Is This Anxiety Or Depression Or Both

24 Replies
evae777 - October 16

keara is a cute name! i like it! if i had a girl i was going to name her Ella, Elle, or Eva. the strange thing with names is i will pick out one i like and then say it in my head too many times and then get tired of the name. for instance, Jack, simple-solid name, but after playing it over and over i feel like it should be something else. before we had picked out Afton. (it rhymes with Ashton), it grew on me and then my partner says that he doesnt like it anymore and then i got bored of it too! so Jack is the default name. that's nice you will be a SAHM. i bet it is rough sometimes with the stress of work. i was doing Outside Sales, flexible job, great money, but my boss was really moody and paranoid and made it tough especially when i was in my 1st tri and sick all the time so i had to just call it quits. do you have any other stay at home mom friends in san jose? i was thinking about taking up prenatal yoga to meet some soon to be moms, but i am embarra__sed to say it... i'm unmotivated and don't want to spend the money!! now that i don't bring in my own income and don't have control much of my own savings, i am trying to hoard as much as i can for myself before the baby comes! you never know when you need to do some extra shopping for self :D plus living in the city, our expenses are just unbelievable :( i went to watch Eastern Crossing last night, the ratings were at 89% & it was a good movie but a little slow. and i feel much better. i didnt make dinner or anything last night, just took myself out. and he was being super nice. i told him yesterday that i can't focus on his behavior and be stressed like this that i have to take care of myself and the pregnancy. he got really nice and said sorry, blah blah, but i'm sure he holds a little resentment for having to be the one to give in. oh well. he needs to learn its not the end of the world to be sorry. i do it all the time! plus not having the daily ma__sages and homecooked meals must be killing him. hehe. i didnt even pack his luggage last night for his business trip today. can't let them get used to the good life. someone is going to have to put in their fair share! anyways, i come home and the dishes are put away, etc. jeee... if only it could be like that all the time! so i am feeling much better than the past 5 days and thank you for asking :) how are you feeling? are you still worrying? well... once we have these little rugrats it will be a different world of worrying and stress!

 

star_eyes - October 16

It sounds like taking care of yourself is definitely where your focus needs to be. Not feeding into his tantrums will definitely help you and help show him that he's no longer going to be #1. Right now you are and soon your baby will be. It sounds like you spoil him enough as is. If I treated my husband like you do he would think he'd died and gone to heaven!! Not that I'm not sweet with my husband but it's definitely 50/50. I know what you mean about the whole name thing. It's SO hard to choose a name isn't it? This kid will be stuck with it forever so it has to be a good one. Do you have any backups for Jack if you decide you don't like that name anymore? Oh, you never told me when you are due. As for the prenatal yoga, my MIL told me about a yoga studio in Willow Glen that has prenatal yoga every Monday. It's $15 for a drop in cla__s but new customers get 3 cla__ses for $20. Great deal however, the cla__s doesn't start until 8pm and the cla__s is an hour long! I cannot stay up that late these days anymore because I'm so tired all the time. I like to be in bed by 9:30 at the latest!! So, that's not really an option for me. :( And no, I don't know of any other SAHM's. However, we are planning on moving to Boise, ID in April of 2008 so it's not like I'll really have time to make SAHM friends anyway. Hopefully once we get to Boise I can join a mother's group so I can meet some people. I think I'll get quite lonely if I don't since I'm so used to having all of my friends at work every day. It's going to be quite a lifestyle change but I'm really looking forward to it!! If you don't mind me asking, how old are you and your husband? How long have you been married? I am 26 and my husband is 27. We were married for one year as of May 2007. I'm so glad you're feeling better!! I'm also feeling better. I was reading in one of my pregnancy books last night that it's normal for women to start worrying about the health of the baby and their new lifestyle to come at this point in the pregnancy. Sounds like we're just being pregnant! Heheh! I'm still getting the waves of nausea here and there but not as severe as I was and I'm not feeling as down either. I'm glad it's starting to pa__s however I think I'll still go to the cla__s anyway.

 

evae777 - October 16

i am due January 12th. we have no backup names! my husband wants to name him Jackson... i'm not sure about that! i think plain ol' Jack is simple enough. and you are right, they die and go to heaven when you pamper them, but i swear that is how they turn into brats because they began to have bigger egos and higher expectations. so if i keep the bar low then anything i do will be better than nothing haha:D so you are moving to Idaho? is it work related? have you visited there before? we are moving to Hawaii around the same time next year!! my husband is a landscape architect and all of his projects are over there and he travels all the time, but since he has been in SF for 9 years now, he's ready for a change. it's going to be so hot over there. ugh! my husband is 35 and i am 29 years old, we just got married this month! we dated for almost 2 years. what's funny is... i was sure he was going to propose when we were dating, but after i got pregnant i found out that he would've probably never proposed! grrr... so the whole time he was a big commitment phobe but i had no idea. so he was very thankful that i got pregnant, he said it helped give him the right push. i almost resented him when i found that out! i guess since when we were dating i had my own place, i still cooked and pampered him, packed his lunches like an idiot and he practically lived at my place minus the bills, yet still had his place to go to when he wanted alone time... it was wayyy too convenient so of course he stalled on proposing. good thing you and your hubby are 50/50. i'm really learning that when we do most of the work, they start slacking... emotionally and all! how long did you and your husband date? did you meet here in California? what do you guys do for work if you dont mind me asking?

 

star_eyes - October 16

We are moving to Idaho for the quality of living. The bay area is SO expensive as you know and since I want to be a SAHM it really isn't practical to stay in the area because we will never be able to afford that lifestyle and buy a house someday. So, it's off to Idaho. We've been wanting to move for a couple of years now but couldn't decide where. Now that we have a baby coming, we are more motivated so we went to Boise a couple of months ago to check it out. We absolutely loved it there. It's beautiful and the people are so friendly. It's a slower pace of life but not too slow. It's a great mix. I am a chef for a manufacturing company that makes soup/sauces/pasta, etc. for restaurants and grocery stores. I create the recipes that we use to create our products that we sell to our customers. My husband is an auto mechanic. Currently he works on Bentley & Lotus cars but he can work on anything. He's a good honest mechanic which is hard to come by! We dated for a year before he proposed and then we were engaged for a year and now we've been married for a year and a few months. I met him when I was 19 but he had a gf and I had a bf at the time so we never really got to know each other too well. We met through a mutual friend of ours. After living in SF I moved to Denver and then to Seattle, just trying to find my place in this world. After all that I decided to come back to SJ and lived with my friend for a few months which is where I re-met my husband! It was meant to be. :) I agree that if you make things too convenient for them that it doesn't seem to work in your favor! Luckily I learned that lesson with some of my past relationships before I met my husband. Hawaii sounds great!! That must be so exciting!! I think I may start to get a little island fever after a while though. I'm not sure...Then again, with a little one running around you'll have plenty to keep you busy!!

 

evae777 - October 16

i never thought about Idaho, but it sounds like a great place. how is the weather usually? we are only planning to live in Hawaii for 5 years. i'm not looking forward to it, you really do get island fever. i have been there so many times and once was for a month, i thought i was going to shoot myself. is there a lot of diversity in Idaho. and if you don't mind me asking, how was your experience in Seattle? we were thinking about visiting there to see if it is a possibility but the thought of grey weather and rain is just depressing. might as well stay here! and you are a chef? wow that is awesome, i love cooking, but have ran out of recipes and tired of my own meals. i just subscribed to Cuisine at Home to pick up some new stuff. so if you want to give out some or your secret recipes... feel free!! i'm dying to learn something new outside of a cookbook. well, i hope you are feeling better, you are very lucky, you have so much to look forward to!

 

star_eyes - October 17

The weather in Boise is a mild 4 season climate. You get some snow but not much. However, the mountain in the background there gets it so you can go skiing just 45 minutes from downtown Boise! Summers are nice and warm with an average of about 90. The winter gets a little chilly but really not too bad. As for Seattle...If you're not into rain all the time then I wouldn't suggest it. I lived there from October through February and it rained nearly every day!! It's really beautiful with all the trees and lakes but it really does get depressing. I remember any time the sun actually did show itself you'd realize how much you really missed it because you hadn't seen it in weeks!! I'm not exaggerating at all either. If you like to cook, there is a great website called allrecipes.com that is filled with pretty much anything you can think of. It's all user submitted and voted on by users as well with reviews. I use that website all the time for ideas. :) How are things going today for you? I'm getting excited because we've got a shower on Saturday. It's coed so my husband gets to come! It looks like we've got a good turnout too.

 

star_eyes - October 17

You know, we've definitely had a shift in friendships since I became pregnant too. It's sad. I can name about 3 people in particular that have just fallen off the planet since finding out that I'm pregnant! I suppose they just a__sume that we are different people now or something...I don't know what it is. Yea, I steer clear of the "friends" you only see when they need something. I'm not into that game anymore. I'd rather have quality over quant_ty any day. Good friends are hard to come by for sure. A lot of people just don't want to put the effort in. It's sad. I'm just really grateful for the ones I do have. That is SO funny about your husband's facial hair. Maybe he's having an ident_ty crisis now that he's becoming a father!! LOL! Don't be embara__sed for being bummed. I know why you feel like that though. That's how I feel whenever I tell someone how I'm feeling. I don't want to sound ungrateful for the situation I'm in because I know I have it really good and that I'm SO lucky to even be able to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. It's just something that you can't help right now. And it's perfectly natural for some women. I heard yesterday that the biggest gift you can give your child is a cheerful mother. I'm sure once you are in the swing of motherhood that you'll get back to your old self. It's a huge change right now. What brings you joy? Can you do something today that makes you happy??

 

evae777 - October 18

shopping usually makes me happy, but that gets expensive! its strange how i dont really need to buy anything, but i always find something that i will need to buy if i am out. hmmm... so i went to target today to buy curtains to brighten up the place and wondered around like i had amnesia kept forgetting things i needed and getting distracted by little things. looked at the time and it was 5 pm. i must have dozed off throughout the store! it did make me feel better but i can't do that everyday! our place will get cluttered! and i was also at Macy's and got obsessed with buying handbags. gosh i'm telling you, i do not even know who i am right now. my sig other called a few times and i got weirded out and didnt answer, I just don't feel like interacting w/ him. so i wondered why it is that i am not mad at him, but yet dont want to talk to him. then i realized later on in the day that i am mad at him! but i wasn't sure why, then it came to me like a 5 yr. old.... i am mad at him for something he did a while back. so i'll tell you... when we just started dating we broke up after 4 months ( for only 3 weeks) and he flew out to see (or sleep) with this sleazy girl that kept trying to interfere w/ our relationship. some really young psychotic fling he strung along for 3 yrs that was desperate for him. anyways, the short of it is.. i am mad about it as if it happened yesterday when it happened a year and half ago. i know it is typical for women to hold grudges, but we are married now and that happened when we dated, i wonder why i am taking it so personally all of a sudden? is this normal? so how was your day? are you feeling much better compared to 5 days ago? jee i just noticed..this must be our own thread! aw well...

 

star_eyes - October 18

Hey Evae! Yes, I do think it's normal that you're feeling that way even though that happened a long time ago. Pregnancy can bring up all sorts of insecurities in us. Do you think that your feelings were completely resolved from the past or do you think maybe you just hid them away and now they are resurfacing? Either way, it sounds like they ARE resurfacing and it's something you need to deal with. I can see why that would bother you. It would bother me too. Even if we were split up at the time. Not that it was wrong since technically you weren't together, however, just the fact that he would go out of his way to get his needs met like that just would make me feel bad. In the end though, he's with you and not her so that says something right there. What is it exactly that is making you upset about the situation? I'm feeling better but have definitely been more moody the last few days. I'm getting p__sed off at this girl who I've been training at work for 2 months. She is definitely bright enough to do the job but I think she's lazy because she's not taking initiative and getting things done. I just can't wait to be out of here!! Oh, one more thing I want to gripe about!! LOL!! Does it bother you when people who've never even had kids before are giving you parenting advice?! Man, that really irks me. Yea, I think we do have our own thread! Sometimes I wonder if we should just email each other since we tend to get a little personal on here! Haha! If you want, my email is stareyes422 at yahoo dot com. :)

 

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