Whole Family Against Breastfeeding

14 Replies
gracie - June 5

I actually have a problem with no support from my husband and family about wanting to br___t feed. With my first son a year ago, he was an early csection and even though EVERYONE i knew poo-pooed the idea I tried to br___t feed. I tried so hard, but due to not starting soon enough, and perhaps other reasons I could never do it completlty had to supliment. I tried everything, even hired a consultant and took fenegreek pills. I so deperatly wanted to succeed at it. Never did. I am having another csection next month and once again I want to try. Now my husband and family are totally against it as they think I will fail again and remember it as being a bad experiance. my mother makes all sorts of comments when i mention I will try. It is tiring. Did anyone else br___tfeed successfully with family oposition? thanks...

 

Olivene - June 6

Gracie, I worry that my husband will not be supportive enough. He has said that breatfed babies always need formula, too, or they don't get enough food. He has no experience with this and doesn't do any reading on the subject so I don't know why he has this idea! I feel your frustration. I recommend that you go to a La Leche League meeting- they can help you figure out what went wrong before andhow to get the best start this time. Try telling close family that you are going to do it this time and that you would appreciate their support. Take your mom with you to the LaLeche League meeting- they will support your view and not hers, and she'll get to see the little chubby brestfed babies and stop making you feel bad. Good luck to you! It is the best choice for your baby. I have read over and over again that the most important factor in successful nursing is the mother's determination! xoxo.

 

3babies - June 6

Hi Gracie, my first was an early c/s too. I was commenced on 4 hourly pumping to stimulate milk supply. I b___stfed very successfully. He was pretty much exclusively b___stfed and gained over 350gm per week most weeks, and had caught up to average weight before 4 months. (Was very low birthweight born). I had a lot of colostrum before he was born, so I may have had success anyway, but I think the pumping really helped. Also if your c/s was traumatic and you lost a lot of blood your body has a harder time making milk. I would do what you are happy with, express your desire to the nurses from early on, and tell your family that if they cant be supportive to keep their opinion to themselves. It is your choice not theirs! Good luck.

 

Ginny - June 6

My mother is soo supportive, but my husband's family is fairly clueless, although he and his sister want me to do what I choose is best. SIL ended up telling me that she had been interested with her last child, but her grandmother told her it was for SAVAGES and that she was better than that(which I think is hillarious because we are all part American-Indian). And her husband said that he didn't want to share his b___bs with a baby. She regrets that she didn't even try. I think it's very courageous of you to try against the opposition. It helps to be informed of all the benifits so that when they argue or question, you have the scientific data to back you up. Back in our grandmother's day, women were told that formula was healthier than what our bodies made, and those ideas keep trickiling down and can only be overcome with real facts. Also, remind them that you are saving money and the trouble of washing bottles (those 2 things really helped my husband get on board!). And in the end, if you have trouble again, remember that you tried, and you won't have any regrets.

 

Been There - June 6

Gracie, I feel for you. You and you alone have carried this baby for 9 months. Who has the right to tell you how to feed your own child? They are not the ones providing sustenance, you are. I understand that in some way it's your husband's business, but not anyone else's. It's not your family's experience, it's yours. So if you feel you'll have a good one this time, don't let them stop you. You should tell them to mind their own business and worry about how to feed their own babies.

 

falafal0 - June 7

I hope that your family will not disuade to do what you really want to do, and what is also good for you baby. I's a shame they don't support you, but we all understand about families, don't we?! You have to do your best to put them out of your mind and totally focus on b___stfeeding this time around, NOT the past experience you had. It is your decision and it's obvious you've madfe your mind up - just stick to your guns and try your best. If it doesn't work out this time, then so be it, but at least you've tried, right? You have to talk to you DH and let him know how you feel and that you need his support regardless of what the fmaily is saying or doing. You have your own family now, don't let extended family intrude on yours and bubs wellbeing...

 

funkycatt - June 7

Honestly, your family does not know what they are talking about. If you can do it and want to do it, b___stfeeding is best for babies. I know it is so hard, but try to ignore them, they are not being supportive. I would talk to someone at La Leche League, and see if they can offer you any support and guidance. Also, if possible, hiring a doula who specializes in b___stfeeding or a lactation consultant. These are professionals who will help you succeed. There are so many benefits to b___stfeeding, that you should not end up not doing it because of a minor little problem.

 

mommie2b - June 7

With my daughter I wasn't goin to b___stfeed but my family insisted that I do because its so much better for the baby and there is more of a bond aswell my daughter is now 4 and has not been sick. If I was you I would its your baby and if you want to b___stfeed do it there is nothing wrong with it.

 

krc - June 7

My moms side of the family is pro b___stfeeding. They'd flip out if they saw me giving my future baby formula. The paternal side of the family is pro formula. They say things like, oh your baby wont gan enough weight and what are you gonna feed him after a few weeks? I guess they say that because those that did b___stfeed only did it for about 2-3 weeks and ten switched to formula. My take on the whole thing is every single mammal on this planet b___stfeeds. And we've done it thousands of years so why all of a sudden is formula better? I dont think it is. I think it is chemical soup !!! It is way too expensive and it stinks ! But these are my opinions. I say you do what you want with your baby because your the one raising it, not them .

 

GLORIA - June 8

gracie, Hey girl stick with your decision. And give it another try. With my first son it went okay despite not having a lot of support. Though I didn't have any opposition. Nobody in my family really gave it a good go at b___stfeeding. But I was kind of stubborn. My real mom died when I was 2 1/2. But some of my last memories of her she was nursing my baby sister. I grew up in an adopted family whose traditions were not like my birth mothers. My adoptive mom convinced me that she was unable to b___stfeed any of her own kids because her milk was "bad". Because her mother never b___stfed either and told her the same thing. So she din't offer any real understanding. But goodness I stuck by my choice because by the time my milk would come down lord have mercy I was like a jersey cow. Then with my second little one I thought I'd be okay since everything worked out so well with my first son. But we ran into some difficulty because he was kinda lazy at first and I wore myself out trying to get him to nurse enough because he would fall back to sleep after nursing for a couple of minutes and we got worried. At his two week appt. hadn't gained but a couple of ounces. So I bawled when I had to express milk and give hime a bottle just to keep track of how much he was eating. I nursed him partially so He wouldn't reject nursing all together.But then his appet_te picked up and he did was doing good after he turned a month old. But my husband worried more for the both of us because it was a real emotional time for me. And lord was I tired a lot. So no matter what girl stick to it if that's what you feel is best. It's you and your baby and no one else's and it's your choice. I encourage you to give it another try. I plan on b___stfeeding again with my little one (boy #3) who is due next month. Each time it's different because like pregnancy and children they are all different. You go girl keep your head up and breasfeed with pride!

 

Sophia - June 8

Breastfeeding has big benefits for baby. You can share these with your hubby/his family: 1. Breastfeeding protects baby against germs you and baby are exposed to. 2. Breastmilk is digested within a hour and leaves baby less ga__sy and fussy. 3. Breastfeeding gives the baby a good start by reducing the chance that he/she will be overweight when grown up. 4. Breastmilk makes baby's poop less smelly than formula. 5. Breastfeeding makes baby fall asleep and allows you some rest, too. 6. Breastmilk does not need to be measured, mixed, or heated and is ready to consume. 7. Breastfeeding makes baby and mom spend intimate time. 8. Breastmilk is for free and only requires an additional 300-500 calories a day in the mother's diet.

 

Nesha - June 17

grrr... i dont know if you had your little one yet but, if you wantto b___st feed your baby go ahead. its the best thing ever that you can give your baby and im sure you know that. the family is not the one that is going to be there with your child everyday 24/7.. i know sum people were telling me i couldnt b___st feed just because im going to be a teen mother this that the other thing. if i cant do it i cant but im going to try because its the best for my child i knowi ts hard when you got noooooo support what soo ever. But if you really really want to do it you can no matter what any one tells ya ... best of luck..

 

miraclebaby - June 17

this is for you to decide not them, so if it does not work, it does not, but at least you tried. Your not going to let him starve, you will need to do what you need to do. Do what you want not others, you have to live with the outcome and wonder, should of, could of, etc... Best of luck to you. And as far as your mom goes, she should be proud of you, not shun on you. But mother's dont always know best lol, lol, Be strong and follow your heart........

 

mary70131 - July 4

Ib___stfed for both my previous pregnancies.I am glad i did especially for my oldest who is almost 14 years old now.She had spinal meningitus at 3 weeks old and drs said the antibodies in my b___stmilk is what helped save her.Their are alot of benefits to b___stfeeding.Everyone has their own opinion and i respect that.I am going to b___st feed for this one also. I am lucky enough that my husband and family fully support me.

 

apr - July 5

I have it the other way totally. I come from a kind of place where it is very acceptable to b___stfeed and totally unacceptable not to. So when I say, listen here, if I try and dont succeed then I will switch jto formula, then I get these really nasty loks as if I am gonna be the worst mum ever, and how can you not succeed etc etc

 

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