Mother S Day Blues

10 Replies
jade - May 8

My due date was Saturday, I was hoping my mother's day present would be the birth of my son. Obviously that is not going to happen. My question is about my fiance. I am not sure if he gets my impending motherhood or doesn't realize I am a mother, but he has done or said nothing all day. As a matter of fact he is at the bar having a beer with his friend right now. I guess I thought he would be more caring, he usually is, but I was wrong. How do I let him know that I am upset without seeming like a crazy, emotional pregnant woman?

 

Robin - May 9

You are a crazy emotional women as long as your pregnant. When he comes home ask him if is some thing he needs to say to you. if he has no idea what your talking about, then tell him you are p__sed and tell him why. My husband made me cake that said "thanks BUBBLES" then him and my two year old ate it! Other than that he did nothing and didn't even tell me HMD! just keep in mind that father's day is next month.

 

PP - May 9

I guess I am different I chose not to celebrate this year as me beinga mother but a chose to celebrate my mother. I guess until the baby is physically here I don't feel like I am a mother yet. I talked with my mom all about motherhood and what to expect and we taked about when I was little and what will be easy and what will be hard. It was wonderful.

 

EM - May 9

I was thouroghly disappointed and hurt this mothers day as I am only 2 weeks away and feel like it is close enough. However, my mother and husband finally agreed on something...neither of them even said Happy mothers day to me and told me I was not a mother yet...well if I'm not this kids mother who is? I told my husband about my hurt feelings and he just laughed at me. My mom told me she didn't want to jinx anything which is why she didn't send a card or anything...as if sending a card would karmically cause me to have a stillborn. Whatever!!! To all of the pregnant women on this site I say to you HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

 

Erica - May 11

EM, with all due respect, your mom and hubby are displaying rudeness in its rawest form; we become mothers the second that child is conceived - perhaps not in the sense that the "world" typically stereotypes (wiping noses, baking cookies for school events, blah blah blah) but selflessly caring for that little soul inside you by eating right and avoiding things that could potentially harm her definitely makes you a mother, hands down! Our church recognizes all mothers on Mother's Day by having them stand up; you can bet I stood my happy 39-week along b___t up and stuck that belly out, baby! So a Big "Post-Happy-Mother's-Day" to you, girl! You're more than worthy of it! :)

 

A - May 11

I wouldn't want people to wish me a Happy Mothers Day until after the baby arrives. I know it's stupid, but I'd worry it'd be tempting fate. I think EM's Mum was being quite sensitive actually.

 

EM - May 11

Thanks Erica! And A, my mother is anything but sensitive to my needs. We live in New Mexico, she lives in Michigan and I wanted her to come out AFTER the baby was born to help me get settled in the house. I have my coach for the hospital and he will be going back to work after we get home, so I wanted her there after. Well, she scheduled her flight the day before my due date and not only that but knows the airport is a two hour one-way drive for us. I haven't told her yet but if Joey isn't born yet, one of my co-workers is going to pick her up which she will not like because then she's in a car for 2 hours with a perfect stranger. She thinks nothing of my husband and I hopping in the car and distancing ourselves 2 hours from the hospital the day before I'm due, OR just sending my husband and leaving me to fend for myself if I happen to go into labor. Since I got pregnant she has been asking me to ask the doctors if they just won't induce me so she'll know when to come out, and she is perfectly serious too! And now I'm sick to my stomach because she'll be here the 21st - 27th (I'm due the 22nd) and I've agreed to be induced on the 23rd just to make her happy. I would really rather wait till I'm at least a week overdue to think about being induced. Please ladies, send good thoughts that Joey will arrive before I'm due so I don't have this added stress. On top of all this, my husband doesn't want her in the delivery room taking over his role as coach. They don't get along the greatest and I've already put my foot down to him that his mom can't be out here while my mom is because it would be too much stress. I'm leaving this one up to the wonderful nurses to find a way to get her out of the delivery room for us. What do you ladies think...am I being crazy getting induced just to make my mother happy? One last thing A, I told people right away that we were pregnant even though some women don't because they may loose the baby. My own personal philosophy is that your friends and relatives prayers and warm thoughts are VERY POWERFUL, so the more people you have thinking about you and your baby the better. And if you do loose the baby, you will have a strong support group. Kinda off topic I know but the point is that kind words, wishes, a happy mother's day card is a POSITIVE thing, not negative.

 

EM - May 11

Sorry I rambled on so long ladies...really needed to vent!

 

Erica - May 11

EM, you just go right ahead and vent away, girl - sounds like the daughter (aka YOU) in this case has more maturity than the mother! I mean, really - your mom needs to stop thinking about herself in this situation and realize that this doesn't revolve aorund HER - this is the delivery of YOUR child and about YOUR needs. That being said, I wouldn't base my induction on her timing so she can have her travel plans all wrapped up in a nice neat package - shoot, she's already making demands on your little one and he's not even here yet! I'd thought about having my mother in law here for the birth at one point (and I do love her to death) but I decided that the hubby and I needed time to "have the baby to ourselves" and figure out the new routine on our own...she was supportive of that and won't be visiting until a month after the birth...new parents need that time to themselves. I'm blocking out all visitors, too, until I'm good and ready to receive them. And on a side note for "A" - I don't believe in "jinxing" or "tempting fate"- bowing to that would mean a lack of trust in My Creator; my unborn child is in the hands of God, not some flighty concept of fate which dictates that "If I do/don't do this or that, I might do/don't do this to my baby or myself!" Knowing God is controlling every aspect of my birth (even if it turns out to be a C-section or even be a stillborn) gives me tremendous peace in knowing He has my best interests in mind; and I can focus on other things...like how on earth I'm going to cope with my baby's first disgustingly soggy, poopy diaper when she gets here! ;)

 

EM - May 11

Erica, again - thanks so much for showing understanding...you nailed my mother right on the head, it has been this way my whole life and now that I'm an adult I'm starting to not put up with it. I am still thinking the induction thing over. I know its better if Joey comes in his own time.

 

Tasha - May 12

I am only 23 weeks pregnant. My husband didn't tell me HMD but my mom, dad, and sister did. My sister even bought me a little gift. My church gave me a coursage in a different color that the other mothers just to make me feel special.

 

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