Urgent Question-pg119532650544

6 Replies
evae777 - November 17

2 of my friends are hosting a baby shower for me tomorrow. is it tradition to have a gift prepared for them at the end of the shower?? I am totally new and clueless at this and so far I have been handling this entire baby shower preparations myself so i am not sure what is appropriate to do for the hostess's. i feel like regardless what amount of work they have or have not put to the shower... they still get all the credit so what is appropriate to do as thank you? and what timing?


emfine99 - November 17

If you feel that they did a lot of work and deserve somthing, I think it's a nice gesture. I had 2 showers, we got a gift for my MIL and SIL who threw one of the showers because they worked really hard on it. I got them a little candle gift set or osmething like that. My other one was thrown by my friend, technically, I threw it myself but that's another story and I didn't get her anything because she really didn't do much and she put it all on me. Good luck! :-)


evae777 - November 17

thanks for the response emfine. i will probably just get them small gifts then. one offered to be in charge of the games/decorations and i ended up doing it all and paid for it myself. the other offered to take over food and she just called me yesterday to tell me that she will try to make it to the shower on time!! so pretty much i will be prepping food etc because it is probably tacky for guests to show up on time and the tables are empty. i dont want to make the guests wait for snacks. also last question for you for you guys.. does it matter when i get them thank you gifts? or is it more appropriate to give something to them before they leave?? so silly that i am such an amateur! luckily, i haven't lost my d*** mind since i am a little annoyed, but oh well life goes on and at least i wont have too much pressure to do stuff for them when it is their turn!


Brendansmom - November 17

My mother threw my baby shower and I sent her flowers to say thanks. I didn't just send a mixed bouquet, i sent mini roses in little porcelain vases so she would have a keepsake. I don't think you have to go overboard, but some sort of thanks is a good idea!


Krissy25 - November 17

Evae i wouldn't get these "friends" anything. You're the guest of honor you shouldn't have to pay for anything or lift a finger except to open presents. From what it sounds like it's going to be at your house, you are decorating and providing the food, so what exactly are they doing for this shower? I think it would be totally appropriate to just thank them for whatever their part in the shower was in a thank you note.


emfine99 - November 17

After reading your response, I wouldn't get them anything. If you had to plan it or even do ANYTHING for it, especially put in your own money, they don't deserve a "hostess gift" because they aren't the ones really hosting. That's how my first shower ended up. The second one, all I had to do was show up so my mother in law and sister in law got a thank you card and a small gift. They didn't have to do all they did and they went out of their way to make sure I knew nothing about it so I wouldn't stress.


evae777 - November 19

thanks for all of your responses. so today i had the shower, one of the host's ended up coming early and doing a bunch of stuff and rose to the occasion. the other one who was co-hosting was in charge of food showed up an hour late and was the first to leave. didn't even offer to help pick up. but thats okay we managed just fine. then 3 out of the 12 people that was for sure to show up ended up either cancelling after the shower started or completely flaked and didn't even return our phone calls. this is my first child and i am starting to see that even the friends i thought were the closest are not necessarily the most genuine. hubby told me today that having kids is a whole new world & chances are more than half of our friends won't even stick around. kinda dissappointed, but life goes on and overall it was a good shower :) thanks again for all of the input!



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