Where Is January Starting To Worry

25 Replies
inuk-mama - October 26

Has anyone heard anything from January? Or seen any posts from her in the past few days? We haven't heard from her all week and starting to get worried! Even if anyone has her on myspace, could you send her a message asking if she's ok and to check in on pregnancy-info! Thanks!

 

HeavenisMine - October 26

I wish I used myspace now. Let's just believe her absence is for the best right now :( Perhaps she'll be back in a few days to tell us she has had her lo already

 

angie m - October 26

I think a couple ladies left her comments telling her we were worried about her. I hope all is well with her and Candle. Hopefully she will be able to get on soon and give us all some good news.

 

Ashley86 - October 26

ooooh not sure if this means anything...but I sent her an invite to the group the other day, and I just checked our group members, and she accepted :) yay! That has to be good because it only adds someone if they get on and accept. Has anyone sent her a myspace message? Check your outbox now and see if it says read! I am SO curious!

 

staci - October 26

OH good Ashley! She's prob. been way busy or not feeling well then. Well atleast we know she is alright now! Gonna go check out the group now, see if you did anything different ;)

 

January - October 27

I'm ok.. just having relationship problems. Like I really need those right now lol. I was so happy this last week and now things have happened that are making it seem like I'm with a stranger. Considering my history with the baby's father (and no, it's not him), I just don't need this on top of it with someone else. We aren't really communicating, he has stuff going on in his life, his ex is constantly calling and texting him. To top it off, she's pregnant as well.. I know, I know, why'd I get myself in this situation. She's over 7mo along and today she contacted him telling him that she's in the hospital with bleeding, pre-eclampsia and possible placental abrubtion and DEFINITE placenta previa. I thought this was a ploy to get him back so I told him to ask for the number to the hosp to call her and they gave it to him and she really is there. So of course now, he's feeling like an a__s for not being there.. even though their relationship was pretty much nonexistant. He's kicking himself for making her go through this alone.. and of course I'm stuck feeling like an outsider in all of this. She's in CO and we are in VT. So, a long way away. So, now he's confused as to what he's doing, wondering if he's made a mistake by being with me.. so you can imagine how it makes me feel to be the "mistake". I don't know how I get myself into these situations, I really don't.. but I'm so tired of them. So I'm feeling really depressed with all that's going on here at home and on top of that the hormones. I had an appt yesterday.. I'm now officially past the pregnancy marker for when I had my son. The Dr told me that she couldn't promise I'd make it through the weekend though. Haven't had another internal though. Threw up yesterday morning.. but I think it was more from nerves than anything else. This morning I had aches in the tops of my thighs.. which is where I had labor with my son.. but then that went away.. also yesterday I was having non-painful contractions every 10min but those went away too. I'm starting to just get frustrated with everything.. Oh and to top it off.. John's mother, Cathy.. the baby's father's mother, the one that sent me that letter, called the other day to tell me she bought something for the baby. It's the first time I've heard from her since that letter. I never responded to it. Just seems like eveyrthing is happening all at once and I'm in the middle.

 

LinLaceie - October 27

January we are so glad you came back to let us know you were ok. We all were getting worried. I'm sorry you are going through a rough time. sometimes you just need to let things go, and focus on you. If he's thinking he made a "mistake" by being with you, he's not worth it. I know it's easier said than done, but I wouldnt trouble myself with men right now, focus on you, your son and Candle and let things settle down for you and your family. We are here for you and we all care about you. Please take care of yourself, and relax :) *hugs*

 

HeavenisMine - October 27

Poor January, I'd feel terrible in a situation like that too :( You know you can vent anything here...I hope you and Candle are getting on well.

 

January - October 28

Thanks everyone. Yes DocBytch, that pretty much sums it up in a nutshell. We are sleeping with a blanket between us.. if I'm under the sheet and two blankets, he sneaks in just under the two blankets and lays on top of the sheet.. then last night, I decided to be slick and I laid on top of the sheet too, so what does he do? He only sleeps under one of the blankets and on top of the other. I mean how juvenille, does he think I'm gonna rape him in his sleep?? And I think he thinks I'm not noticing.. give me a break. I know if he could leave here, he'd be gone.. but, he moved here, all his stuff, one way ticket, etc... and he had a job interview and he should be starting this week. I know that once he gets enough money, he's gonna run back. Which in a way, I kind of know is the right thing.. but it doesn't make me feel any better. I don't like feeling in my heart that he's just here and barely going through the motions because he has no other choice right now. Things were so great before she started her little ploys.. and then the serious stuff with her pregnancy happened which I know is no one's fault. He was the one that pursued me, he's the one that said he wanted to be with me, he's the one that booked his flight and moved across country to be with me.. and now he's the one with the doubts. It's a horrible feeling. He says he doesn't want to hurt me, doesn't want me to feel like this was a waste of my time, but that he's just confused.. and I told him that those words make it sound like he's already made up his mind and he said NO he hasn't.. but that those are just things that run through his mind. I heard him talking to his wife's sister, he was checking on his wife to make sure she was OK, they were keeping her over night to hydrate her and keep her monitored. The baby has a heartbeat but it's not moving as much as they'd like. I heard him say "Tell her yes but I just don't know how yet"... So I asked him.. what was that about.. was it about going back? He said know.. that it was about money. That his wife wanted money but that he wasn't sure how he could give her any until he starts work this week. I'm not sure I believe that answer.. we'll see. Part of me wishes he'd just go. So that I could get on with the last few weeks of my pregnancy and concentrate on that.. but another part of me really wants someone to share this with. It's been the first time I've had someone here during this pregnancy.. someone to share these things with, to go to my appts with me, etc. I just don't know.

 

January - October 28

oh and my ultra sound is Tues. that's when I'll find out how big she is.

 

Ashley86 - October 28

:( January, sweety, you've already been through so much already. I wish it was that easy for me to just tell you to leave him and say screw it, but I know how relationships are, and it's not just that easy unfortunately :( I wish I could tell you so many things, but I know one thing, it will all be ok IN the end, no matter what decision you and he end up making. I can understand how much it hurts to feel like second when right now you deserve to be first. You're his gf, she's the "ex" for a reason. And if he goes back to her, well then he's just an idiot. Once you have your little Candle this will all probably play second fiddle anyway. You'll be wrapped up in her gorgeous little eyes and her tiny hand wrapped around your finger. Candle will take good care of her mommy.

 

January - October 28

I know and I agree.. right now he's outside "taking a walk" talking to her on the phone. I said what's going on now, he said she just had some questions.. to which I responded "don't we all" and he just walked out the door to go and talk to her. In a way, I'd love to tell him to just go.. if he wants her, just go. But, in another way, I feel bad.. he moved here to be with me, and he's been here a week and hasn't started his new job.. therefore even if he WANTED to leave me, which he probably does, he wouldn't be able to afford to do it right now. So I feel like he doesn't want to be here.. but kind of has no choice. So, not only do I feel like the mistake, I kind of feel like he's a prisioner here because he has no where else to go and no real money to get there. I feel like we are roommates.. we just pa__s each other.. sometimes going an hour without even one word.. when just a couple of days ago, things were great!

 

Ashley86 - October 28

It sucks that she's suddenly doing this. This should be a happy time for you, and she knows what she's doing, It's not fair to you. This should be a happy time for you! They made their decision obviously long enough ago that he's had time to save money and build a relationship with you enough to live with you and then bam you're second fiddle when you should definitely be first. If he wasn't ready to let go, he shouldn't have built a new relationship with someone. He was selfish and so is she and it's sad that you're the one suffering for it. I wish I could go choke him for it and I wish I could be there. I would let you cry on my shoulder if I could. Well if you have yahoo mine is aneverdyinglove070205 I'm here to talk January. Maybe it's my preggo emotions, but after knowing you and all you've already been through it makes me want to cry seeing you hurt like this very honestly. You're so sweet. You deserve to be happy.

 

January - October 28

I know but it's hard for me to be upset with her. I mean he left her and she's pregnant. I can't believe I allowed myself to be in this situation.. to be the reason someone left his pregnant wife. I feel like scratching out my own eyes lol.

 

claire83 - October 28

no offence to you january this post is in no way towards you but actually him-how could he leave his heavily pregnant wife for another pregnant woman yeah if they were not happy fair enough but to be actively seeking a relationship with you straight from his relationship with her rings alarm bells i would not trust him

 

January - October 28

I know but when I met him they were seperated.. they were seperated most of her pregnancy.. although I never knew he was married at all til Oct. 5th. They had apparently gotten back together in Aug or so and they were supposed to "give it one last try" but then that wasn't working... well of course it wasn't cuz I was still in the picture.. but I didn't know it at the time. So, he never gave his marriage that last honest try.. so now that's one of the reasons he's second guessing his decision. Which I guess I can't blame him.. I just don't like being in the middle.

 

durante baby - October 28

January- I really do feel for you in your situatuion, but first off...Do you really blame his wife? Not to be mean but you are the other woman. Im not at all trying to put you down, I was once myself the other woman, and as soon as I found out I left him, and so did she, so since he was single I went back to him thinking it was okay and it wasnt, it just caused more problems then you could possibly imagine... I know you dont want to be alone right now, but its not good for you or your baby to be stuck in a awkward situation that you know most likely wont work in the end.To me this guy sounds like a very confused individual, that isnt worth you stressing and trying so hard for. I pray for your sake that you have family and friends near you that you can go to for moral support. If you do that is all that you need next to a healthy happy baby. I would ship him back to his wife on your own just to get the stress off your shoulders. he really doesnt seem worth your effort, baby or no baby, there is plenty of great guys out there for you, that wont treat you this way.

 

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