(god how do you spell wed??)
anyway, im scheduled to go in tomorrow night at 1130 to begin my induction process...im REALLY nervous. as much as id love her to go ahead and come out, and i want to meet her, im so scared. my hormones are a mess!!! theyre going to register me and admit me tuesday night, and start with cytotec treatments at 1,3,and 5 am... then at 7 the dr is going to come in and check my progress, possibly breaking my waters then, if they dont break on their own...
if they wake me up every two hours how am i supposed to get the rest i need to deliver this baby?? also, if i cant eat?? ive always been one who, when deprived food, does not do well...im a very small girl and my body processes everything very quickly... i gain and lose energy at lightening speed.
im so stressed out and worried about how induction is going to affect me and baby... i want to try it, but everything i keep reading is so awful... higher risk of c section, merconium issues with fetal distress... my worst fear is of something not being ok with madelyn or me... also, im scared of NOT being pregnant....i know that sounds odd, but omg.. 40 wks and 5 d is a long time...im used to being pregnant,i can hardly remember what its like to NOT be pregnant,...knowing today is one of the last days ill feel her squirming around in my belly, and have her this close to me is a bit alarming...what has been a small annoyance at the least at most times, now seems so precious to me. the clock seems l ike its ticking and im so afraid my body wont do what its supposed to. im terrified of the idea of csection.... ive never had surgery for any reason in my LIFE.
also, im allergic to pennicilin and ive tested positive for group b, dont they generally use penicillin to treat that??
i guess im just doing what i knew i would, worry worry worrying.
also, worried that my labor could be seriously long....
or that the induction wont work...
and my belly...omg...it has to feel weird the day of or the next day after of giving birth...
like jelly?? big flappy loose skin??? god...i feel nauseous.
im freaking myself out too much...
i dont know. someone please help me calm down here.
dr said he thinks my baby will be "small". not undersized, but not you know, big i guess..
i guess that makes me feel a small bit better?
everything is normal in this pregnancy as far as the drs can tell...shes doing well, normal progress, mature enough to come right on out. and trust me, my body is ready for that...but its just, emotionally im not sure.
its always fine to know in the beginning of your pregnancy that youre going ot have to give birth, but when it comes right down to it, the clock is ticking and you know exactly how much longer it will be, it can drive you nuts! any help/responses?