Question About Tearing

12 Replies
Nurs2b21 - September 24

I was wondering what my chances are of tearing during birth. That is what I am most concerned about. I don't even care about the pain..I just don't want to tear. This might be TMI but I am really small and it still hurts sometimes during s_x so I just keep telling myself I'm going to tear. I don't see how such a big baby can come out of something so small! I've heard people say they didn't tear at is that?


January - September 24

in most cases unless you tell them not to, they will perform an episiotomy to prevent tearing. It's much easier to st_tch up and heals better. I'm sure you'll do fine. I had one with my son almost 11yrs ago because it was an emergent situation and they needed him out then. The healing time was just a couple of days til I felt normal again.. I'm sure no more than if I'd delivered without it. There are special ma__sages your can look up on google.. perinium or peri ma__sages. Good luck.


January - September 24

just add the w's


Nurs2b21 - September 24

I know I won't have an episiotomy.....I have a midwife and she's highly against them and I really don't wan't to be cut.


January - September 24

Well then you should go to that site and learn how to do the ma__saging to stretch yourself and avoid tearing. There are other benefits to this such as knowing what to expect as far as the stretching feeling and it will lessen the burn when the baby crowns.


mommyindec - September 24

January, When do you start the perineal ma__sage ? Do you need to ask your doctor before starting it ?


aliciavr6 - September 24

Well I was cut before I tore. Wasn't even asked, just did it. haha. Not that I would have objected. I think it is pretty common, but when it comes time, I doubt you'll care too much. :) Healing though is the WORST part. Ow


DeeD - September 24

I am very small like you and have a narrow pelvis. I will tell you from would much RATHER tear than to be cut. S_x was MISERABLE...that does not even begin to describe how bad it was for 8 months or more after my episiotomy. In contrast, I did the perineal ma__sage and told my doctor my doctor how much I did NOT want to have an episiotomy NO MATTER WHATand so he was very careful too. Sounds like that is how your midwife is trained...this is good and you will be thankful in the end. I ended up tearing and having 12 st_tches BUT, was not sore when we had s_x what so ever. When they cut you, they cut tissue AND muscles. When you tear, you tear it is just tissue-NOT muscle. I would be very careful about requesting or even allowing an episiotomy. Many first time moms never have one and do just fine. My doctors office do not even do them routinely. Trust me-tearing is much easier to heal. It would be the difference of cutting your knee and having st_tches, or having to re-attach a calf muscle and then having to st_tch your knee too. Look up info on Bradley (Or other various sources) I am sure there are a lot of opinions on this...this is just my personal experience (6 almost 7 kids later)...Good lick and hope your delivery goes well. By the way, there is no need for an episiotomy (other than convenience for the doctor for a faster delivery) if you have already had a baby. Most of the time when doctors preform them it is just speeding up the delivery and lessening the time for pushing.


January - September 24

If you look on that site I posted, it says 10min a day beginning the 34th week and no, you don't need to consult with a doc beforehand.


WP - September 24

Nurs2b21, you just never know how it's going to go. I'm not a big person but my first was 9.4lbs and I had only a small tear that didn't even need to be st_tched. Try the stretching and ma__saging just to be sure. It's something your husband can help you with too :)


josie4 - September 25

Hi there nurs2b21. I've done a lot of research on tearing because I don't want to tear either. I found that one of the reasons some women tear is because of tension and fear. The baby's coming out, it hurts or you are afraid of tearing, so you tense up your v____a and perineum resulting in a tear. One way to help prevent tearing is to go slow and relax your body. Try perineal ma__sage to prepare as well. If you do tear, then there's really nothing that can be done, but I think you'd be better off tearing than having an episiotomy.


J.J. - September 25

You'll find a lot of arguments made for tearing vs. epi and vice versa -- overall, I think i've seen more reports that seem to advocate tearing, for reasons mentioned by DeeD and others. And I hate to say it, but i'm not sure there's any true prevention for tearing. Personally, i was pretty relaxed, certainly not fearful about my first birth, but i too am pet_te and what everyone swore would be a 6 pound baby was 7 1/2 pounds. I had second degree tears...and I won't lie to you...i'm alot more scared this time around after that experience. (sorry). That said, you WILL heal, s_x will return to normal, it just takes time. I was not one of those people who was having s_x again 6 or 8 weeks pp. It hurt too much and it takes a while for scarring to dissipate.


Tory1980 - September 25

I have had episiotomies and tearing (the last tear was because his body just popped right out! - too fast to be controlled). My first was an episiotomy because they needed to use ventouse to turn him (34weeks) and the tear came during the labour of my second son as the skin was more fragile. It can be done without tearing but a lot of the time it is rare - especially in first time mums as they push too fast wanting to get rid of the pain or hold back from pushing and therefore tensing and tearing. It isn't always necessary and it can be done where there is no damage but you need to listen to your Doctor/Midwife, if they tell you not to push it is for a reason. With my third I didn;t tear but it is also the only labour where I had 'directed' pushing. t will be interesting to see if I can do it without tearing again. If the head is born relatively slowly then that can help with not tearing etc. In my opinion between the two I had less pain after the episiotomy than after the tear as it is a straight cut and healed quicker. Personally for me s_x was as good after I had healed as it was before but that could be something to do with Pelvic Floor exercises! If you are adamant on no cutting then make sure your care provider is in agreement and put it in your birth plan. Warm towels against you perinium as you are pushing can help as can the position you are in to do the pushing.



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