Inlaws And Smoking

6 Replies
MollieM - April 2

Hello all, I am about to have baby #1 and I am worried about my inlaws smoking habits. They all live within 2 blocks of us, and are ALL chain smokers. what are some ways I can make it clear that I will not have my child in their home if there is smoking. I really do not even want baby in their homes if they EVER smoke in there, but I can not be so picky I know. They all feel that if the wondows are open, it is ok, but none of them have connected the fact that maybe smoking around infants has something to do with the two children on that side who have passed from SIDS.


disko love - April 2

hi mollie. i kind of have a similar situation. i have some family ... actually the only family members that i have in this state... and they are chain smokers too. they smoke in the house and don't really open up the windows at all. they will stand by the stove and put the fan on (the one that goes over the stove) and they think that this helps. it doesn't help at all. i went over there to visit a few months ago and i had to leave cuz the smell of smoke made me so nauseous. i told them that i can't visit over there anymore. and i refuse to allow my child to suffer from smoke inhalation. they will have to come to my house to see the baby! that is what i would suggest to you as well. don't subject your baby to unnecessary harm. good luck.


cors1wfe - April 2

I agree with disko - just tell them if they want to see the baby they can come to your house this way you are in control of your baby's exposure to if you need them to help with daycare you will have to verbally voice your thoughts and mention that the 2nd hand smoke has been proven to contribute to SIDS - Good luck that's a tough one.


CgGirl - April 2

Hey Mollie, I agree with disko love. You make your own rules. Obviously, you can't force them not to smoke in their own home, but then you don't have to go there. Maybe they will get the clue then. You know, it's funny the kind of things you can put up with before the baby comes, but when you have a baby, your priorities and things that are important to you change! I'm in the same boat!


tish212 - April 2

my mother smokes and over christmas holiday and new years holiday she smoked in her house while we were drove me CRAZY! so i have since told her that we will not be returning to her home with my dd until she either stops smoking all together or stops smoking in her house...needless to say she hasn't seen her grandaughter (the only grandchild she has) in 2 months...but its for my little girls health she didn't chose to smoke so why should i let someone else make that decision for her?


mjvdec01 - April 2

I agree, but I have something else to add as well. Recent new studdies have shown that a room that has been smoked in is just as toxic as second hand smoke. The poisions in the cigarette smoke are impregnated in everything and just contact with the things in the room is as bad as if someone were b__wing smoke in your baby's face. My entire family smokes and so do my in-laws. My hubby and I are the only healthy ones in the bunch, and the smoking really bothers me. My family knows that there is no smoking in the house at all when any of us are there. I wish I could get them all to quit entirely, but that would be impossible. My in-laws on the other and are of the school of thought that their kids turned out okay, so it is no big deal. Therefore I refuse to go visit anymore. The last time we were there my hubby told him mom that there could be no smoking inside when we were there, his mom said okay, but that we couldn't require that of his grandmother. His grandmother knows how adament we are about this and would light up right across the room from us. I would get so p__sed, and take my daughter outside, which was bad in itself. They live in c___p town USA (Midland Odessa Texas) I hate it there and the fact that they live in 40 year old filthy trailers makes it even worse. My daughter crawled around on the floor for THREE DAYS before they told me the dogs pee inside!?!? I am sorry to go on and on off topic, they are just so trashy and I don't agree with their lifestyle or values.


joy28 - April 5

Mollie, Good luck with this. Smokers who just don't want to quit, won't. Don't forget it can also aggravate anyone who has asthma or has a family history of. I have the same problem with my mil, she smokes in her house, car etc... She always said a grandchild would be her "motivation" for quiting. Not so much. Thankfully she understands my position. We told her that although she is more than welcome to come to our home whenever to visit the baby or babysit, the baby will not go to her home. We always instated an "EVERYONE" wash their hands before touching baby rule. Although it's a good rule anyway, it's mostly so the baby doesn't have to inhale all the smoke residue on grandma's hands. She has pointed out that my husband and bil turned out fine after she smoked during their pregnancies, but since my son was born, she has requested info from dr about quiting aids. I have several other friends whose parents quit after baby, so who knows? good luck!



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