21 Replies
KAREN - February 16

I was wondering I had a friend show up to my shower and didn't bring a gift. Do you think thats rude? To come to a shower eat all the food and drink all the beer than leave.


monique - February 16

I think it is in poor taste because they know what the purpose of the shower is for. At least she could pull you to the sideand let you know she will get the baby something later. or a card , or even let you know before you the shower and see if it is still alright to come. Most people I invited ,who can't make it even said " i can't make it but i will get the baby something or I want to wait to after he's born / shower to see what you will need then.


Luna - February 16

That is very rude. Showers are for expecting mothers to prepare them for thier baby. Your friend has no cla__s or is very cheap.


JP - February 16

I think it's very rude, but on the otherhand what can you really do about it? It's not like you can say something to her (well you can, but that never goes well). I think you should just chalk it up to some people are just rude. People never cease to amaze me with how far they will go. Sorry about your friend. I guess that is one less Thank you card you have to write (one way to look at it).


well - February 16

I was wondering if this friend has given you anything in the past? I am just saying cause I recently had a friend who was invited to a shower and she has given this girl a playpen, a couple boxes of clothes, and other misc. baby stuff and she was asking me if she was req'd to get her something since she has already given her soo much and she really didn't have the money at the time to go out and get her something. Also, I have a cousin who I give things to all the time and when she was preg. she told me not to bring anything to the shower bc I had already given her so much stuff. Just wondering if maybe that is why? If not-then yeah-that is kind of rude, at least a card-or a good intention or something would have been appropriate.


karen2 - February 16

I have friends who are really bothered by this, but it doesn't really matter to me. I like having friends & family together to celebrate and be supportive. You never know what someone's financial situation is, so I don't like people to feel obligated to get a gift, and I don't want them to miss a shower just because they can't or haven't had a chance to get one. If it's a really close friend, it's a little different but like JP said--just one less thank-you for you to write.


to Karen - February 16

I don't think it's rude if they were cordial & didn't eat everything. To nibble on stuff is different than eating everything.


preggo - February 16

i know the underlying point of a babyshower is to help prepare the family with baby needs but they are also for celebrating the mother and child...i of course love the gifts but more importantly enjoy my friends and family coming to be with me!


ry - February 16

I am sorry but i think it is very rude. Of course you want friends and family together to celebrate your pregnancy but the point of having a shower is to help the new mom out. When it is her (your friend's) turn, I am sure you would get her something "what goes around comes around" is kind of the philosophy for showers I think. What I mean is that while I sometimes feel embarra__sed about creating my registry and asking for gifts, I also attended many baby showers where I bought gifts to help a new family get started and will continue to do so. I had A LOT of people come to my husband and I's VERY expensive wedding and bring nothing, not even a card. I made a point to write these people elaborate thank you cards thanking them for "sharing in our joy, blah blah" Maybe they felt a little embarra__sed after that. who knows...


Honey Bee - February 16

I would say something because that is real rude how is a FRIEND gonna do that??


Steph - February 16

I think that if the person receiving the shower and the person attending were fairly good friends, the attendee should have called the person and said they were short on money and declined the invitation. Most likely, the invitation would have been extended and the person would have been told not to worry about the gift. Why'd ya have beer at your shower? I'd kill people if I had to sit around watching them drink and I couldn't!! I guess that's just cause I love beer!! :o)


KAREN - February 16

Oh I love beer too but we had guys at my shower so I thought it would be nice to have beer and stuff so they didn't get to bored. I agree Steph my friend could have called and said look money is short at this time blah blah and I so would of still gave an invite. I was just wondering everyone elses opinions. Thanks for everyones help.


Allie - February 16

I think it is rude to EXPECT a gift. You invite people to a shower to share in your joy in this time, and of course are grateful for anything you do receive, but it should never be expected. If it is, expected you might as well call it payment for attending the party - a gift is freely given.


hmm - February 17

Well, it's not proper etiquette for her to come to a baby shower empty handed, especially if she never even mentions it. Putting on a shower is a costly event and if she came to partake in the festivities and food, she's expected to bring something in return. Even if it's a 5$ outifit if money is tight. The definition of a shower is "A party held to honor and present gifts to someone". To the people who think you shouldn't expect gifts at your shower... what if someone threw a shower for you and nobody brought anything because they all thought "my presence alone should be enough". I don't know but I think you'd feel a little upset.


redhead mary - February 17

Uh its a bit rude to expect presents... its the thought that counts.... even if you think they are rude...They still showed up...I have plenty family members who have done the same...what can you do...NOTHING... I dont expect any presents , then when i do get them im excited!!!


to red head mary and allie - February 17

What world are you guys from. These days thats what showers represent to help the new mom with gifts that she will need to mother her child. I would hate to have one of your showers but if I were cheap than I guess Id love them because you two dont expect anything.


to the above poster. - February 17

do you realize you are looking negatviely at 2 people that go thru life not expecting anything and who are actually thankful for what they do receive? what world are you from?



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