Not Circumcising

51 Replies
meme - March 11

My parents are giving me the hardest time about not circ_mcising my son when he's born. I want to leave that decision up to him. They're treating me like I haven't come to this with my heart, intuition, or mind/education... just that I'm still some stupid, rebellious teenager (I'm 30, by the way), which is something they tend to do every time my opinion doesn't agree with theirs. They basically want him cut for the sake of religious tradition. But I'm not religious, & I don't believe it's right to physiologically change someone without their consent, among other reasons it won't be done. If he grows up & wants it, that's his choice. Anyway, is anyone else facing contention over this issue with people they're close to? It's driving me nuts!


Melanie - March 11

Meme, I'm sorry to hear that you have to put up with such guff over this! We found out that we're having a girl, but had already decided to circ_mcise if it was a boy. For some, it is a religious tradition, but for many in the US, I think it is just done because that is what new parents think is supposed to be done..... but it is so unnecessary! I'm behind you all the way and hope they'll let up soon and treat you with respect regarding this.


meme - March 11

Thanks Melanie. I respect other people's informed & instinctual decisions on what they want to do, whether this or that. I just wish they would respect mine.


mama-beans - March 11

I am in the exact same situation.. in fact, my "announcment" that we would NOT be altering out son made such a stink that the people close to me ( friends and family) are treating the whole thing like some kind of side show. They think I am making a huge mistake, that I am encouraging our son to be dirty, that I am condemning him to cancer later in life, and many of them are curious as to what it will look like!! I don't want family to see my sweet little boy and be thinking the whole time "what's his willy look like NOW?" But I am firm in my decision not to cut. Like you, I've spent a lot of time researching this issue... objectively viewing each side of the debate... and we chose this path... WHY can't people just respect that decision ( as if it is any of their business in the first place!) and move on??!


meme - March 11

Exactly! Thank you for this empathetic post, mama-beans.


Tracy - March 11

I too have pretty much decided that if we have a boy, he will not be getting circ_mcised. The majority of the research that I read, and believe me, I have read a lot, does not state any pros to circ_mcision. most of the reasons why they were doing it before have been proved to not be true. The biggest reason why most non-jewish people started to have it done was because it was thought to curb masturbation. Not as many people have it done now and I think the stats are almost 50 - 50, so boys will not even be different from everyone else. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure that they stopped doing it in Canada unless there is a religious reason, but most doctors strongly discourage you not to have it done. I know it is hard for the older generation to understand, but remember, this is your child and you have the right to make any decision you want to about their well being. I commend you for making a good decision and standing behind it. Besides, once the baby is born and everyone sees him, that will probably become a non-issue. Good luck and just know that you make the rest of us feel better about our decisions as well!!


Heather L - March 11

You are doing the right thing IMO! I have two sons (8 yrs and 2 1/2yrs) and neither of them were CUT at birth. Why change something so perfect? God made him that way just for me. :) Neither of them have had any problems and it is just as clean as having them circ_msized. I am not jewish (so no religious need for it) and I trust my family dr who said no one is doing it anymore. Where I live (Manitoba, Canada) they charge you a couple HUNDRED dollars to do it, and if you ask for it they will spend alot of time trying to make you understand that you shouldn't do it. If that's how they want to be, who cares. In the grand scheme of things, what his p___s is like is NOT the be all and end all of his existance!


pnj - March 11

Actually, there is a lot of research out there for the cons of circ_mcision... ( I am refering to Tracy;s post as she couldn't find anything other then religious reasons) I am not trying to change anyone's mind as I truely believe what you decide is absolutely right for you. However, I couldn't let that comment slide... It has been proven that unless properly cleaned (when he is a man) can actually transmit bacteria to his partner causing her to have increased yeast infections, or other types of infections. That, I read out of one of those pregnancy books... So to only say that it's a religious reason, is incorrect. But again!!! The decision is YOURS to make while he is an infact and NO matter what you decide - it is the right decision for YOU! :) Peace


to pnj - March 11

Actually, those are exaggerations. Just because they're in books doesn't mean they're gospel. It's really easy to take care of & keep the uncirc_mcised p___s clean. All the myths about not being cut causing penile cancer, making a man more susceptible to getting & spreading STDs, getting more urinary tract infections... they are myths. Penile cancer is attributed to genetics, men can keep themselves as clean as women do, & I wouldn't particularly recommend that anyone not use protection during s_x these days, would you?


also - March 11

The circ_mcision industry (sounds funny, but it's an actual business) benefits from boys continuing to be cut. Just as the medical & insurance industries benefit from all sorts of unnecessary procedures every day in hospitals & the like.


Julie29 - March 12

Not doing it. It is barbaric. People are the first to complain about other cultures which mutilate their daughters, but for our sons it is an everyday occurance. It is unecessary and many people are still just uneducated about it, jusy be glad that your are and block others out.


Karen - March 12

Did you know that by not getting him circ_mcised it can cause alot more infections. Cancer being one of them. I was in a birth cla__s last week and they stressed the fact that there are infections and cancer related problems to men that are uncirc_mcised. Im not saying your decision is wrong just letting you know some of the facts. Also don't you think he'd be alot happier that you got it done when he doesn't remember. I mean you know how men are with that area (big babies:) It's not something they would want to do when there older because there scared of the pain. Thats why they appreciate the fact that they dont remember cause they were so little.


Karen - March 12

Also you can always find a pro to your con or a con to your pro when searching the web. It's basically all up to you in the end and your decision no matter what you will do what you want to anyway right? So go with whatever you decide we all want what we think is best for our children


Jenn - March 12

Hi ladies-actually I read an article in Time magazine a couple months ago that not circ_mcizing can lead to contracting HIV easier to that of a man that was circ_mcised. This study was done in Africa and the doctors there are actually debating making circ_mcision a routine procedure for boys at birth (and those currently not) becuase the spread is so rapid there. I think it may have been the November issue-can remember for sure though. Just a study though-I thought it was interesting cause the american ped. board states that they have not found any benefits to doing it-and this study is currently adressing that issue to see if there are that can help other societies.


Julie29 - March 12

If they have basic hygiene infections are not a factor. If they don't well, parenting may be a factor. As far as AIDS is concerned I think they should be taught to use a condom, not to worry about circ_msision. It's a horrible practice that is engrained in this society and it will take awhile for people to be reeducated. People like to hold on to the familiar, whether right or wrong.


mama-beans - March 12

The foreskin isn't some magical piece of anatomy that is capable of causing cancer and Aids, infection etc. This is really very simple. The foreskin protects the glans.... the glans naturally produce their own protective mucus ( smegma). when you cut off the foreskin, you also cut off most of the mucus-producing skin as well. If you have s_x with someone who has HIV, then ANY mucus membrane is capable of transmitting the disease... including the one already on the p___s. If you aren't circ_mcised, then yes, the folds of skin on the p___s can hold on to the infected body fluids from the HIV partner for longer then if a man is circ_mcised... therfore increasing his chances of HIV. Basic hygene practices can completely eliminate this "added" risk. Teach your son to wash after s_x. Teach him to wear a condom. Maybe teach him to NOT have random s_x with persons who may be infected?? This is the same reason there may be other "infection" in that area. Parents are NOT teaching their sons how to CLEAN their bodies. If the foreskin is retracted and cleaned in the shower daily, then there is NO added risk to keeping it. This practice was started in an era when clenliness was not as on par as it is today. The earliest practices were on men who bathed once a MONTH or less. The most ma__s-circ_mcision movement was on overseas military personnel... who frequented prost_tutes and, because of the location and.. um... all of the FIGHTING.. didn't get to bathe much. Cut off the skin that holds onto germs, etc.. you eliminate much of the problem. But heck, cut off a womans labia and she'll be less likely to get a yeast infection, etc, as well since there will be less skin to hold in any germs. It makes sence why circ_mcision was done in the past... but it makes no sence now. Unless you live in a cardboard box with no running water ( Hello AFRICA) or are raising a dirty, permiscuious ( sp?) boy, the "risks" involved with leaving his p___s intact are no higher then if you were to have it cut. I myself refuse to mutilate my sons genitals. If this is something he feels strongly about when he is older, then a simple surgical procedure can alter him... under anesthesia, with pain medications.. unlike in an infant where little or no pain management is offered.


mama-beans - March 12

Here's a link to the American Academy of Pediatrics on the issue of Circ_mcision: ___ take out all (-)



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