper for me.But when I go back to work I do both and its no big deal. It is an individual choice, I never had anyone in my family or dh's that done it and the first times i done it i thought i was going to die (no one showed me the correct way to do it). I love it because I get to feed & hold the baby all the time. So I guess you can say I go both ways.


Ginny - June 5

I had my baby 4 mo ago, and the most surprising thing about motherhood is the amount of pushy subjects that come up. Having a baby opens you up to a world of criticism that you've never known before! I am prob___stfeeding, but the amount of grown formula fed people out there proves that it works too. I was interested in cloth diapering, and that turned out to be pretty cultish, also. Pierced ears vs non-pierced, back-sleeping babies vs tummy sleeping, attachment parenting vs cry-it-out method, stroller vs snuggli. . . . the list could go on and on. People like to have something to believe in. I just thought I'd warn everyone, because no body told me it would be like this!


krista-lee - June 5

i really wanna bf because to me the positives outweigh the negative for me. plus i can only BF for the summer till school starts, and he/she will then go to formula. a lot of women suggest you try it is because its proven that its alot more healthier, but some people just arent comfortable with the idea, and thats fine, i dont think anyone should tell you that you should b___stfeed if you dont want to :)


Jenn2 - June 5

I personally dont care what anyone chooses!! I think it is truely up to the individual, and what you are happiest and most comforitable doing. I am going to give b___stfeeding a try, but I WILL NOT be one of those moms who thinks it is so necessary that (even if I'm crying and frustrated) I still make myself bf. If that happens to me......straight to the formula I go. I think the moms well-being and mental stability is most important when rearing a happy child. I know several babies who have been formula fed (myself included), and I am just as healthy as the next person. As a baby I could not drink b___stmilk b/c of lactose intollerance and colic. They had to put me on a special (pre-digested) formula b/c it was all I could keep down without going into a fit and spitting up. I want to do everything I can to b___stfeed.... but I wont let it make me miserable b/c then I wont be a happy mother for my little girl.


ReneeM - June 5

Well said Jenn2, I totally agree!


mcatherine - June 5

Aimes - I know where you are coming from. I am one of the women that is unable to b___stfeed. Two years ago I had a b___st reduction and during the surgery had milk glands and ducts removed. Since then, my right b___st has developed an infection of the sinus tract and drains through my nipple. I have had 4 surgeries to try and remove the infected tissue - to no avail. When I became pregnant, they had to stop the treatment until postpartum (13 weeks to go) Not only is there a very slim chance I would even produce milk, all doctors agree that the risk of exposure of the infection to my baby would not be a very smart move. Even after all of this there are many women (and not just on here) that make me feel as though I will be a bad mother for not b___stfeeding. Obviously, I know this isn't true and make the choice not to listen to their opinions - because that is simply what they are - opinions. And if you don't let them matter, they won't. Ginny is right - all of us are going to be opened to a world of criticism in one way or another. Every woman, every culture is different and there are wonderful mothers all over the world!!


Steph - June 5

There are a number of holier than thous about b___stfeeding v. bottlefeeding and I truly believe that it depends on the woman's situation and state of mind. I b___stfed my daughter for only one month or so and quit because it was hard and because I did not have a strong support system. He was actually a total a__s. Anyways, my daughter was then formula fed and she is almost 8 years old and is a healthy happy little girl who, btw, was rarely sick when she was a baby and still to this day is rarely sick. With this baby I am going to b___stfeed until I go back to work which will be approximately 2 months and then I am going to pump and breasfeed until he's 11/12 months old. Because it's good for him and it's free!! I honestly think that a woman who has had a baby and is always stressed out with other issues besides the baby and what normally comes along with that may have a harder time b___stfeeding. I would encourage anyone who is having a child to try and b___stfeed for a few weeks and if they don't like it or really have a hard time with it, switch to formula. I don't think that anyone should be looked down on for formula feeding in the least. But, I also don't think that mothers who formula feed should act disgusted when a woman b___st feeds her her baby.


Jill - June 5

I don't have a problem with informed parents who make the decision to fromula feed, alot of my friends do, and in the beggining b___stfeeding is hard. I do have a problem when women who are formula feeding make comments suggesting that nursing your child is gross, weird or creepy, all things I have read on this site. I believe that shows a lack of maturiy and respect. There is know arguing that nutrtionally b___stmilk is best for your child in almost every case ( iam sure there are rare exceptions). I do agree with a previous post where the mental health of the mother should come first. Just know that as a mother who b___stfeesd her kids until they wean themselves (at ages 18mo and 22mo) I also feel attacked by ignroant women who think b___stfeeding is unantural. That is what has really b__wn me away. I do believe everyone should be less judgemental, we all want healthy babies .


Aimes - June 5

Jenn2, you sound like me on this subject. I am not opposed and may try it, but if it doesn't work and I am a stressed out moody mess, then I am not going to continue. I guess I was more talking about hte women that feel there is no other option than BF, which I don't think is true. I was bottle fed and I rarely ever get sick. My niece and nephew that were bottle fed--never sick, but the other ones who were b___st fed--sick ALL the time, so the immunity thing doesn't convince me. I don't know, it's a personal choice, but those that push the le leche leage and always push those to b___st feed seem like they are don't have a clue about real liffe, and how sometimes b___st feeding isn't best if it doesn't make the mother happy/satisfied.


Nerdy Girl - June 5

I think it's a personal choice. I support b___stfeeding whenever possible, but I would not get on a soap box to preach about it. It used to really p__s me off when people would try to tell me what to do regarding this particular topic. My mom did not b___stfeed me and she had to tell me how disgusting b___stfeeding was EVERY SINGLE TIME I FED MY DAUGHTER! It got me so mad. My daughter was b___stfed for a full year, and my son was a horrible b___stfeeder and had therefore been on formula for most of his infancy. Both of my kids are happy and healthy. But yes, you are right. This is a very controversial topic.


Erynn21 - June 5

Hey it's up to you, if you don't want to do it don't. You have to remember this is your baby and no one else's. I am planning on b___stfeeding, but who know's it may not work, then I'll have to make a new decision. I think ppl decide once your pregnant that your opinions don't matter and their's are all that counts. At least that's what I've encountered. That's why I choose to ignore 90% of what comes out of ppl's mouths, because you know what, it really isn't their decision.


Olivene - June 6

I plan to b___stfeed. I am willing to put up with being uncomfortable and even upset for a little while, if it happens that way, because I think it is the best choice for my baby. I think every mom should do what she feels is best and that's it. I have suggested the La Leche League on several posts because it is a great support to women who WANT to b___stfeed not because I have any reason to recruit for them. Best of luck to you, Aimes! It is nice that we modern women get the choice!


torbman - June 7

There will always be people out there that have stronger views about the topic of b___stfeeding, but when it comes right down to it Aimes, who cares what they say, you do what is best for you and your baby! Do what feels comfortable. I did b___stfeed with my first for 6 weeks and in that time my daughter lost weight so then I couldn't. My second daughter I really wanted it to work with her and she was tongue tied, now when this one is born I am going to choose to try my hardest, to bf. Why, really when it comes right down to it, because it saves money. I know its good for them too, but my daughters grew up on formula and they are just as healthy as any other bf child. So, you do whats best for your family, and poo poo with people "telling you" whats best, and what you should do. Take care (Tamara)



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