8 Replies
Susanna - May 13

I am 37 weeks and afraid of everything! I am worried about labor and taking care of my baby after. I just keep thinking how am I going to do this. I know part of this is just hormones, but as I get closer, I just start feeling so panicked. I also worry about post-pard. depression and the sleepless nights. I love kids and have always wanted to be a mom, but am so nervous I am going to freak out. I would appreciate any coping advice. Thanks.


susanna - May 13 make things worse I recently moved. The house is nice, but does not feel like home. It needs a new roof (leak in roof), central air, and plaster work done in both bedrooms from a roof leak. We are in the process of completing this work, but will not be done by the time the baby is here (June 3, due date). I can not set up any type of baby room until work is done. To make matters worse my husband has been very sick since we moved (two months) with severe headaches and dizziness( he thinks maybe from the leak in thr roof and possible mold, which we checked and had slightly elevated levels, at this point there is no actual sighting of mold). No one can seem to help him. Normally he is sooooooo helpful, but recently I can barely get him to clean the cat litter!!!! The house is starting to get messy and dirty, baby stuff everywhere, dishes in sink, floors not clean......I just don't have the strength or energy to do anything anymore. All this is piling onto my already stressed self, I just don't know what to do.


Jenny - May 13

You poor thing...I feel for you so sound so full of despair, but even though things look so grim now, this is just a test and you must be strong for yourself, your husband and your baby. I too went through some very stressful changes during my pregnancy and it feels like your whole experience has been diminished somewhat...I know what you are going through. Get your hubby the help he needs, go to a doctor, but he could just be very stressed out mentally with all the changes and it is manifesting itself through headaches and such. As for you my dear, if you can afford it, get someone to help you clean your house once a week or grab a girlfriend and have them help you out with the housework...your nesting instinct is getting stronger so you might become a neat freak as your pregnancy evolves, I know I did. Demand that your contractor finish if not early well then at least on time and get yourself to a need it! I wish I could help you out more, I know what you are going through but there is no easy way to solve your stress...just take it one day at a time and know that it WILL work out in the end, everythign will be fine, (easier said than done, I know) but keep your positive spirits alive and just keep telling yourself that this is a test you WILL pa__s!!! God Bless...


Amber K - May 14

awwee.. I am so sorry for you. I am sure things will get better. 37 weeks and changing a litter box? You might want to be careful with that. Pregnant women should avoid cats all together. There is something called "cat scratch fever" (no not like the song) it is rare but very serious. My aunt was changing her litter box when she was pregnant (a few years ago) and her cat accedentaly scratched her.. her baby was born with only half a brain because of this. She could only see shadows and bright colors. She died many times and had to be revived because her brain could not tell her how to breathe. She only lived till the age of 4 she never walked, laughed, or learned to make any other sound than baby coos. She was fed through a tube until she pa__sed away and Drs. thought it un-fair to revive her anymore. I promise this is a very serious issue. I urge women to further research it and even talk to your doctors. Even if your cat is like a baby to you consider someone else keeping him during your pregnancy as your child should come first. I'm not trying to scare anyone I just want to raise awareness I am sure if my aunt knew Wendy would be here today.


Erica - May 14

I agree with Jenny; "one day at a time" is quality advice. All of us first-timers moms (me included) have those concerns: "How am I going to handle this or that," "Am I ever going to sleep again?" "Who am I to a__sume the mantle of motherhood when I still feel like a 12-year old at family gatherings?" Take a deep breath and remember that you are not the first mommy and won't be the last; apparently motherhood's gotta be a task that's easy to adapt to or so many women wouldn't be having all those little ones -they'd stop at having one kid and go, "Heck with this, no more!" And your little one is going to be extremely forgiving; she won't care if you put her diaper on too loosely or lay her down a certain way...she just wants to be fed, dry, and cuddled. I do hope the hubby is feeling better soon, but one thing you must not waver on is that cat box - if hubby does no other chores, he absolutely has to be the one to change it no matter what, as the baby's health depends on it. Gee whiz information: For a detailed response/encouragement to cat owners regarding Amber K's post please see the thread t_tled, "Avoid cats???" I don't want any of our moms becoming sick with worry over matters that may not apply. Good luck, Susanna, and don't worry - you're going to be a terrific mother! :)


sara - May 16

Susanna, I know how you feel. I am 39weeks, I just left my long time boyfriend 2months ago because he would'nt get a job or quite using drugs, and now I am staying with my mom and not able to work. I'm stressed out because I owe people money that I don't have and I'm not getting any help from the ex. He said he wasn't even going to come to the hospital and now I don't know whether to give the baby my last name or his. Every night when I look at the cradle beside my bed I start feeling panicked because I don't know how I'm going to get through this without my ex. Then I have to worry about making money after the baby is born and I hate the idea of daycare or someone else raising my child, because I was suppose to get to stay home and take care of him. But anyway, I know I will not be a perfect mom and be able to give my child everything, but I'm his mother and he will love me, just as your baby will love you and he won't care if the house is a mess, only that you love him. And there is always help for post-pardum depression, that is one of my concerns as well. Sorry for the novel ladies, I just had something to say.


Sharon - May 18

To start off with, Amber you are very inconsiderate , i cannot believe the message you left for Susanna about your Aunts cat incident, plus she never said she was the one changing the litter box. Can't you see poor Susanna has enough on her plate than to worry about her cat, she wants advice on how to cope with HER problems I know you were trying to get a serious message across but I think this is the wrong question to respond to about that and as you said its a rare thing so you shouldn't go worrying other people. Susanna, I am 37 weeks too , I just want to let you know to try and relax as hard as it is, worrying and panicking will only make you feel worse and you need to be strong for your baby and husband. Don't worry about the messy house , you need to put your feet up and relax, ask a friend or family member if they could help clean up but you shouldn't be stressed out about housework at your late stage of pregnancy. You don't have to have the baby room set up befor the birth either, the baby isn't going to care about that as long as the baby has your love and care, worrying about what will be coming up regarding sleepless nights should only be dealt with when the time comes, don';t worry about that now. I do hope your husband is feeling better, he may just be as stressed as you with the house problems and the new baby on the way he might feel alot of pressure which is causing these headaches but he should see a doctor and if no one helps him continue to get more doctors oppinions just in case. I do hope it all works out and just remember this is just a learning curve for you and these stresses will go, just remember you have a little baby on the way and there shouldn't be any other cares for you other than your health and your families . I wish you all the best and remember there is help out there if you do feel post-pard depression any time people are there to help.


sarah - May 18

susanna,im exactly the same!,im a worrier main concern is that i have panic attacks and am frightened of having one when i go into labour! altough,i am getting more confident about giving birth,as woman are doing it everyday,so it cant be that bad!,and just think,youll have a gorgeous baby of your own at the end of it,and you will cope,because it will come naturally to 25 weeks pregnant with my 1st baby and my due date is august 31st. do you know the s_x of your baby? anytime you need a ear just write to me.


susanna - May 18

thanks for all the support, it really helps. I am trying hard to focus on all that is good in my life. I know everyone has problems and I am not unique!!! Best wishes and good luck to all of you. P.S. about the cat thing, before I got pregnant I got tested for toxiplasmosis and I have the antiboties already because I have been around cats my whole life. Even though I technically could do the litter box, I still have my husband do it. The other thing is that my cats have always been inside, never got a chance to eat birds, rats, lizards. (that's how they get it, by eating raw meat). By the way, you can get it from handling raw meat in prepping for dinner too, so make sure your partners do that part as well!!!!!



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