My Stupid OB Has Left Me Freaking Out

18 Replies
Chris1975 - February 26

I just need to vent/cry/fret to anyone out there. I went for my 38.4 wk checkup today and while i was there, I told my OB that the last few days ive had heaps of menstrual cramping sensations and nausea, and less movement from bubs - more hiccups and squirms than legs sticking out or big rolling movements, but my dh can still hear hb nice and strong whenever he listens to my abdomen. My OB said that hes never heard of a hubby being able to do that, and then went on to these exact words..."are you getting any movement? you want to make sure hes not dead" (OH MY GOD!!!) Then he told me that if i dont get movement every few hours i should be concerned and get myself to hospital for monitoring and that this is something i should be keeping track of daily and keep monitoring it thru my pregnancy. Which i do mostly, but not to the extent of a kickchart...(i thought thats why ive paid this dr $4000 to make me feel safer and do a lot of this monitoring for me) So now im at home, and if i dont have movement every hour, i totally freak myself out with worry . I had read just before labour, you get crampy pains and less movement from bubs , so i had thought my question was more exciting , but now all hes done is worry me. Last week when i went, i asked about epidual, and he told me (once again in these exact words) "you know its not totally safe..a women died just last week from having one". If i wasnt so far gone, id swap OB's, but baby has been engaged for 3 wks now, and tummy dropped about a week ago, and im expecting to go any day now so cant really change. Hes just so mean to even say anything about the "d" word. Anyway, thanks for just now praying this little guy comes soon so i can stop worrying about feeling movements all the time and worrying if hes okay! What a stupid thing to tell a 9mth pregnant woman! Now its all i think about over and over :(


mahagen - February 26

Chris, don't worry honestly the baby is probably ok and since your getting so close to delivery it is normal to worry. Just make sure the baby moves up to I think is 10 kicks in a 2 hours range. Your doctor is scarring the p__s out of you and shouldn't do that especially since you are prego. Thats what prego women do is worry worry worry. An epidural is not likely to kill you. The woman who got that and died must have had a very rare reaction or something. I have never heard of anyone dying because of it. The person who administers and sets up your epidural will make sure you are fine before he/she leaves. Usually they stick around for a couple hours or near by to monitor you. Really just relax and soon you will have your lo in your arms as perfect as can be.


Chris1975 - February 26

Thanks Mahagen ....i dont really get kicks anymore that hes moved so far down...just wriggles...thats what i said to my dr when he made that comment. I am feeling movement every few hours, but not every hour...altho since i spoke to OB today, ive tried to get bubs to move every hour at least using music or ma__saging my belly , etc! Thanks for making me feel better!


CgGirl - February 26

Hey Chris, I'm really sorry for you. This is very unfair and unwarranted. I get almost agressive when stuff like that happens to me! I understand that you may not want to do that before he delivers your baby, but after, oh men, he would get an ear full from me!!!!!! I wish for you that he's not going to be the one on call when you go in to labor!


Chris1975 - February 26

Thanks Cg...unfortunately in Australia, we have private OB's (well with private health insurance anyway like i have) and hes the one thats gonna be called when i go into labour . I chose badly when i chose him..he seemed nice up til now! Clearly not a good bedside manner dr!. The only good news is he doesnt appear til its almost time, the lovely midwives do most of initial stages of labour. But yes, my hubby is gonna have words to him afterwards. Luckily, my hubbys brother is a med student and has just tonight loaned me his stethescope so i can freely listen to hb anytime i like to ease my mind.


cayingo - February 26

OMG OMG OMG!!! What an insensitive f**k!!! I have read multiple times that the heartbeat can be heard externally much earlier than 38 weeks. I'm sorry you have to tolerate his utter unproifessionalism. I would post a formal complaint if I were you. Both my perinatologist and my OB have told me to pick two hours at opposite ends of the day and wait for 4 movements w/i that period. If nothing (or not enough) is felt have a gla__s of juice and try again. BUT that as you get closer some movements are more discrete b/c of baby's position, so you may do better to watch your belly than to just rely on feelings. I'm sure all is well w/ baby. Your OB on the other hand deserves a firm kick in the a__s and an earful of well thought out words. GL!


treshala - February 26

First let me say that i believe your lo is ok. Yes the movements are suppose to get fewer the further along you go...and YES ive heard that you can hear hb w/ a toilet paper roll at like...week 28 or something like that...if you are worried just go to ER so they can check anr rea__sure as far as your doctor...i promise you...i would have let him know how completely unprofessional he was and i would remind him of his statements and ask him is this the way he handles all his patients...or is this how he tries to get his patients to go into labor by getting there bloodpressure to go up. I actually think i would complain about that b/c that is totally unprofessional to mention something like that w/ no valid reason to do so...its sort of late to swtich but id still say something about it...cause im sure if he tlaked to you like that he does to others...i hate you had to experience and lo w/ be fine sweetie


softbreeze200 - February 26

OMG!! Totally Unexcusable behavior on his behalf. I woul definatly make a formal complaint against his professionalism once your LO is born. There is no excuse for speaking to anyone in that manner, let alone be it an exchange between a patient and her careprovider. Unaceptable!! oooh that makes me so angry to hear that people are being treated liek that. Try not to worry, I am sure that all is just fine with your LO and I am hoping that s/he decides to come soon for you! Don't spend another second thinking about what he said - completly disregard that exchange with him for now. Focus on the excitment of your Lo being here soooo soon!! Best of Luck!! (Hugs!!)


sarah21 - February 26

Chris I am so sorry that this happened to you! Sounds like your OB is a real charmer. Claire goes through like 2-3 hour spans where I don't feel her but that's a normal pattern. No kicks but rolls and stuff. It is totally fine. I know it doesn't do much to make you feel better when the Dr. freaks you out like that but it's okay! You're almost finished!


goldfish - February 26

i read ur post and iam soooooooooo mad with ur OB .Really these doc get paid so well and they dont even have the courtesy to talk properly. I have had several such incidences when i have cried within myself and felt helpless. You dont worry sweety you are fine and your baby is also doing well trust your instints and pray . we know what we are going thru unfortunately these insensitive doctors dont


Astra - February 26

Chris, I am horrified at your doc, what a nut. His job is to rea__sure you and NOT to freak you out. There are risks with any procedures, but saying to you that an epidural is not safe is cracked! I'm going to an open meeting with an anesthesiologist in a couple of days to talk about epidurals, I'll fill you in on all the professional information I get. As for the movement, I'm sure if you are feeling movement every few hours it's fine, and if you do feel concernend go to L&D right away, but seriously as if we don't worry enough, sheesh!


ShoppingForTwo - February 26

Your doctor didn't have to say it so cruelly but he is right. He definetly needs to work on his bedside manner. You should be doing kick counts twice a day at your baby's most active times. Every pregnant woman 28 weeks + should be doing them daily. I would trade you doctors in a heartbeat because I like the striaght foward approach. I hate when doctors don't tell you the 100% truth and I hate when they sugar coat EVERYTHING. Again, his bedside manner was horrible, but he is right about both points that he made. I didn't even know it was possible for someone to put their ear on your belly and hear the baby's hb. Strange. Through your belly, muscles, uterus, sac, fluid, through the baby's chest? Wow. Is he sure it isn't your hb he is hearing? If my hubbie could do that he would think he is THE MAN! Lol. Good luck, your baby is probably fine, but YOU do have to do some montioring on your own unless your under your doctors care 24/7. Is this your first baby?


treshala - February 26

Shopping for two...yes you can hear it on some women thru belly...w/ some women you could use a toilet paper...yes thru belly, muscles, uterus, sac, fluid, and chest. Chris...i hope that you enjoy the ramainder of your pregnancy...he was very ignorant and he's lucky he was seeing you and not me :-) I hope that most of these ladies have helped comfort you somewhat sweetie :-) I will check back later :-)


ShoppingForTwo - February 26

Oh that's cool if its true. I can't wait for my dh to try it ;)


K8 - February 26

HiChris - just letting you know i am 40 weeks pregnant with my second and my baby has been moving much less for the last few weeks too, just tiny movements here and there...and my baby is fine. My first pregnancy was exactly the same and i was so worried i went to the hospital and they put a monitor on me and it turns out baby was moving heaps its just that i had either gotten so used to it or they were just little wriggles i couldnt feel so much. I am also in private and i know i can call hospital at any time so maybe you should call and ask to talk to a midwife and just explain to her what your doc said and ask if you can come down and have a monitor put on for an hour. It will definately put your mind at ease and im sure the midwives will be so lovely you will forget all about your doctors horrible att_tude.


K8 - February 26

and yes it is possible to hear hb..havent you ever been in a pool and heard someone right up the other end drop a coin :) it travels quite easily thru all that :)


kolleen_caudillo - February 26

ok im reading a little ahead. im only w4eeks but the t_tle to your question totally jumped out to me. what a scary moment for you. and ur ob is very insensitive. im sorry that he said such things to u. im dealing with the fact that i cant ever get ahold of my dr. he and his staff are to busy to ever call me back. your so far in that ur unable to request a new dr. but it will all work out for the best. i pray u get peace thru this:)



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