Not Quot In The Mood Quot EVER Serious Question

10 Replies
DeeJay - June 5

I am just entering my 3rd trimester, and my very understanding hubby and I have only had s_x about 4 times the whole pregnancy! I just am not in the mood!! I am so tired and sore all the time, ( I own a business and work alot, lots of stress) But I also just have no desire or energy. The last time we had s_x it wasn't very good for me at all, i was so uncomfortable. They say you have this awsome s_x drive by now, but not me! I love my husband and our s_x life was always very good, so I understand that he keeps asking me why I don't want to have s_x, but I just don't! I also am very upset at the way I look, and I don't feel s_xy at all, in fact I feel like a hippo, so I know that is a issue here too. Has anyone else delt with this? I know my husband is willing to wait until I am feeling ok, he is a wonderful person, but I don't want to cut him off either! Any suggestions would be helpfull.


JESS1980 - June 5

Hi DeeJay! I am so glad you posted this comment! Don't are NOT alone! I have just entered the 3rd trimester too, and I have NO s_x drive. My husband (who is a saint) and I have had s_x throughout the pregnany....but not on a regular basis. And lately, I have been extremely uncomfortable during s_x too. It seems like I can't find any good positions. I also work all day, so by the time I get home I'm already tired PLUS I'm tired from the pregnancy too. My wonderful husband understands this though, so he waits for me to initiate s_x. But here's a suggestion that might help you.... If I'm having a day where I feel particularly good and energetic, I try to have s_x. Even though I might not be in the mood, at least I have the ENERGY to "do it." And even though the s_x isn't always great for me, being intimate with my husband definitely is GREAT! It sounds like you have a wonderful husband too (we are VERY lucky ladies!), so I'm sure if you decide not to have s_x for a while, he will definitely understand. And just remember.....even though you might not feel attractive, I'm sure your husband thinks you are!!! GOOD LUCK!!!


Trish# - June 5

I can relate as well! I haven't been in the mood my entire pregnancy. Just entered the third trimester like you girls. I didn't even have any m/s in the beginning to blame it on! DH has been great and does not get frustrated w/ my lack of desire, God bless him. I find s_x to be uncomfortable too. Not b/c of my expanding size, but "down there"...kind of hurts and is uncomfortable and a hard time getting it in? Do you experience this? Sorry if TMI! I feel pretty s_xy and think I'm carrying well so that has nothing to do w/ my lack of desire, either. Anyway, I try to suck it up and be a sport for DHs sake but I can tell s_x is going to be less and less frequent than it already has been. I was hoping for a crazy s_x-drive too but never got it. I asked my OB about this and he said such is largely a myth. Yes, some women go crazy but a lot of women do not. He told me that the female body sees the sole purpose of s_x as getting pregnant. Yes, intimacy is mental (and so is s_x, but not to the human body). Once you get pregnant, your body deems its job done, so s_x really has no place! Interesting way of putting it, whether its true or not...


julesnac - June 5

I totally understand how you guys feel. Tell your husbands their lucky, mine's only got it ONCE!! yes once, since I got pg. I just don't want it- at all. I did have 4 months m/s and am pretty busy/stressed myself... but at this point aren't we all to some point?! I was the same w/ my first (this is my 2nd). With my first i was ready to go 6 weeks after, although I did have a c-section. i have more a desire this time, but not the energy. i feel like we've more lost touch of each other or it would be better. It definitely got better for us within months after the birth though. Good luck and definitely let your men know you appreciate them.


SuzieQ - June 5

My dh and I still have s_x, but definitely not as often as before. We had two m/c's last year so we were hesitant to even try anything during the first trimester. I'm only 23wks now (sneaking onto the third trimester forum :) and we have s_x maybe once a week. I still enjoy s_x, but have started getting bh afterwards, which kinda scare both of us! Does anyone else get bh contractions after s_x?


Ginny - June 5

It's so normal to feel this way! Something that helped me was to ask for a backrub or foot rub, when hubby was "in the mood." It would make me sooo relaxed, and reminded me of how sweet and giving my husband was, and it really helped with the overall discomfort of preggy s_x.


divinelibra - June 5

ugh, i know what u mean. we tried having s_x last night, and it was the most uncomfortable thing!!!! i wanna do it more often (suprisingly), but because its so akward, i dont want ne thing to do with it! specially with the baby kicking like he does, it makes it even stranger.


Atarahsmommy - June 5

I'm so glad to hear that I am not the only one, I hear of all these women who have this incredible s_x drive and I wonder what is wrong with me. I too have a very understanding husband, but I do everything I can to please him at least every once in a while, I don't want to leave him high and dry, but most of the time I judt don't feel like it, I had m/s in the begining and I had had a m/c a few months before so in the begining that was why, but now I don't work so I'm not tired out (well from the pregnancy I am), but nothing extra) and I am 33 weeks and have only gained 22 lbs. so I'm not really uncomfortable, except down there I am, its just not very good anymore, sorry TMI, has anyone who's had a baby before had the uncomfortableness down there and had it go away after the baby is born? sorry for the long post, just glad to hear I'm not alone


MelG - June 5

Consider yourself lucky that you've at least gotten it 4 times! I had a few miscarriages before my pregnancy and was advised from the beginnng to refrain from s_x. Also I had a low-lying placenta which also contributed. It's been hard because without that intimacy you begin to feel like you're lving with a friend/roommate instead of your husband. But I hope things will get back to normal after the baby comes. It's that part that I am worried about because it's been so long and trying to get reconnected may be weird at first.


DeeJay - June 6

Thanks for all of your feedback!!! It made me feel so much better to know I am not the only one!!! Hopefully after the baby is born we can recconnect more. ( I am also lucky to have two grandmoms chomping at the bit for babysitting time) so I will take advantage of that!! I am also going to try JESS1980 suggestion about if I have a higher energy day, that should give my hubby a nice suprise!!. God luck to everyone.


HannahBaby - June 6

ha consider yourself lucky, if i didnt have s_x with my husband everyother day id be sleeping on the couch....



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