Not Ready For A Baby

11 Replies
Holly - December 12

Ok, just all of a sudden I have started freaking out. I cannot believe I am 28 weeks pregnant. I just turned 24 years old and I think I am just to young to have a child! I have been fine with this pregnancy and just all of a sudden a couple of weeks ago I am freaking. How can I have a child of my own when I am still a selfish person?!!? I still feel like a kid myself and everytime I think about this I start crying!! Even when I look at pictures of myself I think how great my life was and now it's over! What is wrong with me?! Have any of you felt like this or am I just a bad person?


Me - December 12

I think it's normal to have those fears. I had my first at 18, but even in my 30s I had doubts with the last. Once you see their precious face and they're in your arms it works out. It's a lot of work, but so worth it and more.


krnj - December 12

Hi you're not a bad person and your life isn't over! I'm having my first at 36 and sometimes I wonder if I'm ready for this! It's very overwhelming! You have your whole life ahead of you and just because you're having a baby doesn't mean your life ends, it's just different. I think of it as a new chapter in my life. Sorry if this doesn't help much. Good luck to U!!


LandensMOM - December 12

Holly, you are not alone. I am 20 and 32weeks pregnant. Ever since the beginning, I have been having anxiety with the anticipation of Baby's arrival. I was in the middle of college and I worry now about my ability to finish school with a baby at home. (this pregnancy has already put strain on my coursework - with health concerns and physical fatigue, etc.) EVERYTHING is going to change. Luckily I am married to a wonderful man, but I worry that relationship will suffer with all of the demands of parenting. There is so much to worry about.


dwc - December 13

Holly, you are very brave to get up and state your fears, hopefully you have released them and it will get easier. I am scared to death to. This is my second and I am constantly going, what was I thinking, I can't do this, two children, double the work, I will never make it etc... But I have confidence that everything will work out for all of us. True a baby will change certain aspects of your life, but not always for the bad. You learn how to let go of some of the selfish treats, I did and I promise I was and still am a little selfish of my time and being... But I find that it works out and it is okay. This baby will be your responsiblity for the rest of your life so it is a little scarey. You are going to be just fine, the way I can tell is that you are worried about it, you are not just thinking (like my ex) that nothing is going to change, things will change, but you learn to go with it. At least you are mature enough to relize that having a baby is not all fun and games, it is fun, but it is takes a lot of dedication to be a parent. Good luck to all of us. Hope everyone has a healthy pregnancy and baby on the way!!!


Ashley - December 13

lol, I turn 24 this month and our first is due in Feb and I'm thinking that 24 is OLD! Sorry, just a different perspective! My mom always told me 24 was a good age to start a family when I was growing up, and I was always like, "Mom, I'd like to have had my first kid by then!" Lo and behold, it just worked out this way! I freak out, but not about my age. I heard it said: Having a baby is like falling in love, you're not single anymore, but you don't really care. For me, falling in love was like that and I really am hopeing that adding to the family is just as sweet . . . . hang in there!! :)


dwc - December 13

oh yea, I am 29 years old and like I said with my second, had my first when I was 24 and was scared then too... Good luck, you will be great!


dew - December 14

Holly, I'm 24 too. I know how you feel, but as long as your worried, you care. most bad mothers don't think about things like that, they just become bad mothers. Your worried now because you want to be a good mom so thats a good sign. don't worry about the person you were, that could drive you crazy! just think about a plan for after the baby is born to be the best you can. Don't think your a bad person, this is the reality hitting you and we all go through that. it's how you handle it that determines how you'll do in the end.


kaitlin - December 15

I'm 33 and I'm having my 1st next Friday (planned c-section) and let me tell you, it doesn't feel less scary when you're older. In fact, I think the older you get without having a child, the more selfish you become (or just set in your ways). I've been married for three years now, and we planned to wait for kids until now, so nothing is unexpected. We had three great years where we travelled a lot, and had our fun. It's so sad to think that this is all done, and that things will change, becuase it was GOOD up until now. However, I keep telling myself that this is the next chapter and how could it be so bad if everyone else has been doing it forever, and most don't stop at one? Almost everyone has told me that you will be amazed by how you change, and how your perspective will change on everything, and that is how I cope with the scary thoughts. I mean, right now, even with the baby inside me, I am still just me. When the baby comes, they say you see the world through their eyes and see things and feel things differently. So, if I'm scared now, I probably will see things differently later, and so will you. Try to remember that something really good is about to happen and wait to see how it affects you before worrying about it too much. You might enjoy it a lot, and then think "wow, I can't believe I wasted so much time worrying". A friend of mine told me she saw her friend last week with her 7 month old baby and her friend said "if I had known how much fun this would be, I would have done it a lot sooner". That made me feel a whole lot better. Hope this helps you and good luck.


Angela in California - December 16

It's normal to have fears, but I can imagine that it is much harder to give up freedom when you are so young. I am 37 and having my first baby. I would definitely not have wanted to become a mom when I was 24. I still had so many things I wanted to do that would be incompatible with being a mom. But everyone is different. Are you married?


michele - December 16

I had my first when I was 22. I think being young was such an advantage. I Didn't worry about the things I do now at 33, and pregnant with #2. Like will I live long enough to see her grow up?LOL THere are always worries, they just change with age. Good luck!


to Holly - December 17

I'll be 30 when our son is born, our first baby... & I feel the same as you. I'm sure it's perfectly normal. I've done some amazing & crazy things in my lifetime, but this tops it all for sure. And I mean I've lived through 100-mph winds & torrential rainpour 100 feet up a tree, hiked 14-miles ducking out of the road with 50 pounds of gear on my messed up back & running from cops (political action), & hitch-hiked from Texas to Oregon & lived homeless by myself for among the many adventures... & yet the up-&-coming having a baby adventure is BY FAR the scariest thing I've ever done. I think everything will fall into place more naturally than we give ourselves credit for. It's okay to be scared. What performer doesn't have stage fright at times? And which performer doesn't f*ck up because of over-confidence? I say we're helping ourselves out & living in reality by being a little scared from time to time.



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