I Need Some Advice About My SIL

16 Replies
Karen S - April 3

Ok Im currently 35 weeks and 3 days. I have already had my baby showers and recieved everything I needed! Well the only thing I didn't ask for was a swing cause my bf's younger sister had one I could use. Well his older sister is currently using it but her daughter will be one at the end of this month so dont you think she's alittle to old for it? Well I had asked the older sister what kind of batteries it took and she was unsure and got silent and then let me go( We were on the phone) Well the next day my bf's little sister told me that the day when I talked to his older sis, when she let me go she immediatly called her and said that Im not giving Karen the swing right away when the baby's born. Well his younger sister was like why you dont need it anymore and it's my swing and I told her she could use it. His older sister responded well thats the only way I can take showers during the day and Karen should understand that. She puts her daughter in the swing while she showers. Now isn't that dangerous? They say you shouldn't put infants in there once they can sit up. Plus she uses it only 10 min out of the day and I'll use it alot more. So now Im p___sed because she has been like this through my entire pregnancy. With my baby shower I wanted cake and she wanted brownies and she made a huge deal about that. It's the stupidest little things and I dont know what to do. My mom said she would go buy me a swing but I dont want that cause thats letting her get her way again, when she is only doing this cause we need it. So what do I do, how do I confront her? I dont want to argue about it but I know she will turn it that way. Any advice would be helpful! Thanks


SuzieQ - April 3

I would just let it go. Get another swing. She obviously is having issues or something and it's not worth fighting over.


Tess - April 3

What a B---H! I agree w/ SuzieQ just let it go and by yourself your own swing. Plus dont stress about it. People like her shouldnt even be dealt w/ at all.


Karen S - April 3

But dont you think that it's dangerous for her to be putting her daughter in there? She try's to be #1 mom all the time and I dont think that is a #1 mom thing to do to risk you child being hurt. But also she doesn't know that I know she said that. Should I still ask her for it and wait for her response and then I'll tell her I think she's being unfare but dont worry about it I'll go get my own. I just want her to feel bad Im tired of the way she has treated me during my pregnancy and Im not the only one who's noticed it. Plus she brags about how much her husband makes so shouldn't they just go and get there own there planning to start trying for another child in the next few months anyways. Sorry it just helps to vent


Jenn2 - April 3

Karen S- Your SIL sounds like mine. My husband went up to stay with her family this psat weekend b/c he had a business meeting up where she lives. She has been telling us through my entire pregnancy that she has all kinds of baby stuff that she can give us. She has a 6 year old boy and a 2.5 year old little girl. I am having a little girl, so she was going to give me allot of her girl things. I was hoping to get her monitor and a convertable car seat b/c they have really nice ones and are not planning on having any more kids. Well, my husband came back with a box of stained clothes and a few "junk" type toys. Absolutely nothing that is essential or practical (considering I have not had my shower yet, and I'm sure i will get plenty of clothes at that). she told my husband that she is still using the monitor for her 2.5 year old daughter (whose bedroom is right across the hall from theirs)??? She can walk and talk now, so if she needs mommy in the middle of the night...can't she just get out of bed, and walk across the hall?? I thought monitors were for babies when they are helpless and can't get you in the middle of the night? I really am a little erked. There is allot more she has done in the past that is really irritating, but I will end up writing a book if I go into it on here, but this is not the first time something like this has happened.


MJM - April 3

It sounds to me that she is jealous. Just let it go. Yes her child is too old to be in a swing. But to each their own. And then if you want to be kind of rude back at her tell her how nice yours is and how happy that you decided to buy your own. LOL But I think it is just pure jealousy


bean - April 3

I went on Graco's website and skimmed the instruction manuals for a couple of swings (mine is a hand-me-down and didn't come with instructions). The manuals say to discontinue using the swing when baby reaches 25lbs or is able to climb out. If your niece is 25lbs or more, I'd a__sume that yes, it could be dangerous for her to use it. But then again, only a mom really knows. You probably won't start using the swing the day your baby is born - so it may be two months before you really need it. Maybe ask your SIL again in a month? Next time you ask, I would ask directly - may I have the swing - and force her to answer. If she says no, well then... there's not much more you can do. This is such a stupid thing to have an argument over. I'm betting it's just jealousy that you're going to have a newborn... don't let it get to you. Good luck!


pbj - April 3

That baby is far too big to be in that swing. Screw her...Oh God SIL's, if it's not one thing it's another. I got along great with my brothers wife, now his ex, they have a daughter together and she and I are still very friendly with one another. But, my husband sister...sometimes I could just poke her eyes out. Karen, believe me, let it go and just get yourself a nice new one and if you get the chance tell her to stuff her swing up her b___t. (I know this sounds hostile, but it's a bad day to talk about SIL's to me) This is the one topic I could go absolutely insane about. When her child hurts herself, maybe she'll consider giving it up...maybe she should try a pack n play for when she takes a shower...what an idiot.


3babies - April 3

HI Karen I think people like your SIL just love it when you confront them. Then they have a bit more drama to tell everyone about. Believe me, if you say something about it to her it will become bigger than Ben Hur. If you get your own swing, when your younger sil or someone else comments on it you will have your chance to let everyone know that your other sil still uses it for her one child and wouldnt hand it over. If you phrase it innocently enough, she's going to be the one with egg on her face!


Lisa A - April 4

Hey Karen, I have a SIL just like that.. It's all a power play. Trust me, buy your own , and move on. She obviously has some issues. You'll be saner in the end. Let her child swing till she's 5 ,LOL... Save yourself the anxiety- especially when pregnant.


sphinxminx - April 4

I'm hearing you Karen. Its sad when you have to have one thorn in the family, sounds like pure jealously. Someone is not in the lime-light anymore. Mu SIL wanted to plan my baby shower, my mom and I said sure the night before she pulls out for some unknown reason. So my mom spent the night phoning people and telling them where the shower will be and all. Needless to say, It ended up being a nice affair but a hectic one. I agree with the girls buy your own swing because apperently if she's trying again you know that she will only use that as an excuse to keep it.


karine - April 4

Just get your own. And dont talk to her anymore. unless she talks to you. Plus like you said...it was the other sisters swing before..and then she is using it for a child that is too old for it. maybe to be safer your better off buying a new one. Its worth the investment...you could use it for your other kids (if you plan on having more) or you could bring it to a cinsignment store. maybe she is doing that, cause she wants to keep it for her second child, and she dosent want you to use it.


Karen S - April 4

Thanks for all the advice! I know we are probably gonna go out this weekend and get one. When do babies start to use the swing anyway? It just makes me mad that once again she gets her way. It's not even her swing and she brags to us all the time about how much money they make, then go buy your own swing. She makes me so angry but thanks again to everyone:)


sparkles - April 4

Karen, babies can start using the swing right away. I would suggest a miniature take along swing. I got one and they are great. They are small, sit really low to the floor, and can be folded up to take with you places. Try looking in walmart, target, or sears. I saw some really cute ones at sears. Some of them have lights, music, toys, and even vibrate (which babies love). I agree that you should just buy your own and let your SIL keep the other swing. Otherwise, she is probably going to start a bunch of drama over it. I have a horrible SIL, so I understand. She is so bad that I'm not letting her have anything to do with my little girl after she is born. Good luck to you and I hope you find a good swing. :)


Karen S - April 4

Well I didn't listen I called her and she freaked out and said I was selfish for wanting to take it away from her daughter. I told her to go ahead and keep the swing and let her daughter swing in it until she's 5.


ash2 - April 4

i would definantly just buy myself another swing. ecspecially if thats the only thing that you need. its not worth mixing bad blood in his family over about 40 dollars to buy one. new or used. trust me , your boyfriend will just get stuck in the middle.


mommietobe - April 4

Karen , I have have two sil like that. One still b___stfeeds and he's four and the other knows everything. I would just get a new swing. I will say her child is too big for that swing it only takes a second for a child to get hurt or killed . Those kind of freak accidents do happen. I lost my neice and nephew at the same time. They were one and two because my sil was being careless. I'm not saying she doesn't love her daughter, but take a shower during nap time or put her in the crib for ten minutes, just keep her safe. Sorry to vent everyone, it's hard not to, when you've seen first hand the dangers of not following child age recommendations and instructions.



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